Welcome And Marriage Scripture

Chris Grainger 0:02

Welcome to the Line with Mennace, a podcast serving Christian man. The road hunger to be the leaders, God intends you to be. I'm your host, Chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, meet episode time. Let's get right into it. Okay. So the scripture week this week is Mark 10, verses 8 and 9. It says, And the two will become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. Okay, guys. So took some time and unpacked those verses at length in our spiritual kickoff episode. Go back in your podcast feed. It should be the previous one in your podcast. Listen to that. Talked a lot about marriage, how to strengthen our marriage, how it how it can't be separated, and how we have to fight, fight, fight. Again, we do the daily spiritual kickoff at the Lion Within Us every day, Monday through Friday. We'd love to do that for you, for you to be a part of that. It's our way to encourage you, to walk with you, to support you, just to give you a little bit of hope to get your day going right. So look at a lionwithin.us, click on that link for the daily spiritual kickoff or daily SKO to join. You'll get a free gift, and you also have access to our prayer request space. We'd love to pray for you. Okay. So talking about marriages today, and we're going to have a lot of fun with this one. We brought in Brad Mitchell. Okay. He's the co-founder of Build Your Marriage. Guys, I don't know if you heard of Build Your Marriages before. They got a wonderful ministry. They're dedicated to helping couples create Christ-centered marriages. Okay. They've gone through a lot of brokenness. Their story, him and his wife, Heidi, their story is powerful for Brad. They've now been been married for 42 years. They got like four decades of experience in pastoral ministry. Okay. So they're honest, they're transparent. You're not going to hear a bunch of fluff here on this one, guys. They're very transparent. Uh Brad is on how this works. And hopefully you guys are going to be really encouraged. I know I was. I was looking forward to this one. Brad absolutely knocked that to part. So just sit back and enjoy this conversation with Brad Mitchell. Well, Brad, welcome to The Lion Within Us. How are you doing today, sir?

Brad Mitchell 1:59

Man, Chris, I am so glad to be with you. And I love what you're doing with The Lion Within. I mean, reaching men, iron sharpening iron. We talked offline, but I mean that is my heartbeat as well. And I have huge respect not only for what you're doing, but I'm grateful for what God's doing as far as just really blowing his Holy Spirit winds into what you're accomplishing to connect men and to give them hope and encouragement and direction in their walk with Jesus and with each other.

Chris Grainger 2:26

Amen to that. Yeah, God, he's doing a mighty work. Obviously, he's doing a mighty work with you as well. And I'm super excited to have you on. And maybe before we get dive into your material, share something fun about you that maybe not many people know about, Brad.

Brad Mitchell 2:40

Well, let's see here. I suppose one of the fun things would be for my wife and myself, her name's Heidi, and I'll be talking about Heidi some too. But uh, we have a goal,

Meet Brad Mitchell And Travel Goal

Brad Mitchell 2:50

and our goal is to get to 80 countries by the time we're 80. So, you know, being empty nesters has freed us up a little bit to do more of that. And we're at 67 now. So we think we'll get there. And if we don't, I mean, even 67 is a great accomplishment, you know, for us. But that's one of the things for us. Some people get exhausted traveling and we get energized and refreshed from it. So it's just something we really enjoy. And she looks for the deals. Like, I mean, she found one deal once to Ecuador, round trip, full week on Delta, and then all of our hotel meals, everything for like 600 bucks each. And so, you know, cheaper than Disney. So when you think about it, it sounds exotic and extravagant, but I honestly it's been something that has been a good investment for us. And so there you go. That's one thing for me.

Chris Grainger 3:34

That's cool. So, what's the what's the one on the country on the bucket list that you haven't been to yet? Oh man.

Brad Mitchell 3:41

Well, I would say the one I well, it would be the continent of Antarctica. We'd like to get there. I don't know that we will, it's too expensive. That's one that you don't find a good deal on. Um, but I would say I would really like to, well, I'd like to get to Vietnam. Uh, I've just heard great things about people's tours there. I wish I could do Russia. Obviously, that's not an option right now. I'd like to get to St. Petersburg someday. Um, we'd like to get over to, you know, kind of the Middle East and explore around there. So, you know, there's a few things that are out there that are still with us. We've done very little in Africa. I think we've only been to Morocco. So there's a whole lot that we can experience. It's just timing and money and God's leading, and we always pray about it. And if we're not going to get somewhere, okay, that's fine. You know, if we got nothing else and God had something else in store for us, we're good with that too.

Chris Grainger 4:29

Amen to that, bro. Amen. Well, thank you for sharing that for sure. I'm super excited. You know, you you have the book, you know, with you and you and your wife build your marriage with prayer, wonderful resource. And and you and your life build a ministry out of a lot of brokenness, and you're open with that, and you talk about that a lot. So, what was the turning point where you knew that restoration was actually possible for you and your bride?

Brad Mitchell 4:51

Yeah, boy. Um, well, I'll just reference what the uh story is of our backstory. Sure. Uh, some of your guys are familiar with the author Lee Strobel and some of his works. And so Lee uh told our story. I mean, with our permission, he interviewed us and used our story because he's been a friend for decades uh in his book, The Case for Grace. And we've written about it in one of our books called Ruin to Recovery. And the story is just many, many years ago, I was unfaithful to Heidi. And um, you know, there's so much brokenness that comes from that. And usually marriages are shipwrecked as far as like destroyed and divorce is uh upcoming. But God did a work of healing and restoration and reconciliation through that time that was absolutely amazing. And uh the forgiveness that Heidi uh was able to give to me,

From Infidelity To Raw Prayer

Brad Mitchell 5:40

you know, it was a decision and then a process. And um, and then of course, learning to forgive myself was part of that. And when we look back on our marriage, I mean, now it's been so many years, and we have a ministry that you know that you've referenced called Build Your Marriage. And it's not about a fair recovery. Uh, it's about all the stuff that is goes into marriage and helping couples build a Christ-centered marriage, just as you're sharpening men through the line within as far as their walk with Jesus. We're sharpening couples in their walk with Jesus. And we look back on that broken time as really a pivotal time for us in our prayer life together. Um, we had always prayed. I mean, we'd been raised in Christian homes, and even, you know, when we were dating, we we would pray together. So it wasn't unique, but it was more the rote stuff. You know, it was kind of like, God bless us, bless our kids, bless, you know, our life, you know, praying before a meal. It wasn't, it was rote and not raw. And in the brokenness, you hit the raw. It's the God, we need you. We are desperate for you. We are, we, we don't know where to turn. We don't know what's going to happen. We don't know what is next. We don't know how to wade through this. You know, when you're going through trauma, you you feel like you're swimming in peanut butter, frankly. I mean, you just don't feel like you're making any traction, any direction, any uh progress at all. And it's all you can do to make it the next minute, let alone the next hour, the next day. And it was in that season that we really found our um relationship together in prayer with God becoming far more authentic and real because everything was stripped away. I mean, all the pretense, all the you know, fluff of just life uh was stripped away, and we really were crying out to God. So that was a huge, huge turning point for our lives. Wow.

Chris Grainger 7:29

Well, well, first of all, I'm so glad you guys came through it. And and maybe there's guys listening right now and they're in that crisis right now, and they're in the in the thick of it. What's the first things couples did usually get wrong when they try to fix this? Because you get you and Heidi did it right. So where do you think guys go wrong when they try to course correct?

Brad Mitchell 7:48

Yeah, I can give a few things actually. Um, and first of all, for any of you men going through this, I want you to know there's hope. And there's always hope in Jesus Christ. I'm not saying that your marriage necessarily is gonna survive. That depends, you know, on your spouse and on the process and on you too and and such. So, but I want to tell you that there is hope for you in Jesus Christ, first and foremost, and there's healing for you through this. And the hope and the healing that we found of what I want to speak into men who are finding themselves in that situation, or maybe you're going, I gotta get out of this, and I don't know how to get out of it, and I don't want to be found out, or whatever. Here's a couple of things. First of all, honesty. A hundred percent honesty is important that you don't hold back, you know. Let's just say you're having the conversation or you're in the middle of the throes of it, or you've been discovered, or you've you've uh unveiled what you've done. There, you you can't hold anything

Five Mistakes Men Make After Betrayal

Brad Mitchell 8:38

back because if you do, you will forever have that in the back of your mind and wonder if that too is gonna get found out. And every time there's a new revelation, it is a new exposure, and it actually is a full setback, not only to the beginning, but actually a little bit before the beginning of the revelation for for your spouse. Um, so you've got to make sure that everything is out right up front. Second, it is important for you guys to get Christian counseling. You need somebody who's gonna walk you both through the minefield that you're in right now. We had a godly Christian counselor who just worked with me individually, Heidi individually, us together, and really helped us to have hope, to look to Christ, to put the pieces together to kind of unwrap what took place in my brokenness that led me to that place, and my character deficiencies that led me to that place, and how to repair all of that. Third thing, there has to be absolute ownership of what you've chosen to do. You cannot be in a position of saying, well, I only did this because she, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You did it because you chose to do it. You man up and you own it 100%. You don't point fingers, you don't point blame, you don't make excuses because when you do that, you're excusing yourself. And and that's not what you do as a man. As a man, you own 100% of what you've chosen to do, and then you take the steps forward. Fourth thing, uh, you cannot uh dictate or regulate your wife's healing process. You know, I'll just tell you in the years of working with men and working with couples, something Heidi and I have seen people do, either one, husband or wife, is to say, well, I've said I'm sorry. You just need to forgive and forget. You just need to get over it. You just need to, you know, move on. And it's that's the perpetrator telling the victim when they need to get better. You know, you can't do that. So you have to engage in whatever the healing process looks like out of humility and brokenness, because you know, their hurt is because of something you did. And so that means that real humil humility engages in whatever is necessary to rebuild trust on whatever timeline it takes to rebuild trust with your wife. And that is important for her. That is important for the health of your marriage. It is not about you just like, you know, getting off scot-free or just getting off with a slap on the wrist or you know, whatever it may be. It means you lean into that. And the where am I at? Fifth thing. The fifth thing is, thank you. The fifth thing is whatever the consequences are, you've got to lean into that as well. You don't do it to beat yourself up. But I found personally, I found like when I look at Hebrews, uh, I think it's 12, 11, or 12, where God talks about the, you know, God did where the Bible talks about God disciplining us so that, you know, again, we become righteous again. And a couple of verses later talks about the healing. I found that the consequences of my sin are often really the form of God's discipline for me. And I need to lean into that so that I can receive all that God has for me to get so that in that broken place, He can reshape me to be the man that he wants me to be, so that I can be walking in righteousness again, so that I can experience healing, so that I can once again be a vessel that can be poured out and used for God's glory. So the consequences often, like for us, oh my goodness, we were homeless for 10 months. You know, that's just one example. We lost 90% of our income. You lose friends, you lose relationships because of my choices. And those were all things that God used formatively to not only shape me, but really to uh rebuild and reconstruct our marriage on a whole new platform of dependency, full dependency. I had been in ministry, but you know, we're kind of doing life and in ministry. But now it was like an all-out dependency on God.

Chris Grainger 12:29

Wow. Okay. And through your portrayal and and the healing process you mentioned for your wife, you know, she chose forgiveness. I kind of show us like for you specifically, what did what did that look like when she chose that? Because I mean, we guys have theories and they have uh we like on the line to talk real life, like what really happened. So, I mean, what in those moments when she chose forgiveness, but what were the next steps for you guys?

Brad Mitchell 12:55

Well, one of the things that Heidi uh has learned with forgiveness, and she's absolutely right, is that often people will say, Well, I'll forgive when I feel like it, but right now I don't feel like forgiving. And that's why I use that phrase, she chose forgiveness. Because what Heidi realized, and she's so right, is that you choose to forgive, and you don't do it for the perpetrator's sake, you do it for your own sake, so you don't get bitterness and resentment building up within you. You make that choice to forgive. And as she says, if Christ has forgiven me, how can I not forgive?

Forgiveness Without Shame And Spiritual Battle

Brad Mitchell 13:25

So you make that choice, and the feelings eventually may or may not come, but you're making that choice of the will to forgive. So that's the first thing. You asked about it, how it affected me. So, you know, I'll address that as well. For me, that's an interesting question you asked there. Um for me, I would say that when Heidi made that choice to forgive, it opened up at least a pathway for my healing also. Um, I didn't I didn't have to have for her forgiveness to experience healing from God, but it really helped so much for me to be able to um experience God's forgiveness through her.

Chris Grainger 14:07

Okay.

Brad Mitchell 14:08

I think that was a huge thing for me. Um, that I was able to begin the process of even forgiving myself. I think a lot of times as men, this is just Brad speaking. I can't speak for all guys, but it's a generality. I think a lot of times as men, we live in shame because of things we have done or are doing. And shame is always of the enemy. Shame is never from God. Guilt is, I mean, the enemy, the enemy brings shame. Uh, God, the Holy Spirit brings conviction, right? He convicts us of sin, and we feel guilty as a result of that. But once we start feeling shame, that's something the enemy brings on. So Heidi being able to forgive without heaping shame on me allowed me to experience God's forgiveness in a deeper way and to really identify the difference between shame and guilt, and to do the spiritual battle against shame and to be able to say, you know, whenever there's shame coming out of my counselor was really helpful for this too. His name is Bob. You know, you always think about what about Bob? So the the movie.

Chris Grainger 15:03

That's a great one.

Brad Mitchell 15:04

Ironically, his name was Bob. So Bob was the one who pointed out to me, he said, shame is always of the enemy, Brad, and you need to do battle against the enemy when he comes against you. So for all of you men, when you're experiencing shame, I'll just tell you that you do spiritual battle. You have authority through Jesus Christ and your relationship with Jesus Christ, even if you're a brand new Christian. You've been seated with Christ in the heavenly realms, as it says in Ephesians 2. So you have authority through Jesus Christ to say Satan in the name and the power and the authority of Jesus Christ, and through his shed blood, I command you to leave me. That is shame. That is not who I am. I'm a man of God. I'm forgiven. I am cleansed, I am purified, I'm a I'm a son of God, and I'm walking in that, not in shame. And, you know, you don't have to use those words. It's not like an incantation. You say it in your own words, but you say it in the authority of Jesus Christ, in the power of Jesus Christ, and the shed blood of Jesus Christ, and the enemy has to leave. And you may have to say it multiple times because he's relentless, he'll keep coming against you. But you keep saying that, making that declaration out loud and walk in that. So Heidi's forgiving me, to go back to your question. Heidi's forgiving me gave me so much freedom in my spirit, in my walk with the Lord, in my own healing process. It was huge, and it created um a foundation for our own healing as a couple.

Chris Grainger 16:19

Okay. We'll take our first break, guys. We'll be right back and continue with Brad. Let's just say it out loud. Marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God can give a man. And one of the most consistent places where we can feel unsure of what we're doing. Even the strongest marriages have moments where you look at your wife and you think, you know what? I love you. I'm so committed to you. But right now I have no idea what I should do next. And that's why we launched something new inside the line within us community. It's our very first support group. And it's for husbands. And we're calling it committed and occasionally confused. This isn't just a place for men in crisis. So if you're there, hey, you're welcome. This is for any man who refuses to coast and wants to take his marriage from good to great. So inside, you'll find an active chat and a feed and honest conversations and brotherhood that says, hey, you're not

Husbands Support Group Invitation

Chris Grainger 17:15

alone. We've been there. Let's bring this to God and grow. And we're also doing a monthly couples night where your wife is invited. Because we're not letting the world set the agenda for our homes. Now, if you want access to this support group, it's very simple. Go to the lionwithin.us and join the Lion's Den. Okay, that's the LionWithin.us. Start your 30-day free trial of the Lions Den community, and boom, you have instant access to the committed and occasionally confused support group. We'll see you inside the den. I'm curious. I mean, obviously, you know, God did a a great thing in your marriage. She extended that forgiveness. What were some of the big things that God started changing in you personally so that your marriage could truly change?

Brad Mitchell 18:06

You know, one of the things was for me personally, and I would say it it impacted our marriage, is that through the course of our marriage for years, decades, frankly, I would withhold from Heidi because I would think she can't handle it. You know, the old Jack Nicholson, you know, you can't handle the truth kind of a thing. That's how I was treating Heidi, is that she couldn't handle the truth. And so I wouldn't fully disclose things. I wouldn't open up. And so there was a dishonesty in me by giving, you know, the part of the story, but not the full story, whether it was, you know, with kids or finances or whatever it may be. So one of the things that changed was absolutely now what what is there to hide? And now it's 100% disclosure,

Rebuilding Character Through Honesty And Accountability

Brad Mitchell 18:46

honesty with Heidi of whatever is going on in my spirit or my thinking or what I've been through the day. I'm all about rebuilding that trust and being 100% honest. So now, for all of these years since then, that has been one of the huge things with me, has been a much uh deeper level of character development and honesty, not only with Heidi, but you know, in any relationship. I want to make sure that I am, you know, being, you know, speaking the truth and speaking it in love. Um, I would say that's probably one of the bigger things. Uh, I would say to um my accountability relationships. Um I just came across, okay, so I'm just, I wrote it down so I could remember because I'm still memorizing it, but I just came across in the ESV, I love how it words this, Proverbs 18.1. This last week I was like, Heidi, listen to this. Let me read this. Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire. He breaks out against all sound judgment. And for men who live in isolation, we're seeking our own desire, right? Yeah. I just thought it was a great verse about accountability. So after, you know, our breakdown in our marriage, uh, I sought out accountability. And you need to find it, obviously, from somebody who knows you, that you trust, that you can build uh that relationship with. And mine's with a buddy of mine who's a pastor, and we've known each other since high school. We've known each other for man almost 50 years. And um, and we've been friends through through the years, but to engage each week now in accountability, and we ask each other, you know, the same questions. We already know the questions, so we just give the answers. You know, how's your thought life? How's your purity? Have you looked at anything you shouldn't be looking at? Have you masturbated? Have you um how's your relationship with your wife? Uh, are you too are you treating her like you ought to be treating her? You know, are you reading the Bible? How's your prayer life? All of those kinds of things we go through every week. Every week. And we know each other well enough to know if one of us is lying. You know, the old standard at the end of it all, have you just lied to me? You know, we don't ask that question, but I mean, we can tell. We know each other that well. And our wives know each other really well. So we have uh kind of a I don't know, there's no accountability with the wives with each other, but we we do know that each of our wives could contact each of us if they needed to, you know, raise a question of concern about us. Sure, sure.

Chris Grainger 21:06

Now, did you have that type of relationships? Like what what when you had the issue in your marriage, were you were you kind of isolated at that point, or did you have any men speaking speaking into your life then?

Brad Mitchell 21:17

No, I was isolated. Um and the isolation came in part, it's a longer story that won't dive into entirely. But um, I was pastoring at the time. I had left a church in Michigan and gone to a church out of state, uh, not terribly far from where you are, uh, but it was in South Carolina. And the nature of the situation for one of our daughters was that she needed to finish her senior year in Michigan. And so I was three weeks in South Carolina, one week back, three weeks, one week back. And so I was I was isolated. I didn't have the accountability, I didn't have people touching base with me. I was, you know, but let's be honest about that. Not let's let me be honest about this. A lot of men go through the same kind of Of isolation and they don't do what I did. There was a spirit of entitlement in me. There was a spirit of pride, I think, within me. There was some insecurities going on. There was character issues. You know, there's a lot in me that I just have to own. People go through way worse and don't do what I did. So, you know, I want to just acknowledge again, just like I said earlier, you've got to own your part. You know, and that's that's what I'm doing.

Chris Grainger 22:24

Yeah. Well, I'm so glad you you're being so transparent with the guys out there listening. And and you you put this focus in in this book around building your marriage of prayer. You you said you and your wife, this is a core area for you guys. Why do you think there's so many Christian couples? And it's just funny. Uh I got a we got one of our guys, and I pick on him all the time on the on the podcast, and he's actually been on the podcast. He's a miss he's a missionary, he works for in the mission field. And when I first met him, we were we were just talking about his marriage and how things were going. They didn't, and I think they just passed 40 something years of marriage just recently. And I asked him, I said, Well, why um how you guys praying together? What's your prayer life look like? And then he turned white as a ghost, and he was like, I don't want to talk about that. I'm like, Well, you you pray you you pray with people for a living, bro. Like, seriously, this is what you do. What you're not you're not praying with your wife? And so it was a it was a blind spot, uh, and I think it's a blind spot a lot of times in a lot of Christian couples. And I'm just curious, why why do you think that is such a blind spot for us?

Why Most Christian Couples Avoid Prayer

Brad Mitchell 23:29

Well, first of all, you nailed it, Chris. I mean, it is a blind spot. Uh, in fact, five percent, only five percent of all couples pray together. Five percent. And in ministry, only six percent. Only six percent. In ministry, only six. Only six percent of ministry couples pray together. In fact, Heidi and I were talking with a Christian leader recently, and he was sharing with us that he was once teaching um, it was a seminar or something for 50 pastors and their wives. So there's a hundred people in the room. And he it it wasn't even about prayer, but he just casually said, like, how many of you all pray together? Not one hand went up. 50 pastors, not one of them. And he said, So he took a few minutes and he talked about prayer and the importance of praying together. He said he was almost mobbed by the wives afterwards, thanking him. Now, you asked the question, why don't people pray together? I think there's a lot of reasons. Let me run through a few of them. Sure. I think one of them is um for us as men, we often feel like we want to do well. We want to be strong. We want to, you know, whatever we do, we have the kind of look at me kind of an attitude. And if we're gonna pray, we want to be good prayers. We want to be connected well with the Lord. We want to feel secure about what we're doing. And we see our wife as being more spiritual. She's been in more Bible studies, she talks more about God. She's just the one who's more connected that way and more verbal. And so, you know, that makes us feel insecure because if I'm gonna pray, I'm gonna show how little I know. And so we just clam up. We don't lead in that. Um, the other thing I think that often affect men is that we can be concerned about being judged for how we pray. You know, is this going to be weaponized? If I get vulnerable in my prayer, maybe about my relationship with one of my kids, is that gonna be brought back up in a couple of weeks? And it's sort of like, you know, I heard you praying about that two weeks ago, and look what you did, and it's nothing like what you prayed about. Obviously, you're not listening to God. So that you can feel like it's gonna be weaponized in some way. And so we hold back, either as husbands or as wives. Uh, I think sometimes it can just be the, so it's a vulnerability, it can be the insecurity. Sometimes it's just um the fact that we haven't even had it modeled for us. Like we've never seen our parents pray together. We don't know what it looks like for a husband to pray with his spouse. In fact, as men, generally when we pray, we pray quietly, silently, in our minds, in our hearts, you know, before God. So we're not even used to hearing ourselves pray out loud alone. So, let alone, you know, engaging in some way with our wife in a verbal prayer out loud, that gets, you know, troubling. Then you add in the dynamic of spiritual warfare. I mean, the statistics bear out the importance of praying together. You know, one out of every two marriages, generally, depending on where you look, generally one out of every two first marriages end in divorce. And the stats are even higher for second and third marriages. But for the couples that pray together, get this. It's one out of every 1,152. Think of that. Yeah. So if prayer just insulates your marriage so much from the world and from the enemy and really focuses the two of you on Jesus Christ and builds your marriage in a way that is rooted, grounded, strengthened in Jesus Christ with an intimacy none like none other, wouldn't the enemy do everything he can to be whispering into your mind, you know, this could get weaponized. You know, you've never prayed out loud with her before. You know, you don't really know how to pray very well out loud. And this is not going to go well. So don't even start. The enemy is going to do all he can to keep us from initiating prayer. And I think for many men, and you can speak into this, I would love to hear your thoughts about this, but I think for many men, the idea of being a spiritual leader ends up kind of like overwhelming us. We're like, I can't be the leader. She knows more than I do. And historically, it's been the wife who is the one that gets the kids to church, who makes sure everybody gets going spiritually, that makes sure that, you know, there's prayer at the mealtime or whatever it may be. And because I think for men, again, we feel that insecurity level. And one of the things I've encouraged men to do is just to be the spiritual initiator. You're still leading, you know, it's still a form of leading. But if you're the spiritual initiator, then you're the one who's going, you know what? Why don't we pray together? You know what? I think we need to make sure we're all going to church this Sunday. You know, hey, what's been happening in your life lately where you've seen God at work? You know, starting the spiritual conversations, initiating prayer, making sure the family's going to church. Those are simple things a guy can do, which don't require biblical knowledge. It's just taking the steps of initiating the spiritual influence in the home and taking that weight off of your wife so that she can rest in your initiating and your shepherding of your family spiritually.

Chris Grainger 28:23

Yeah, I think so many guys are out there and they've outsourced that role. And we've outsourced it to a pastor or an associate pastor or something, and it's nothing against that, but there is no pastor on the planet that has a spiritual leader of my own. It's me. And and and I had but I didn't think that way for the longest time. And I started disqualifying myself and having you know all these different types of your point. When you start leaning into it, the spiritual warfare doesn't get easier, it just gets harder the more and more you lean into it. So I think just being recognizing that truth for sure is a big one. And I'm so glad you talk about you know, I I wrote that down, weaponizing my prayer. You know, uh that's I get I can totally see where guys could think about it. Well, I don't know if I want to be that open and transparent with my wife, because that thing could come back and bite me in the butt here next week or so. I I'm glad you said that. I hadn't considered that before.

Brad Mitchell 29:16

You know, it's interesting too. I I want to point out though, for men, for you men, to make sure you don't do the same to your wife. Yeah, 100%. We were talking to a uh a gal recently, and she said that when she first was married and she was praying with her husband, he made fun of her prayer. And she clammed up and she didn't pray again with him for decades, you know, because of because of that one experience, and you know, kind of keeping that in mind and and also, you know, making sure that you're praying to God, not to your spouse. You know, that goes both ways. But it's not, you know, Heidi often will say things like, you know, she really cautions like wives from praying things like, Dear God, please help Brad to see how much he's hurt me and what he needs to be learning, you know, so that she's more praying at me than upward. Right. You know, make sure that it's up to the Lord and focus there. Um, that makes all the difference, right?

Chris Grainger 30:10

That's right. That's right. It's kind of like praying for her or a piano to fall on somebody. That's not the right type of prayer, you know. It's just let's get aligned on that. So, I mean, it does change the dynamic, though. I mean, it really does change the dynamic. I hadn't heard that stat about the 1000, one in one thousand. That's that's that's incredible. Because I mean, at the at the end of the day, that dynamic, you know, you're putting Christ at the center and you're being super intentional about that. I mean, any tips for guys out there that that wanna, okay, I want to get started, but you know, I'm I'm a little bit timid and nervous. I mean, what what how do you get guys over that that initial hesitation?

Brad Mitchell 30:48

Well, yeah, I've got some practical tips, but I'm just I'm gonna dive in here just for a moment on our book because we wrote the book because only 90 because 95% of couples don't pray together and they don't know how to get started. And um, so what we did in this book, and I'll just speak to you guys so you can know kind of how this is a good roadmap to get started. We wrote on 40 different topics that are all marriage related, and they're short uh chapters, they're like two or three pages. Uh, so you can read it together. And then at the end of each one of these topics, there is a prayer around that topic that is written. And we designate if the husband's supposed to pray it or the wife is supposed to pray it or if you're both supposed to be praying it. And then there's a couple of discussion

Simple Ways To Start Praying Together

Brad Mitchell 31:29

questions around that topic so you can grow deeper in your relationship. So for you guys, let me just say to get, you know, whether it's build your marriage with prayer or you get another book, you know, it's up to you. But to get something where you can just read the prayer and you start that way, then you're hearing yourself pray out loud. Your wife is hearing herself pray out loud. There's not like one of you who may be more eloquent. I mean, maybe your wife can pray for 20 minutes, you know, without like, you know, skipping a beat, and you're like, man, I have trouble just getting out 10 seconds. You know, this way it's all kind of controlled, so to speak, in a written form. And you don't have to worry about it. But you're able to begin and you're able to be the initiator. So the two of you are praying together. And then every 10 days, we have kind of an exercise to take you a little deeper in prayer, whether it's around worship or about going deeper in prayer or confession or thanksgiving, so that it's um it just makes it doable, right? It's a guidebook, is how I would look at it. It's a guidebook or a field book on prayer for guys. Uh, so that would be one example. I'll give a couple more. I would say too, that if you want to get started, even without, you know, using our book, obviously you don't need our book to begin to pray together. Uh, one of the things you can do is you can say, hey, why don't we just like start praying together and just focus on things we're thankful for? You know, maybe you say a couple things, I say a couple things, or I say a couple things, you say a couple things. And we'll just like we'll use that kind of to begin the process of prayer. And that way it stays positive, stays focused on the Lord. It's it's something that both of you can identify things you're grateful for and and leave it in this in Jesus' name, amen. And that's it. Something I started, uh, another idea, something I started a number of years ago. Uh, but okay, so we've been married 32, 42 years, been married 42 years. So probably around year 30, I started this. Is um, I thought maybe it would be nice to start the day by praying a prayer of blessing over Heidi. And so what I started doing was just taking Heidi in my arms and holding her for a couple of moments before one of us would leave for work. And I just simply prayed a very simple prayer. And any guy can pray something like this. It doesn't have to be these words, but it was just like, dear Jesus, thank you so much for Heidi. I just thank you for giving her to me as my wife. I pray your blessing on her, help her to know the nearness of your presence today, guide her in whatever, you know. I may list out what she's doing or whatever it may be, in in your errands today, just keep her safe or keep her safe at work, give her wisdom. In Jesus' name, amen. Just real simple, just a prayer of blessing, holding her in my arms. And she loved it, you know. I mean, I didn't have to be a spiritual giant and know 10 chapters of the Bible or have all kinds of scripture memorized. I just had to initiate a prayer blessing over her. And as Heidi says, for like weeks, she just received it and she would stand there and she'd be like, Thank you so much, you know, afterwards. And then finally she's like, I ought to be doing that for Brad. And so then she started praying a prayer blessing over me as well. Well, now we can't even imagine leaving each other without praying together for each other's day and praying that blessing over one another. Anyone can do that. Anybody can do that. And every one of you men, you can do this. You can do this. You just have to start. It's gonna feel awkward, right? I mean, anything we do is gonna feel awkward, whether you start a whole new workout routine or you're gonna start a new job or whatever it might be. It always feels a little awkward at the beginning. But over time, you start getting in sync with it and you start running with it, frankly. And really um, you feel the Holy Spirit blowing his winds of refreshment, as it says in Acts, into your sails, and you start soaring as a couple.

Chris Grainger 35:17

Right. 100%, guys. Lean into that. Guys, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with the Brad. Trying to find genuine resources to help grow spiritually can feel overwhelming. At least it was for me. For the longest time, the support that I was looking for didn't exist. And I knew I wasn't alone. And at the same time, God was leading me to take action. That's why we built the Lion Within Us community, which is simply a place for Christian men to grow together in an honest, practical way that's always rooted in God's word. We've made it simple. We have our daily spiritual kickoff for that little boost to get you going. We have Bible studies focusing on discerning truth and applying it. And we have a private forum where you can speak freely amongst other guys who listen. And then we have things like Friday Forge, Couples Night, where we tackle the hard items

Growing With The Lion Within Us

Chris Grainger 36:16

that guys are craving to talk about, but most face settings just refuse to explore these areas. So our community is about a growth mindset, intentionality, and transparency. Simply put, leave the mask at the door and come as you are. No perfect resume, just a willing heart and a desire to lead. I believe in what we built simply because I've seen God use it to strengthen so many men. And I'd be honored to walk alongside you. So if you're ready, visit thelionwithin.us to explore the community. Start your free trial. Look around and see how this could help you lead with clarity and courage. So your journey begins here at thelionwithin.us. I look forward to seeing you inside the den. So, Rad, you've been in the pastoral ministry, you have a long track record years and years. I'm curious, outside of prayer, any other patterns that you consistently see in marriages that help put them on a path toward success, a thriving, not just a good marriage, but a great marriage. So we're always looking for tips and ideas and things that that that you seem to be effective. Could be things for you and Heidi as well, but just any any any thoughts here?

Brad Mitchell 37:35

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, uh there's a ton of things we could go down the path of. I'll give you just some real practical things for all of us guys that you can do. One of them is date nights. I mean it sounds so simple, but it's the date nights. It's getting together, not with other friends for a date night, but just the two of you. I mean, let your wife have your 100% attention and you receive her 100% attention. It doesn't have to be expensive. I know for a lot of young couples, it can be really tough to be like, man, you know, the

Date Nights Attention And Communication Habits

Brad Mitchell 38:04

cost of babysitting now, do you know how much it costs for us to go out? Um, so it could be maybe you pay for the sitter, but you go for a walk. Or you pay for the sitter and you go to Taco Bell, you know, and get a couple of tacos, make a taco night, taco Tuesday, or whatever it might be. Just go out for tacos and you sit and you talk for an hour and just get caught up and talk about life and talk about how each other's doing and you're walk with the Lord or emotionally or friends or whatever it may be, just talk and enjoy each other's company. If you can get away once a year, man, by all means, you know, we we obviously recommend that. One of the things Heidi and I did early in our marriage was that we we traded babysitting with another couple because we couldn't afford babysitters. You know, it was just too expensive. And so uh, you know, they got the better end of the deal. They had three boys, we had a boy and a girl. So the trade-off was a little bit easier for them uh than it was for us. But we traded babysitting for a long time, just once a month. And, you know, I still look back on that as an investment that we made in our marriage. So date nights, do not neglect that. And if you're kind of feeling like you're in a rut, you're not quite sure how to build out of that rut, think through the things that you did when you were first married or when you were dating. What are the things the two of you guys really enjoyed doing where you connected? Go back and do some of those things. You know, like revisit it, bring that back in, reintroduce it so you can experience some of the joy that you experienced back then. Okay, so that's one thing. Another thing, these are real practical stuff, but I mean, another thing is the 100% attention to your spouse. Um, we're so busy with screens and with, you know, on our phones and you know, following social media or work emails or whatever it may be. Um, practice putting your phone aside, uh, putting your watch on mute, setting those things aside, don't look at them, but really be disciplined with eye contact. Uh, one of the exercises Heidi and I take couples through, we do marriage conferences all over and and love it. But when we when we teach on communication, we have couples take three minutes to just look in each other's eyes, no talking. Three minutes. Just three minutes. And it's not like a stare down where you can't blink or something, but it's amazing because the power of looking in somebody's eyes communicates so much. And we've had time and time again couples that have said to us, we have not looked in each other's eyes for that long, since I don't know when. Why? Because the speed of life. You know, there's kids and distractions and work and screens and stuff. So make sure you're focused on looking in your wife's eyes deeply. Look for what you're seeing there. Are you seeing tiredness? Are you seeing pain? Are you seeing joy? Are you seeing a longing to connect? You know, whatever it is, read her eyes and learn it well. I would say too, guys, just on the communication level, uh, two other things. One is really be attentive to your body language and your tone of voice. Sometimes, as guys, you know, we we we use one tone of voice with guys, you know, when we're playing sports or we're at work and you know, calling people out or whatever it may be. Man, tone of voice speaks volumes, literally, to your wife. So make sure you're attentive to how you're coming across and body language too. Are your arms crossed? You know, are you looking to, you know, kind of off someplace and not really focused in on her? Uh are you kind of slumped, like you're not really interested? Are you giving the sigh? You're like, when are you gonna be done? Or are you leaning in and engaged and paying attention? You communicate 93%, man, of what you communicate is tone of voice and body language. Only 7% is your words. So, really, as you're looking to invest in your marriage, make sure you're paying attention to that. And I would say too, uh, I I go to James, where where in James it says, you know, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. Men, I'm just telling you, memorize that verse. Memorize that verse. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. You will eliminate 90% of all marital conflicts if you do that. You know, if you bring in an element of curiosity, and you you instead of firing back your answer, you know, with whatever you've loaded into the chamber in your mind, you know, and firing something off, instead engage with like, wow, tell me more. That's interesting. I'm curious about that. Wow. So what happened next? You know, whatever it is, bring in that curiosity and the listening. And A, it will create not only less conflict in marriage, not all conflict, but less. But it'll also create a deeper connection with your wife. Yeah. And I don't mean just her with you, but you with her. And a deeper appreciation for what she's thinking, what she's feeling, where she's going. Um, those are huge. Absolutely.

Chris Grainger 43:01

I think that James verse we should all get probably get tattooed on our forearms, guys. I mean, that's definitely that's a massive one. You know, I actually talked that last night. I was teaching at our church and I pulled that verse out for the guys. I was thinking, because it's just, I mean, that's it's it's what it's gotta be a staple go-to for us for sure. Um I I deal with a lot of guys, Brad, that that they're feeling emotionally distant or disconnected with their spouse right now. Some of them are on the on the brink of divorce, and you know, I try to work with them and really try to point to their life. When you get guys like that and they're maybe the their marriage is on the fritz. Um what how how do you guide them and direct them into to that first steps of reconnection?

Brad Mitchell 43:47

Wow. Well, you know, it's interesting as you said that, Chris. One of the things that I thought about was uh a lot of guys disconnect from their wives. And I'm I'm not taking anything away from the wife disconnecting from her husband. I don't want To at all absolve that and put all the blame on men because a lot of times as men we can feel beat up and like it's always our fault and I don't want to make that statement, obviously. Um, but a lot of times I think that sometimes that disconnection can happen because perhaps

Reconnecting When You Feel Distant

Brad Mitchell 44:14

we've been focusing on pornography for our connection, and it recreates more of a distance in our relationship with our wife. Uh, or because there's a distance with our wife, we then lean into pornography because we're looking for some kind of a pleasure hit, dopamine hit, something that is obviously not honoring to Christ. It's not living the pure life, and it actually ends up perpetuating that distance. So, one thing I would just encourage guys to do, I'm not blaming, I'm just saying, guys, if you're feeling a distance from your wife, really do a quick heart check. Make sure that there's not some other avenue you're going off to other than Jesus to get your fulfillment. So that would be the first thing is focus in on your walk with Jesus and make sure that you're living with your wife in an understanding way. Second thing in that disconnection would I, you know, I go back to that whole thing of what like what's her love language? Make sure that you're speaking her love language, not your love language. What's, you know, as we hear from so many wives that their husband is they're they're distracted, they're focused on their work, they're focused on the kids. It may be that they're like so focused on the kids when they come home because you know the kids' playmate is home and statty that they're not even focused on their wife. Here's one thing I will say for you men who uh still have kids at home and even little kids. One of the things Heidi and I implemented early in our marriage, and frankly, the way it came about was Heidi had to help me to learn this, uh, was she needed to connect with me before the kids connected with me. And so we implemented a 20-minute rule that when I came home, I would say hi to the kids. I didn't ignore them, but we made sure they knew that the first 20 minutes belonged to mommy. And um, and so even when our youngest couldn't retell time, we had a digital clock, and we said, when you get to these two numbers, daddy's all yours, right? And so we would step away, maybe in the kitchen, maybe in the bedroom or something, and we'd have a time to touch base. And sometimes it would be like, I know our son seems like he's really sweet right now. He has not been sweet. And let me tell you what he's been doing so I can get kind of the lay of the land for what was going on at home. Or she would just be able to hear about my day. And and you know, I would also say for you guys in that download time, whatever it is, and whatever it is, you know, whether it's that first 20 minutes or whatever it is, really refrain from giving yes-no answers. You know, if she says, How was your day? Give a little bit, give her a high and a low. You know, just kind of oh, here was the high point of my day, here's the low point of my day. So she has a window and a snapshot because she wants to connect with you. I mean, she wants that connection. So lean into it and provide it as much as you possibly can.

Chris Grainger 46:53

Amen. Great, great practical tips right there. Guys, we're gonna take our last break. We'll come back and finish up with Brad. If there's one habit that can change a home, it's this when a husband prays with his wife, not because it's a magic formula, but because it recenters your marriage under God's authority and care. And let's be honest, a lot of guys want to do it, but most don't know how to start without it feeling awkward. Maybe you've tried it before and it felt forced, or maybe you've never tried it because you don't even know what to say. Or maybe you're thinking, Man, I'm not a pastor, I'm just a guy. And that's why we created this guide. It's our how to pray with your wife. It's a simple guide. It's biblical, it's practical, and it's designed to help you start praying with your wife in a way that actually feels natural. So it's a five-section guide, and it gives you a simple framework to get started. Okay, it makes sure everything is grounded in scripture, and it also has a powerful PDF that you can pull up whenever you need, especially

How To Pray With Your Wife Guide

Chris Grainger 47:56

when things get off, because they're gonna get off. That's normal. So this is all about reclaiming your marriage and reclaiming the spiritual leadership reigns of your home. Because praying with your wife is one of the strongest ways to fight for unity, to build trust, and to right to ship when life starts to pull you off a course. So if you're ready, get access today at the lionwithin.usguides. That's the lionwithin.us slash guides, and start unleashing the line within at home by leading your marriage through prayer. Well, Rad, I'm curious from from for you. If I could give you a magic power, and magic power is this, you get five minutes across from every married couple out there on the planet. Like so you just get five minutes with them. What's the one thing you're gonna urge them to start really leaning into and start doing today?

Brad Mitchell 48:53

Well, the reality would be our our key topic for the day, and that is pray together. I mean, husbands and wives, you know, if I'm sitting across from you and just like, well, I just think about that missionary friend of yours when you asked your missionary buddy, like, you know, how's your prayer life? And he's like, turned white as a sheet, and he's like, Yeah, I don't know, let's talk about something else. You know, the reality is we're not we're not praying together. And so, husbands and wives, whatever it takes for you to to become able to come before the throne of your heavenly father and as as one, united, you know, as one flesh, and to pray, that's going to be the best

The One Practice Every Couple Needs

Brad Mitchell 49:29

thing you can possibly do. The best thing you can do. I mean, we talk so much in our society that intimacy comes through sex and it does. Okay. Not taken away from that. Intimacy comes through communication and it does. But the greatest intimacy, the greatest intimacy that you can share as a husband and wife is the intimacy of prayer. And that spills over into your sex life. It's and I mean exponentially, it spills over into your communication, it spills over into your parenting, it spills over into your friendships, it spills over into your conflict management. Like, for example, I'm talking about conflict management. When Heidi and I will have a disagreement, you know, a couple of couple of ways we handle that. One is sometimes we'll separate for an hour or two, or maybe 24 hours, and we'll just agree to pray about it. Sometimes we'll come before God together and we'll say, Lord, we don't know what to do about this. This is a area of conflict. We just are trying to figure this out. And, you know, ultimately the answer we see coming is coming from God. It's not like we had to power up on each other to get the answer or overconvince each other to get the answer. You know, when we get the resolution, whatever that resolution is, uh then we recognize, okay, God, we can see the answer, and we just are united about that as coming from you. The other thing to recognize is 69% of all marital conflicts are never resolved. So learning how to live in that dissonance of unresolved conflict in a marriage is key. And the way you do that is by continuing to keep your focus on the Lord and not on each other. So, you know, if I'm sitting across from you and I've got five minutes and I do, I'm just telling you, as a husband and wife, you've got to come together in prayer. It is the best, most important thing you can ever do. Amen.

Chris Grainger 51:18

Amen. And Brad, we always thank you for all your wisdom, your discernment, your insights here. We always like to wrap up our episodes with the lightning round. Just a fun, just some fun questions to end with. So if you're willing to play, we'll jump right into it. Here we go. I'll do my best. Here we go. There you go. There you go. It's all good. We haven't lost a patient yet, so you're good to go. Uh and what's your favorite hobby?

Brad Mitchell 51:41

What do you enjoy doing for fun? Well, travel, as I mentioned earlier, would probably be my favorite hobby. I love golf, uh, but it's time and money. You know, those are the two things that get a little uh hard. And I love being outdoors. Anything outdoors, and especially by water, those would be the fun, happy places. My goal this year, actually, interestingly enough, it might sound very, very shallow. But for me, you know, just with the pace of life, you know, we all have busy lives and stress and things. I realize that I am refreshed and restored outdoors. And so my goal this year is to be

Lightning Round Travel Books And Life

Brad Mitchell 52:13

outside as much as I possibly can. Um, even if it's just sitting outside, watching the world go by, just be outside is my goal. Amen.

Chris Grainger 52:22

Well, you mentioned travel, obviously, is near and dear to your heart. You shared earlier what's on your bucket list of where to go. What's the greatest place that you've been so far?

Brad Mitchell 52:31

Okay, well, I mean, Israel, I'd have to say immediately, Ivy and I just finished uh just like eight days. We got out of Israel eight days before the bombing began in Iran. Um, and we were over there. It was our third trip, but we were leading a trip of law enforcement. We're co-leading a trip of law enforcement uh spouses and husbands and spouses from Southern California. And so that would be the best place, would be Israel. You got to go to the Holy Land if you can. Um, and then I would say the other place for me would be New Zealand. Um, that was crazy. It was you you can kind of see the whole world in New Zealand. They've got beaches, palm trees, mountains. I mean, it's all right there. So it was it was huge. And I absolutely love New Zealand.

Chris Grainger 53:11

That's awesome. What about your favorite? So out of all those trips, favorite food? Like what what what food comes back to mind? You wish you could go back and get that today.

Brad Mitchell 53:20

Oh man. Uh see, I love well, Heidi and I love Mediterranean food. This if I'm picking my favorite food where I've been, it would be the Mediterranean kind of stuff. You know, what you get over there. That would be my favorite food. My all-time favorite food. I'm gonna go there because you didn't ask it, but I'm gonna go there. It's it's between Chinese and Indian. Uh love both. Just love it.

Chris Grainger 53:43

There you go.

Brad Mitchell 53:44

Okay, awesome. What's uh what's a book you've been that you've read recently? Okay. Right now I'm reading a book that I'm really loving. It's by R. T. Kendall. It's called The Anointing. And um, it's really interesting because he talks about how many people in ministry or just in their lives are living on the past anointing from the Holy Spirit, but they've since kind of walked away from the Lord, but they're just living kind of on the resting on their laurels, so to speak, uh, instead of really living present, leaning into the Holy Spirit and experiencing God's continual indwelling and infilling. And so that's that's the book I'm leaning into right now.

Chris Grainger 54:21

Love it. What's a perfect date night look like for you and Heidi?

Brad Mitchell 54:25

Yeah. Oh man. Um for me and Heidi to have a good date night, it's to go out for dinner. We love going out to eat and just focusing on conversation with each other. Um, we often our date nights are just ice cream because we love ice cream. So that's that's a date night. And if it ends up finishing up in the bedroom, that's a really good date night from both of our perspective. It doesn't always end up that way, but I'll have to have to add that in there as well.

Chris Grainger 54:52

There you go. There you go. We look over the last 12 months or so. What would you spend too much time doing, Brad?

Brad Mitchell 55:00

Mm-mm. Boy, that's a hard one. Holy cow. Uh I think okay, I'm just gonna have to I'm gonna have to pull something out, otherwise you're gonna have a ton of dead air. Um I spent too much time working. Uh Heidi and I would say the same thing. Just we've not learned the good rhythm yet of like rest and relaxation. You know, I talked about travel and all that, and we do that, but as far as in the daily rhythm, I think that's why being outdoors is so important for me right now. Yeah. Is because, you know, I'm I'm just kind of a at a pace where, you know, I'm in full-time pastoral ministry and full-time build your marriage ministry. And you know, just finding that rhythm of rest is something I'm still striving for and figuring out, and I've got to do that.

Chris Grainger 55:54

I know. What's your favorite thing about God?

Brad Mitchell 56:02

Well, in light of the story that we shared earlier, I would have to say his mercies that are new every morning and his faithfulness. If I lean into Lamentations three, you know, uh his mercies every single morning when I wake up. It's not judgment, it's not harshness, it's not criticism, it's the mercies of a God who loves me as his son and who wraps his arms around me and and tenderly cares for my soul.

Chris Grainger 56:32

Absolutely. Let's go 180. What's your least favorite thing about Satan?

Brad Mitchell 56:39

His relentlessness. You know, he doesn't give up. One of the things, you know, I shared our story earlier. One of the things somebody said to me that I think is so right is that Satan has been studying the game films of my life all my life. And he knows every weakness, every tendency, every, you know, every thing that I might lean into. And so he does his very best to relentlessly set up the perfect storm to trip me up, take me down. And men, he does that to you too, for every single one of us. And we need to be aware of that, be aware of that. You know, just as you're studying anybody, you know, Sun Sioux said, You got to know your enemy. Well, we need to know our enemy. You know, we don't focus on our enemy, we focus on Jesus. But you got to know your enemy. And he is relentless in his attacks. He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. And so be aware of that and be on guard. Now don't think you can't fall. You can. And that's why we are on our guard. That's why we have each other. That's why, as men, we're iron-sharpening iron. That's why we need accountability. That's why we need community. It's because Satan wants you to think that you're alone and you're not alone. That's why the lion within is so important. You are not alone. You've got other guys who are standing in the gap for you.

Chris Grainger 57:51

Amen to that. Amen. Well, Brad, last question for you. What do you think? What would be one thing that you hope the listeners remember the most from our conversation today?

Brad Mitchell 57:59

That more than anything else, the important thing they can do is to pray with their wife. You've got to pray with your wife. Do not just poo-poo it as just something to check the box or someday get around to. You have got to make sure that you are initiating prayer with your wife, no matter how hard it may seem. Get a guidebook like Build Your Marriage with Prayer, that'd be great. Uh, but if you and it's on Amazon, but but I mean, if you don't get that, I mean, do something. Wrap her in your arms and say, baby, every day I'm just gonna say a prayer blessing over you. Just start with that. And and trust me, trust me, believe me. And Chris, you'll affirm this. It's the best thing you can do.

Chris Grainger 58:34

Amen to that. Where do you want to send the listeners to connect with you, Brad, for your ministries, all the wonderful things you're doing.

Brad Mitchell 58:40

Yeah, thanks. Uh, just go to buildyourmarriage.org, just buildyourmarriage.org, and you can get, you know, all of our blogs and stuff, but there's a tab there that says books, and you have to see all of our books that we've written. And you can just click through. It'll take you right to the right Amazon link uh to get uh whichever one, whatever it is you're looking for.

Chris Grainger 58:59

Amen. Well, Brad, this has been an honor having you on. Thank you so much for being so transparent. This is this is a lot of fun.

Brad Mitchell 59:04

Yeah, you're I've had a blast. Thank you. It's been so much fun. Thank you for letting me be part of it and way to go in your ministry with man. I just celebrate what you're doing.

Chris Grainger 59:13

Thank you, brother. You have a wonderful day. You too. All right, guys. I told you that's gonna be a great one. So thankful for Brad for coming on and for being transparent. Question of week this week is where are you tempted to give up instead of fighting? Look, fellas, I talked to so many guys and they're just at the end of their ropes. They feel like their marriage just can't be restored. I'm telling you, that's a lie from a pit of hill. There is hope. There is hope, and it's found in Christ. When we put our hope in him and we submit our marriages to him, when we stop trying to fix it on our own and say, Lord, I don't know how to do this. But I know you didn't set this up for failure. You you you designed marriage, therefore, show me what your way is going to be. And we talked about that a lot with Brad. So hopefully you'll be encouraged, okay? And look, if you still need support, for sure, check out Brad's resources, build, build your marriage. Check out the lion's den. We have the husband support group, or we have the couples night once a month. We have all the resources there for you guys. We have at the lion uh a little guide I put together,

Question Of The Week And Resources

Chris Grainger 1:00:12

I think last year. It's called How to Pray with Your Wife. That's that's what it's called, how to pray with your wife. And it's so super simple. It's a little PDF, guys, but so many guys have downloaded that thing, and it's just a great little reference, just a tool to help you grow this area. Okay, because I know it can be intimidating. We're gonna make it easy for you. We want to help you simplify and supply even these areas of your life, okay? All right, guys. So give us a rating review if you don't mind. Thelion within.us is where you find all our resources. Go check it out there. Uh, daily search of kick off, the lions then, our leadership mastermind. Go to the Bible app and open up the Bible app and search for the Lion within us and find all the wonderful plans that we have on the Bible app that are there to serve you. Okay, you may really be enjoying them, particularly the I'm just a God plans. Guys are absolutely just eating those things up every day. So hopefully you'll be encouraged with those along the way, okay? Fellas, thank you so much for listening. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for listening. Check out the website. If you want to be a partner with us, you can go to the linewithin.uslash donate. We would love to have your support. This work is hard, this but this work matters, okay? So if you want to come alongside, again, we're 600 something plus episodes out there now. We got guys that are joining the daily SKO. We're we're writing these things for the Bible app. We've got so many things that God's just opening some new doors for us. We don't not ready to talk about them yet, but God is moving. And look, fellas, we just need your support. So highly encourage you to check us out, thelionwithin.us. So have a great day. We'll see you on Friday for our member spot flight. And remember, just keep unleashing the lion within. It's time to stop battling pornography, lust, and temptation alone. We're done sitting on the sidelines, seeing shame win, and hearing from guys that are fighting private wars with no backup. So we decided it's time to fight back. We have our sexual integrity support group, which is a confidential space inside the lion's den for men who are ready to step into the light and pursue real freedom. This isn't just for guys in crisis, by the way. It's for any man who's tired of the cycle, who's tired of living in secret, who's tired of saying this is gonna be the last time. Look, most guys don't need another app or some rules. They need some brothers to come alongside them to say you're not the only one. This doesn't define you. And freedom is possible. So look, inside our group, you're gonna find a confidential, judgment-free forum to engage and

Sexual Integrity Group And Final Sendoff

Chris Grainger 1:02:42

ask questions. You'll have honest conversations without condemnation. And you'll also have a monthly call with a trusted guide. So look, this isn't just about stopping pornography, it's about becoming a man of integrity, a man aligned, a man who lives in freedom, not secrecy. And you don't have to clean yourself up first to come. You just have to step in. So our sexual integrity support group is found inside the lion's den. And you can start that today with a 30 day free trial. So if you're ready to stop fighting alone and need that extra support, start your 30 day free trial right now at thelionwithin.us. That's thelionwithin.us, and step inside the lion's den.