Chris Grainger 1:34

Welcome to the Line Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I'm your host, Chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, meet episode time. Let's get into it. Okay. So the scripture of the week this week is in the book of Isaiah, chapter 61, verse 7. It says, instead of your shame, you receive a double portion. And instead of disgrace, you receive, you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. So, guys, that is a powerful verse right there. I unpack that at length in our spiritual kickoff episode. So just go one back in your podcast feed. You'll find it right there. Guys, again, if you enjoy the spiritual kickoffs, we do them Monday through Friday. I tell you, tell you guys this each and every week. So go to the lionwithin.us and join the daily SKO. Also, guys, join the Lions Den. Be straight up. It's a great, if you're listening to the show and you enjoy what we're doing each and every

Scripture, Mission, And Community Invite

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week, we're putting three podcasts out a week. We're putting multiple Bible reading plans out every month on the Bible app. So many things are happening. And you just want to support the line, join the Lion's Den. It's a great, easy way. It's a low-cost way just to join. And then you also have access to all the cool stuff we do, even if only one thing aligns for you throughout a month. Hey, it's a great way to support us, guys. And I'm telling you, we definitely need your support. We're asking for your support. So to LionWithan.us slash uh or and just go to lion within.us rather. Click on the Lion's Den, the Lion's Den, and start that trial, man. Just start. It's a great way. We've got lots of guys who just want to support us that way. And we would love just to give you, give back and give you a lot of encouragement and support along the way. So all that can be found at the website, guys. Okay. So this week's a little different. We're going to have, you know, every every month we try to have one week where we unpack one of our reading plans from the Bible app because they're just such a great partner. People seem to love them and enjoy the plans, which is a blessing and an honor for me. And I just want to do that with you. So one of the plans that has done really well on the Bible app is called I'm Just a Guy Who's Ashamed. Any of you guys out there, does that resonate? Carrying a bunch of shame? Because shame, man, that is one of the enemy's weapons. He's really good at using it. It whispers stuff to us, fellas, that like we're not worthy or not lovable, or we're just beyond repair. And it's not guilt, okay? It's not guilt because guilt says I did something wrong. Shame says I am something wrong. You see how that works? And it convinces us to hide or to back out, to isolate,

Shame Versus Guilt And The Trap

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or sometimes, guys, it just convinces us just to pretend stuff's okay, right? This is not how God designed us to live, man. Not underneath this weight of shame. Right? So what we're gonna go through is for you guys out there that uh maybe you feel like you've blown it well a few too many times, right? Or you can't forgive yourself, or maybe you're haunted by a voice that says you're not enough. Because I want to tell you something, brother. This is not the end of your story. God's grace is a whole lot bigger than your shame. Okay? So let's start walking through some truth together. Now in Genesis chapter 3, it says, He answered, I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid. So shame does have a tendency at time, at times rather, to take the wheel. And I don't know if you guys resonate with this, but have you ever said like this before? I can't believe I did that again. I just cannot believe I did that again. Does that sound familiar? Those words have a way of echoing in my mind. They stir up guilt and disappointment or and just that deep ache of shame, right? And that feeling doesn't stake and tame, man. It festers, bro. And before I know it, my head hangs low, my confidence is gone, my posture, my demeanor's down. And mentally, what I've done is I've benched myself from the game. I just said, nope, I can't do this. And what's interesting is that shame does not show up the same way for all of us. For some guys,

Hiding In Genesis And Modern Men

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uh, it it really shows up after trying to find them, find the bottom of a bottle. Okay. Or for some, maybe it sh it it hides its itself in the arms of someone that isn't their spouse, right? Or behind a website that promises pleasure but delivers pain. Right? For me, though, I'm gonna tell you where Shane shows up for you, boy, in the kitchen. In the kitchen, because I've used my food as a comfort mechanism for as long as I can remember. Okay. And when life presses in, uh a full plate, man, that's a soft landing spot right there. So that's like a hit of dopamine that helps keep me moving. But it never really helps, does it? No, really what I'm doing in those moments is I'm just trying to be numb. And here's the truth. If you've met a man who doesn't wrestle with shame in some form, right, uh that that that that's that doesn't exist. We've all got this, right? And this tool the enemy uh uses, he's keeping us on the sidelines way too much. And we're living beneath who God created us to be. So I had to say, all right, man, what is scripture I say about this? And and I see, okay, scripture shows us that Shane's been rolling rolling around since the stinking beginning. I mean, after Eve took a bite of that fruit, right? What did he do? What did Adam do? He just said silent. God called him out and shame hit him like a tidal wave. And his first response was response wasn't repentance, was it? What was it? It was excuses. That hits too close to home for me, man. Because when shame shows up in my life, I do the same thing, man. I start trying to justify or explain or rationalize. You know, rationalize, right? Is trying to make rationalize. We know what that's all about. I'm telling you. But think about this for a second. What if Adam had hung up in that moment? We'll never know. But that question reminds me that the only way, truly the only way to defeat shame is through honest acceptance of the past. Adam tried to hide his failure, and it cost him everything. And I'm not trying to condemn my boy. Like, we're gonna all get a chance to meet Adam, I think, or hopefully. Because I ain't gonna condemn him because I'd have done the same thing. The danger isn't making a mistake, it's how we respond when we realize that we have failed and shame whispers lies that twist God's truth, and it tells us to hide when what we need most is to run to the Father. So look, fellas, when we're getting ready to walk through, it's not gonna be easy, okay? But my prayer is as we go through this, you'll start seeing yourself through the lens of grace instead of the lens of guilt. Then you'll start recognizing your true identity, the man who God created you to be, not the one that shame tries to keep you in in the driver's seat with. Okay. Look, a couple questions to think about before we take our first break. Where in your life is shame trying to take the wheel? And then what would it look like to stop hiding and let God leave you there? Sorry, fellas, we are gonna take our first break right now, and then we'll be right back. If you're like me, you don't need another book just sitting around collecting dust. What I enjoy is something to help guide me when my feet hit the ground in the mornings. And that is why we put together Unleashing the Lion Within. It has honest stories, scripture you can apply, and simple steps to help you lead at home, at work, and everywhere in between. So if you've been feeling stuck or scattered lately, you may find this resource encouraging. Read a few pages. Take one step and watch what God does with your obedience. Hey, and if reading's tough for you right now, no problem. The book is also available in Audible version so you can listen on the go. So if this sounds interesting, check out thelion within dot us slash book or search for unleashing the lion within directly on Amazon. So there's no

Stop Benching Yourself From Life

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pressure here, just a resource that many guys are finding helpful. So grab the format that fits and take your next step. All right, fellas, let's keep digging into it because I mean at the end of the day, the shame tells a bunch of lies. And John 10 10 tells us the thief has come to steal, kill, and destroy, but I'll come to that you may have life and have it abundantly, right? And if I if think about this for a second, just really just play this out. If you had a thief that you knew was to come into your house tonight, what would your response be? What would your response be? I remember growing up, man, and at one point uh there were we had some burglarlies that were happening in our community. People were getting stuff stolen, stuff like that. And uh, we lived in a rural area, and most of the home security systems, you know what I'm talking about, they're self-monitored, brother. That's just the way it is. The Second Amendment right is in full force. And uh that's what it's all about. So what was happening was from what from what I can recall,

Book Break And Practical Resource

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these these thieves were targeting like stuff that's outside, like sheds, garages, barns, things like that. And they were looking for easy-to-grab items, okay? And out in the country or where we live, I mean, that meant stuff like four wheelas and long equipment and things like that. That's at risk. And my so my dad being the the you the resourceful man that he is, he didn't waste any time. He installed some motion sensors connected to a bunch of big flood lights. I mean, this this thing, buddy, when this one, those lights come on, it lit up the backyard like it was 12 o'clock noon. You know what I'm saying? It was light. But Daddy didn't just stop there. He wired up an industrial horn. And I'm telling you what, bro, I remember this horn. I can I can I have vivid memories of this horn. Because if that thing had uh been existing in Jesus' day, that thing would have woke Lazarus. I'm just telling you, like this thing was loud, though. It was loud. But that it the whole point was if you're sleeping and you're a sound sleeper, you gotta get your attention. I mean, this thing will get your attention in two heartbeats, okay? And because when I thought about it and thinking about it today, it wasn't enough just to shine light on the situation. My dad needed awareness, okay? He needed something to alert him in real time so he could take action. And that's a useful picture for how the enemy works with shame. Because the thief is prowling around in the dark looking for his prey, trying to take out his victims. And he tries to use stuff like you'll never change, or people only knew, or God can't use you. But in those moments, we have to expose the lies for what they are and who they're from. So, like the deity's alarm system, we need awareness, right? Something to bring, something or someone to bring self-awareness to the to the surface. And then we need, so that's that's the horn. Then we need a powerful light of Christ to drive out the darkness. Need that horn blasting, and you need that light shining. And it's been my experience that shame has a way of turning down the volume on that alarm because the lies are deafening. Okay, and when I can't silence them myself, for me, my wife or really close brothers

The Thief’s Lies And A Wake-Up Call

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in Christ are the ones who have to help me correct the course. But that means I have to be vulnerable enough to expose them to others, right? And this is where most guys stop. As Christian guys, we have to recognize that the enemy is gonna stop at nothing. And I do mean nothing. So what does John 10 10 say? Still killing destroy everything in your life. And I'm not trying to scare you right now, but maybe the audible alarm that you need to hear is that. The evil one is trying to still kill and destroy you. And the thing he's using to cripple you the most right now, maybe it's from your past. Could be a divorce or a broken relationship or with your kids, you know what I'm saying? Or maybe you got some financial failures. But we got to recognize those things don't define us. They just don't. Because we have to face, let's just take scripture for what it is. If the first half of 10 10, John 10 10 rather is true, if that's the alarm sounding, then the second half is the remedy, okay? Because Jesus can silence the lies of shame, particularly when we redirect our hearts and our minds to him and his truth. Because he didn't go to the cross for us to surrender power to his enemy. His sacrifice was heroic. And it's the key to freedom that we're desperate for, fellas. So please hear me. You are not the sum of your mistakes. You are a product of his mercy and grace. Period. And it's time to stop letting the thief narrate your story and start walking in the freedom that Christ has purchased for you. So think about which lie of shame do you most often believe? And now, and also, who is the person that can speak truth over you when those lies start to take over? And I told you, Miss Becca's it for me. I got some other brothers in Christ that are it for me as well. But I've had to build those. They don't just show up. I've had to work at that. And guys, if you need help with that, reach out. We'll take our next break and we'll be right back. Trying to find genuine resources to help grow spiritually can feel overwhelming. At least it was for me. For the longest time, the support that I was looking for didn't exist. And I knew I wasn't alone. And at the same time, God was leading me to take action. That's why we built the Lion Within Us community, which is simply a place for Christian men to grow together in an honest, practical way that's always rooted in God's word. We've made it simple. We have our daily spiritual kickoff for that little boost to get you going. We have Bible studies focusing on discerning truth and applying it. And we have a private forum where you can speak freely amongst other guys who listen. And then we have things like Friday Forge, Couples Night, where we gotta tackle the hard items that guys are craving to talk

Building Awareness And Trusted Brothers

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about. But most faith settings just refuse to explore these areas. So our community is about a growth mindset, intentionality, and transparency. Simply put, leave the mask at the door and come back you are. No perfect resume, just a willing heart and a desire to lead. I believe in what we've built simply because I've seen God use it to strengthen so many men. And I'd be honored to walk alongside you. So if you're ready, visit thelionwithin.us to explore the community. Start your free trial. Look around and see how this could help you lead with clarity and courage. So your journey begins here at the lionwithin.us. I look forward to seeing you inside the den. Let's keep digging, fellas. Let's talk about now breaking the silence.

Community Break And What’s Inside

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Okay, James 5.16 says this. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. Now, I remember watching Frozen with my youngest daughter the other day. Okay, so I got three three girls and a boy. And a line struck me in a new way. And I've watched Frozen for a long time, boys. A long time. But Elsa says something. Now, if you don't know Frozen, Elsa's the oldest, she's the one that has all the powers, whatever. She said this over and over to herself: conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. I hadn't considered the depth of those three little words until I realized that they echoed a reframe that I've been playing in my own head for as long as I can remember. It took me back to the time in my life when I struggled with sleep apnea,

Break The Silence Through Confession

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and I refused to take any actions. Now, boys, this is how bad it was for you, boy. I was 25, around 25, and my sleep was off, and health issues were piling up. So it was it was a I remember a constant day-long fatigue. And I worried that it would start affecting my work. So you know what I did? I tried to hide it. I tried to hide it. Because I didn't want anybody to see any kinks in my armor. Are you kidding me? I was a prideful dude. And the role that I had at the time in my career was required me to be on the road for customer visits. Okay. So long hours of driving every day. And I remember at my lowest point when I was dealing with this, I had to pull over about every 20 miles

Frozen, Pride, And Sleep Apnea Lessons

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because staying awake behind the wheel was just too much. I mean, I almost wrecked the truck so many times. It was crazy. And finally, after a really close call in the truck, I realized like, man, I gotta do something about this. You know what I'm talking about. So that sleep study confirmed the diagnosis, brother. Uh and I'm telling you, when the when the lady walked in that morning after sleep study, she looked white as a ghost. I thought, I'm like, what is wrong with you, ladies? She's like, I thought you died last night several times. All the sleep studies I've done over the years, I've never seen anyone as bad as you. She's like, I am so glad you came in because this would have killed you. And I'm telling you, buddy, like that, that right there, just having that recognition, like, okay, um, now we gotta, now we can course correct, right? And with the right equipment and lifestyle changes, it worked, right? It worked. The symptoms went away. Uh, so many health-related issues. Man, I was on blood pressure medicine. I had so many things that was going on with my health at that time. All that stuff went away. This is over right at 20 years ago now. Right? The weight came off, you know, I lost over 100 pounds, but I denied it for a long time. And I thought about that because just like Elsa, man, I had to break through the silence to start healing. And when it comes to shame, that's a hard part. It made me wonder why is that? And I can only answer for me. So for me, I believed that the man of the house had to be in control at all times. And I thought that if I showed any sign of weakness, it meant I was feeling with people I was leading, my family, right? And perhaps most damaging of all, I assumed there was nothing I couldn't just pull up my bootstraps and push through, bro. I just was that way. Just get it done. And I was naive. And I found that sharing the struggle of shame with others has a way of stripping us power and redirecting that towards healing. Okay. And yet, even now, there are moments where conceal don't feel, even tries to take over still to this day. Because why? Pride, man. Pride holds us back, it just does. And shame, love, secrecy, bud. It just does. And a lot of guys, including me, struggle with confession. Not because we don't want freedom, I think some of it is just we're terrified of being rejected. I don't know if that resonates with you. I'm just being honest today. But you know what I'm saying. So here's my simple encouragement to you. If this is, if you're picking up what I'm putting down, hopefully this is an encouragement. When you bring shame into the light, healing begins. See, every time you speak honestly about your struggles to God or maybe to a trusted brother in Christ or to your wife, you punch shame right in the face, man. Like, get out of here. And James tells us that confession leads to healing. He doesn't say confession leads to humiliation, it leads to healing. Man, I'm trying to I encourage you to take a moment, find someone safe, and remember that shame loses its grip the moment you name it and call it out. We've had so many guys at the Lion, they come in, they join, maybe they they share a prayer request, or they join the sexual integrity group, and they just just they get it out of their system. And I tell them all the time, hey, just by what you've shared, you've taken uh power away from the enemy. And that's what you can do right now, guys. Because what's who in your life right now could complete that you can be completely honest with about your struggles? If you don't have someone, gosh, you gotta find it. And what's that one thing if you're brave enough to even think about this question? That you've been keeping in the dark that you need to bring to the light. And it could be something super small or it could be pretty big. Whatever that thing is, stop hiding. Alright, guys. We'll be right back. We'll take another break. Let's just say it out loud. Marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God can give a man. And one of the most consistent places where we can feel unsure of what we're doing. Even the strongest marriages have moments where you look at your wife and you think, you know what? I love you. I'm so committed to you. But right now, I have no idea what I should do next. And that's why we launched something new inside the lion within us community. It's our very first support group. And it's for husbands. And we're calling it committed and occasionally confused. This isn't just a place for men in crisis. Though if you're there, hey, you're welcome. This is for any man who refuses to coast and wants to take his marriage from good to great. So inside you'll find an active chat and a feed, honest conversations, and brotherhood that says, you're not alone. We've been there. Let's bring this to

Name The Wound And Bring It Light

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God and grow. And we're also doing a monthly couples night where your wife is invited

Marriage Group Break And Invitation

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because we're not letting the world set the agenda for our homes. Now, if you want access to this support group, it's very simple. Go to thelionwithin.us and join the Lion's Den. Okay, that's thelionwithin.us. Start your 30-day free trial of the Lions Den community, and boom, you have instant access to the committed and occasionally confused support group. We'll see you inside the den. All right, fellas, what is it? Think about this though. What happens if you feel like you can't forgive yourself? First John tells us if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. That's what it says. But have you ever thought that it's easier to believe that God forgives us than it is for us to forgive ourselves? You ever thought about that? For the longest time, that's how I saw the world. I'm being straight up. Now, slowly the tide shifted. But this was part of a long discipleship journey, not an overnight change. Now, a pivotal moment didn't come in 2015. Okay. My world turned upside down. My wife at the time, she was done. And she found someone else. And news like that can just straight up break a man, bro. It can't. And even though she chose to leave, I blame myself. And

Learning To Forgive Yourself

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I felt heavy shame every time that I looked in the mirror. We had two little daughters. They were three and five years old at the time. And their whole world changed in an instant. In one moment it was mom and daddy, and then the next moment it was just like this roller coaster of emotions, up and down. And it shook them at their core. And I had to watch them grieve. And while watching your kids grieve, man, that hurts. It deepened my own grief. And I had lots of people that rallied around me, and men and women that I'm forever grateful for at the time. Because I'm gonna tell you what, Bo, if I'd had to walk through that valley alone,

Divorce Shame And A New Identity

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I don't know if I'd have made it. And after everything had settled and all the dust had settled to the ground, I started wrestling with a new identity. And I kept circling back to one painful line over and over and over. And that painful line was this. I failed as a husband. I failed as a husband. No matter how many people come and say, Chris, this won't your fault, bro. Are you kidding me? Come on, no. I wouldn't let that truth sink in. Things didn't begin to clear up until I started wrestling with forgiveness. I knew God's forgiveness was available, but I didn't accept it. I treated my failure as an absolute, immovable, irrefutable. And when considered any other verdict could be true. And if true and the more I think about this thing and study about forgiveness, for it really, forgiveness takes us to uncomfortable places, guys. Because it asks us to accept what's happened and to surrender what? Now we none of us can rewrite our past, but we can surrender it. And we can't erase our mistakes, but we can let God redeem them. So if you're struggling to forgive yourself, please hear me. If you have confessed it, God has forgiven it. Full stop. Period. Don't try to add anything to it. Because He's faithful and just. Okay, so if you're holding yourself in a prison that Christ has already unlocked, that doesn't make you holy. It just keeps you hurting. Like get out of the prison. So some of it just means state, just naming the wound, confessing what's yours to all, and then receiving what he freely gives, which is cleansing and no condemnation and redemption, period. So look, fellas, at the end of the day, you are not the man of your worst moments. You're the man that he's making new. So maybe you need to ask yourself what past failures are holding you against yourself? Or what does it mean for you to truly believe that God has forgiven you? Guys, we all have to wrestle with this stuff, okay? I mean, this whole idea of shame and getting the shame off of us, that whole I our scripture week, you know, with Isaiah, I'm talking about a double portion and being restored, all that matters, fellas. But if you're walking through shame and you're feeling stuck, please hear this because many guys I talk to, you are not alone, bud. You are not alone. Every man wrestles with this. But there's freedom and brotherhood awaiting. And I'd love to connect with you. I'd love to walk with you. I'd love to just be an encouragement to you. And maybe it's a small way, maybe it's a big way. I don't know. I just know I don't want you to keep hurting. I don't want you to keep wrestling with, you know, uh the labels from the past and the stuff you're still trying to carry on your own. You know, we got support groups, we have lots of ways we try to serve at the line with us. And if you're listening to the podcast and you made it at this point in the show, hey, you're all in. I just want to say thank you. But I guarantee if you listen to the podcast at this length in the show and you're still here, you got some shame in your life somewhere. We all do. We all have moments where these things just raise his ugly head up and tries to take us out. I want to just encourage you to go to the linewithin.us. We're not an end all be all. We're not going to solve all the problems, but I guarantee you we will help you walk with you and help you take this to the light. We can't fix it, but I know who does who can. Christ. But we can be your cheerleaders, your support system, your accountability system to help you with this. Whatever it was whatever that shame is that you're carrying around, okay? If you enjoy this

Redemption, Brotherhood, And Next Steps

Chris Grainger 31:17

stuff as well, fellas, man, I'm I'm just gonna say straight up, go to the Bible app. Go to the Bible app and follow the line within us on the Bible app. The followers help on the Bible app, too. And then start doing the reading plans with buddies. Heck, connect with me on the Bible app. I got tons of guys who connected with me on the Bible app. So you can go to the linewithin.us slash Bible. My link is there. You can actually click that link. It will open up the Bible app on your phone. You can just hit and uh add as friend, and we'll be we'll be connected. So when I send out uh reading plans, I do this about twice a month. I'd love for you to join to join us. Just have an opportunity to go through those plans together, okay? All right, fellas. Well look again, the lionwithin.us is where you find all that. Join the master, the uh lion's end, rather, put in the application for the mastermind. If anything else, just join the daily SKO. That's free. That's an easy way to get connected, okay? And other than that, fellas, I I just would love to uh to encourage you or to walk with you and to help you overcome this shame that is in your life, okay. Uh guys, if you don't mind, give us a rating and review. That does help. I mean, I don't know how all the algorithms and all that stuff works. I just know one thing. When ratings reviews come in, it definitely helps our reach. Okay. So, guys, if you don't mind doing that, and share this stuff out. I mean, maybe this could be a podcast that you want to share with some buddies out there because there's not a single guy, there's not a single guy out there that doesn't wrestle with shame to some degree. And it's my prayer and hope is that this is just gonna be a little bit of an encouragement to him. Again, it's not gonna fix it all, but if we can help him a little bit, that's what it's all about. All right, guys. Thanks for listening. Thanks for hanging out. If you need anything, please, the lionwithin.us is where you find us. Have a great day, fellas. We'll see you next time. We'll see you for our Friend Friday for our member spotlight. I can't wait for you. This is gonna be a great member spotlight. You wait till you hear this one, guys. It's gonna be awesome. So have a good one, fellas. We'll see you next time. Keep unleashing the lion within. If there's one habit that can change

Ratings, Sharing, And Final Encouragement

Chris Grainger 33:31

your home, it's this when a husband prays with his wife. Not because it's a magic formula, but because it recenters your marriage under God's authority and care. And let's be honest, a lot of guys want to do it, but most don't know how to start without it feeling awkward. Maybe you tried it before and it felt forced, or maybe you've never tried it because you don't even know what to say. Or maybe you're thinking, man, I'm not a pastor, I'm just a guy. And that's why we created this guide. It's our how to pray with your wife. Simple guide. It's biblical, it's practical, and it's designed to help you start praying with your wife in a way that actually feels natural. So it's a five-section guide, and it gives you a simple framework to get started. Okay, it makes sure everything is grounded in scripture, and it also has a powerful PDF that you can pull up whenever you need, especially when things

Guide On Praying With Your Wife

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get off, because they're gonna get off. That's normal. So this is all about reclaiming your marriage and reclaiming the spiritual leadership reigns of your home. Because praying with your wife is one of the strongest ways to fight for unity, to build trust, and to write the ship when life starts to pull you off a course. So if you're ready, get access today at thelionwithin.us slash guides. That's thelionwithin.uslash guides. And start unleashing the lion within at home by leading your marriage through prayer.