Joshua’s Challenge To Choose God

Chris Grainger 1:02

Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I'm your host, Chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, remember spotlight time. Let's get into it. Okay, so the scripture of the week this week is out of the book of Joshua, fourth chapter, 15th verse. It says, But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods of your ancestors, your ancestors served, that's the little g guides, remember, beyond the Euphrates, or the little G gods of the Amorites, whose land you're living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. And guys, I took that verse, I unpacked it at length in our spiritual kickoff episode of the week. So hopefully you go back and listen to it and just it's more, it's it's really a good challenge. Who are you serving, fellas, and what does that look like in your life? So again, uh, if you enjoy the SKO episode every week, fellas, we have it Monday through Friday at the Lion Call, the daily spiritual kickoff. We have a lot of fun with that every morning. It's a great way to be encouraged. The cool part about it now, if you're in the continental U.S. and you sign up for it, we send you a free gift. So you get a free gift, you get some daily spiritual kickoff. It's a whole lot better than anything you get at Starbucks. Then you also get a prayer request space. So if you need us to be praying for you, fellas, man, we would absolutely be honored to pray for you. That is the busiest part of the lion. So you find all that, guys, at the lionwithin.us. So let's get into the fun part. Not hearing me jab jibber jabber, but let's hear, let's get to our fun member. So, Terry DeBusk, what is going on today, brother?

Terry Debusk 2:35

What's happening, Chris? How are you, man?

Chris Grainger 2:37

Man, I'm good, bro. I'm good. It's a beautiful day here in North Carolina. How's it for you down in Florida?

Terry Debusk 2:44

What's another beautiful sunny day, man? I was teasing my I was teasing my dad the other day about the weather, and I said, it's finally raining. I was getting tired of all those beautiful sunny days. He's in Anchorage, Alaska, right now.

Chris Grainger 2:57

Man. That was a little cold, wasn't it? That was, man. That's below the belt, bro. Come on now.

Terry Debusk 3:02

That's what you call love right there.

Chris Grainger 3:03

That's it. That's it, buddy. That's it. So, yeah, I mean, you're in Florida, just sunshine state, man. You're having a lot of fun down there and super excited to have you on with us, Terry, too. And always like to get these started with just let us know a little bit about your testimony. How did you come

Terry’s Testimony And Early Faith

Chris Grainger 3:19

to know Christ? What did that what did that look like for you?

Terry Debusk 3:22

Yeah, so uh I was previously married in uh 1998, and um the woman that I married, her name was Gone, and her parents were heavily involved in the church. And so when I met her and started dating her, um, her parents insisted that you know I come to church with them and everything. And I had grown up uh going to a Methodist church, but I never really understood how Jesus died on the cross uh for me and everything. So I was fairly ignorant when I met um David and Sharon, and they actually uh started introducing me to Christ and the way that they lived and just you know reading the Bible. I read the Bible with David and everything. And uh we we got married, and I I think actually it was after we got married. We ended up getting married in their church and everything, but I hadn't actually sat down and professed my my um belief in the fact that Jesus died on the cross for me and and asked for forgiveness and everything. So um a couple months after we got married, we sat down with the pastor and everything, and he's like, It's time. I mean, you you're ready, right? And I was like, Yeah, I've been ready. I don't know what's what's been stalling. So um I I did my profession of faith and everything, and that was in uh early 99. Yeah. And uh got baptized by my um my ex-wife's grandfather. And unfortunately, you know, I was pretty immature at the time, and and um although I'd professed my faith to to Christ, you know, I made a lot of mistakes, and we ended up getting a divorce about five or six years later. So um, but uh that faith that I was building and everything um got me through that time because we had two children and um it was a battle of trying to see those children and everything. So um my relationship with Christ really exploded at that point because I was seeking God more and more, just trying to make it through. And so uh I started meeting a lot of people. I met um some of my best friends that I have to this day in uh 2007 and 2008, and uh I started learning about you know the importance of men having uh an outlet and having men surround them who are godly men who can speak into their lives and and everything. So started building relationships and learned the importance of building relationships and and uh it's what seventeen years later and I'm remarried and got a great church that's right down the street. I can step out on my my front doorstep and see my church right down the street. It's about a mile and a half away. Wow. So we're we're we're in the hilliest part of Florida here, and it's down below us, so I can see it. And I was like, I'm like, this is a fantastic spot to be. I I wanna I want to be here. So we we rented this place about a year and change ago. But uh yeah, I mean the walk's been good. The the finding um you know the line within us has been good. I've I've enjoyed reading the just I'm just a guy series. Yeah. And you know, I I love I I love how uh it goes through everything, you know, that from the from uh I'm struggling with anger, I'm struggling with loneliness, I'm struggling with depression, I'm struggling with pornography, I'm struggling with this or whatever. And it's just and it reminds you that you're not alone. Right. You know, you're not you're not alone, that the enemy is a liar, and when when you make a mistake and he beats you down and and makes you feel like you know you're just a piece of junk and you're not worth it, it reminds you when you have a series like that, hey, I'm not the only guy that struggles with these things. A lot of us guys struggle with these things. So I've really enjoyed uh reading into them and and uh doing the series, different series and everything.

Chris Grainger 7:17

Amen, bro. Well, thank you for reading them for sure. And I mean, kind of take us back, you know. So you got you confessed Christ, you got baptized. Sounds like you didn't have a lot of of anyone walking with you, discipling you during that during the early days of your walk. And then what and and then you went through divorce, so you said 07-08, you kind of leaned in. What what was like the was there a something what what shifted for during that time frame where you recognized that you needed guys and disciples and mentors and things like that?

Terry Debusk 7:50

I mean, frankly, just the the fact that that I was going through the divorce and I was separated from my kids and and and uh I'd made a lot of mistakes where um I wasn't actually able to have visitation with them for quite a long time. And I mean, I was at a point where I I mean to this day, the the only thing that got me through was

Divorce Recovery And Needing Men Around

Terry Debusk 8:12

Christ, and I know that because I was at a point where I'd be driving over bridges and being like, you know, this would just be so much easier right off that, you know, and just take the pain away, take the pain away. But I knew that that wasn't the path that that God had for me. And so I saw it, I'm trying to think. So in 2008, I missed I moved to Smithfield, Virginia, and um I I went to the church, and there was a guy that I met, David, and he um was doing a men's group. And so I I went to that men's group and I met several guys that I'm still in touch with to this day, almost 20 years later. And um that it just taught me the importance of the relationship with other guys. Right. Uh, and I've really uh learned that when you're struggling, you need somebody who understands and who can be there. And when you make a mistake, you need somebody who loves you enough to look you in the face and sit you down and say, Terry, you're making a mistake. This isn't the path that you should be on. You should be this, that, and the other. So I've I've really appreciated the the relationships that I've I've built since then. And ever since then, I mean we we did so 2008 through 2015 when I was in Virginia, I built the relationships with those guys. We did um kind of like we did the retreat with uh you in North Carolina a couple weeks back, we did uh things called encounters, and encounters were they they said it's not a retreat, it's an it's a full-blown encounter with uh the enemy and and and getting rid of you know things that are holding you back as men. And so I did a lot of those and uh I helped um with organizing that type of stuff and everything for a couple years, and then we ended up moving to Florida because my wife got a job in Gainesville. So we had a good church, we had a good church there, and I did the same exact thing, started building relationships with guys there, and now I'm down in Claremont, Florida, and doing the same thing. I got a group that I go to all the time. Once a month we have a group first thing, first Monday of every month that I go to. A lot of really good guys there, and then they're all part of the local chamber of commerce, too. So I joined the chamber of commerce when I started my business, and and it's like just building that relationship with those guys has really gotten me to where I am today. So I know that if if I feel bad, if I if I'm if if I'm getting lost, I can pick up the phone and I have a number of phone numbers that I can call and say, hey, you know, I'm struggling with this or I'm struggling with that. And they, you know, they'll pray with me and and uh help me work through it and everything.

Chris Grainger 11:02

Heck yeah, man. That's so that's so great, Terry. I mean, and you've intentionally built those relationships and now you know they're there, and I'm sure you get a lot of poor uh being poured into, but it sounds like you're also pouring into a lot of guys as well. So I'm sure that's a you know back and forth as you need it and as others need it along the way.

Terry Debusk 11:22

Yeah, absolutely. I'm I'm good at uh encouraging and building people up. I just wish that I could look in the mirror and do that sometimes. I do struggle with a, you know, I think that a lot of us are good at that type of thing. Yeah. But then we're so hard on ourselves because we know the mistakes that we've made and that maybe other people don't know about stuff. So but uh I mean that's where the enemy, what the enemy wants. He wants us to be hard on us ourselves, and and we need to learn, you know, including myself, I need to learn how to not listen to that that that voice and just always know that that I'm redeemed and and uh I'm I'm a child of God and and the enemy is a liar. I don't need to to listen to his mess and and everything.

Chris Grainger 12:07

So one hundred percent, bro. One hundred percent. I mean, and I mean that's so you talk about being around guys and and and the importance of that. You mentioned the encounters, but then you got connected with us from the Bible app, and we had a chance to talk, and then next thing you know, uh you're coming to North Carolina for the retreat. So what what made you pull the trigger on wanting to come to for for one of the Lion Within Uvents?

Terry Debusk 12:30

Well, like I like building relationships. So I was like a bunch of guys a weekend on the you know on a farm and everything, why not? And uh it would some of my friends here thought I was crazy because you know, I've met you before, but I hadn't met Christians. And um, so it was like it's like you're you're going, you know, 700 miles from home with a complete stranger that you've never met before. And I'm like, yeah, why not? I mean, what could come wrong, you know?

Taking The Risk To Attend Retreat

Terry Debusk 13:01

But uh, you know, being that I I met you through the Bible app and everything, yeah, through you version, it's kind of one of those things that it makes you feel comfortable because you know, uh, you know, you're you you at least know that you have a base of of Jesus Christ, so you're probably pretty safe going and everything. So I just really wanted to go up and spend the weekend and meet some guys. I love North Carolina, the mountains of North Carolina. I used to live in Garner, you know, what's that, like a half hour from from everything. When I was going through my divorce, I lived in Garner for a little while. So it had been a long time since I'd actually been through there. So we didn't really care, but when I was going through, I didn't really care. Usually I'll stop in and see places. I was like, I just want to go home because it was such a long gun. Chris and I both talked about it, and I think that next year we're gonna fly.

Chris Grainger 13:53

There you go.

Terry Debusk 13:54

We're not just drive. We'll just leave our guns at home and and the and not deal with the complication of having to check the uh the uh the bags and declare the firearms with the with the airlines and stuff. We'll just fly and you know there was plenty of stuff there, so we we didn't need to bring our own. There you go. For the ammunition and stuff.

Chris Grainger 14:17

So yeah, walk the guys through it, man. I mean, from from your experience, you know, for the listeners out there who had who haven't been to one of our events before, what what'd you think about what what stood out the most?

Terry Debusk 14:30

Just the the uh well I'm what's the word I'm trying to think of? Just the the different pe different people from different areas, you know. So you had we had young people out there, we had old people out there, we had people that were pastors and have their own church and everything, and and uh we had you know just people who are who are new, younger kids and everything. And so um it was it was just really interesting to to meet a lot of people from different places from Utah and and uh Washington and you know there were some people from Florida and everything. There's some people from all over the place. Uh I'm I met a guy um that was from Virginia, and I used to live like five, ten minutes from him and had no idea. I didn't know him everything. I forget his name. He was actually so we had the red, white, and blue group, and he was part of another group, and I was in the blue group, and he just snuck over and hung out with us for whatever reason. He wanted to hang out with us, and so we just started talking about where we were from and everything.

Chris Grainger 15:36

It's probably Kurt, I think he was from Virginia.

Terry Debusk 15:39

Yeah, yeah, it could have been. Could have been. I I've I met so many guys, I'd forgotten names now. Yeah, but uh it was a lot of fun. Um I did learn that uh camping is uh definitely something that that uh is for younger people, so I'm gonna bring an air mattress next year. There you go. There you go. That's it. Yeah, sleeping on the grounds for the birds at 51.

Chris Grainger 16:04

Yeah, there you go.

Terry Debusk 16:05

I enjoyed it. It was just a lot of fun to to go out and um meet a bunch of new guys and see where everybody's from and talk about you know different experiences and everything. So yeah.

Chris Grainger 16:18

Yeah, that's the first time we we ever did the uh the groups like that because we had we had uh you know a sizable group this year, so we split split them up into three. And we were it's the first time we actually had formal sessions. So how how are those sessions for you?

Terry Debusk 16:35

Yeah, I enjoyed the sessions. I I'm I enjoyed um listening to other people and and seeing where uh different perspectives and everything.

Chris Grainger 16:43

Yeah.

Terry Debusk 16:44

Um that that's kind of what I've experienced in the past where we do sessions and you have a topic and you talk about you know that topic and everything. Um and uh I I'm I've been doing so many different things, my brain is overloaded, so I can't remember what our topics were. But um, you know, I I got involved and talked a little bit and and uh watch how other guys, you know, who uh who don't talk a whole lot, they just sat and listened and everything, and then you talk talk to them afterwards because you're one-on-one. Right. So they're better one-on-one. You know, me, I'll stand up in the right in the fr in front of the crowd and start talking about stuff, and I'm pretty much an open book too. If if you know there's somebody struggling with something and I've been there and done that, you know, I'm willing to have that conversation with them and talk about it. Yeah. So I enjoyed the the um the smaller groups were because it what was it like a hundred guys out there. So if you're in one big group, you know, it's harder to to get that opportunity. So breaking it up into smaller groups was a good idea. I like I like the idea of doing it in front of a fire too, because you know, campfires tend to have the uh just the ambiance of you know just want to be able to talk. That's right. And you stare at the flames sometimes and just watch the burn the the um firewood burn. It's great. I loved it.

Chris Grainger 18:08

Yeah, but I know we did something as unique to us as well this year. We did that mastermind workshop on Saturday morning, and I don't know if you were able to go to that, but the feedback was pretty interesting. And my guys like just seeing what that looked like, you know.

Terry Debusk 18:25

Yeah, I no, I didn't, I don't think I did that one. So I don't remember where I was what I was doing. It's all good. I don't know.

Chris Grainger 18:34

It's all good. A lot of memories for sure. What what would be what was your I guess your your your main takeaway or memory from it? What what what what stood out to you?

Terry Debusk 18:44

It just it was a good reminder, you know, a good reminder of that we're we're not alone, you know, as men. And um I I look forward to to next year getting to see the guys again and meeting even more guys and um just the fact that we got to to sit around and you know d doing the having the opportunity to go fishing and uh I've never skeet shooting before, so I enjoy doing that. I I shot Chris's gun a couple of times and uh never had done that before, and then just getting to go down and and talk to people about different experiences and everything with firearms and learning some stuff too, because I know firearms, but I'm not uh nearly an expert, so I enjoyed that. But just building the relationships really is what I enjoyed. So I've I've got several phone numbers and and uh I've been trying trying to get catch up with some of the guys and everything and just that's cool. Check in with them and everything.

Chris Grainger 19:44

That's that's so cool. Well, I mean, for for you know, a listener right now, Terry, who hasn't been to a lion event or maybe they haven't jumped into the lion's den or some of the things we're offering online, what would be your encouragement to that guy?

Terry Debusk 20:01

I mean, come in and check it out. So the the enemy's gonna tell you that you're alone, that you don't need this, that that uh you know you're you're you're alone and you're the only person going through this thing. One of the things that coming into a place like the line within us teaches you is that you're not alone. You're just one guy out of lots of guys struggling with the same thing. Um I've been in men's ministry, let's see, 16, 18, so 18, 19 years now. Every single one of them

You’re Not Alone In The Fight

Terry Debusk 20:39

the one of the major points is anger, pornography, and depression because of pornography. And so, like I said, the enemy's a liar, and he's gonna tell you that you're alone, that you there's nobody else that struggles with that, and that you're just a horrible person and everything. And just come into the group and give it a chance, you know. Um, get to know some of the guys, whether it be, you know, through phone calls or or Zoom calls like this one, and um, or you know, drop on the listen to the podcast and then maybe come on and and join as a a guest and everything and talk about your experiences and everything. Because the more you talk about it, the better that the better off you're gonna be because you're putting it out there and you you need you're you're letting people know these are the things that uh I need prayer for. So help me out and pray for me on this and pray for me on that. Right. And uh then you can also learn about other people and what you need to pray for for them. Because it's not all about you, it's about it's about us as a a whole and just being better husbands and better children of God and better fathers, because I tell you what, I mean God I th I thought that God had uh had tested me a lot and then he gave me a little girl. I'm like, my goodness. He's it's he's totally changed changed my life and and uh given me a little girl on everything.

Chris Grainger 22:03

So that's so awesome, brother. How old is she?

Terry Debusk 22:07

She's five.

Chris Grainger 22:08

Thank you, man.

Terry Debusk 22:10

She turned six in October, so she's you know, getting to the point where she's you can see the changes in her and everything. Oh yeah. She gets closer to six. So a lot of fun. Humbling. I'm not apparently I'm not that funny.

Chris Grainger 22:27

I think you're funny.

Terry Debusk 22:31

I know. I can't I keep being told just wait till she's a teenager, then you're really not gonna be funny.

Chris Grainger 22:37

There you go, brother. There you go. Trust me, I got two teenage daughters, so yeah, it can the fun goes away sometimes, but it's okay. It comes back. Yeah.

Terry Debusk 22:47

I enjoy my relationship with my boys. They're they're in their twenties now and I enjoy 'em. That's so it's a lot better now than when they were teenage.

Chris Grainger 22:55

You have to get them up here next year, man. They'd be they'd have a good time. That's awesome.

Terry Debusk 22:59

Yeah, they're I mean, they're not that far away. I mean five hours they're in Newport News, Virginia.

Chris Grainger 23:06

Yeah. I went to school in in Norfolk. Yep. Yeah, old Dominion, man. Well man, this has been great there. Any anything else before we get to our book of the week and dad jokes? Anything else you'd like to share with us, brother?

Terry Debusk 23:21

I just encourage guys that are listening to to really give it a shot, you know. Um get to know Chris a little bit, you know. Um I I don't mind if Chris gives my information to anybody who comes on and and wants to ask and wants to shoot me an email or pick up the phone and call me. I'm available. You know, I'm I make myself available for people just to be a listener and to to help people through because I've been through divorce and I've been through struggles in the marriage that I have now, and it's helped me grow into the man that I am today.

Chris Grainger 23:52

Amen, brother. Amen. Well, Terry, thank you so much, man. Uh really appreciate you sharing your testimony. And it was awesome getting to meet you and looking forward to next year as well. And before we wrap up, though, I got a couple things I want to run by you. So we do have a we do a book of the week at the lion. This book, this week's called More Than You, uh Becoming Who You Were Designed, Who You Were Designed To Be, To Become, Rather. And uh This is a great book from my my brother Bill. So hopefully you guys get a chance to check that one out. And I got two dad jokes I want to run by you, Terry, just to see. Absolutely. You can love it. You can try them on your your wife and your daughter, and and and we'll see how uh how they land. All right. So the first one was uh I just applied for a job down at the diner, okay? Uh and I and I told them I really bring a lot to the table. So man. All right. So that's that one. That's that one. Got a little chuckle without you. All right. So the second dad joke. You like that? You like that one? Okay. All right. So the second one is my friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography.

Book Pick Dad Jokes And Next Steps

Chris Grainger 25:00

And I don't believe him, Terry, but but that's a story that he's sticking with.

Terry Debusk 25:05

That he's sticking with a good list. That's terrible, but hey, I'll I'll give you a smile.

Chris Grainger 25:11

There you go. There you go. So I know they're both, they're both terrible this week. So which one would you pick, Terry? One or two. Which one are you going with?

Terry Debusk 25:18

Oh, the diner one. The diner one.

Chris Grainger 25:20

Okay. All right. That's cool. So again, that I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told him I really bring a lot to the table. That's number one, fellas. And number two, my friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him, but that's his story and he's sticking to it. So anyway, fellas, let us know which one uh lands with your wife or your kids. Remember, eye rolls totally count when it comes to dad jokes. So uh, you know, don't dismiss the eye roll. You may you may be onto something there. Uh, the question of the week is what biblical standards are staples in your home? So, fellas, you gotta have the standards, you know, and the standards have to be that just that the standards from God and making sure that we're not compromising those when the world pushes back. So, Terry, anything else you'd like to share today, brother?

Terry Debusk 26:05

Nope, not that I can think of.

Chris Grainger 26:08

All right, guys. Well, it's it's been an honor to hang out with you, Terry. Thank you so much. So, fellas, if you're listening, thelionwithin.us, check out all our resources there. We'll by the time this comes out, we'll already have hopefully on the website the save to date for the next retreat next spring. So we got we got the dates already set for that. Uh, we're considering to doing an event in the fall. We're not we had we're not 100% on that yet. So we're so just keep out. If you go to the linewithin.us slash events, guys, you'll see what Terry's talking about there, uh, the events there. So hop into the daily SKO, join the Lions Den, or we highly recommend you guys put in your application for a leadership mastermind because we're building more and more of those groups out, and we love to serve you with that. So give us a rating and review, fellas. Thank you so much for hanging out. The LionwithN.us is where it's at, and just keep on leashing the Lion Within. If you're like me, you don't need another book just sitting around collecting dust. What I enjoy is something to help guide me when my feet hit the ground in the mornings. And that is why we put together Unleashing The Lion Within. It has honest stories, scripture you can apply, and simple steps to help you lead at home, at work, and everywhere in between. So if you've been feeling stuck or scattered lately, you may find this resource encouraging. Read a few pages. Take one step and watch what God does with your obedience. Hey, and if reading's tough for you right now, no problem. The book is also available in audible version. So you can listen on the go. So if this sounds interesting, check out the lionwithin.us slash book or search for unleashing the lion within directly on Amazon.

Unleashing The Lion Within Promo

Chris Grainger 27:55

So there's no pressure here, just a resource that many guys are finding helpful. So grab the format that fits and take your next step.