Chris Grainger: 1:43

Welcome to The Line within us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders, God intends you to be. I'm your host, Chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, fellas, meet episode time. Let's get into it, okay? So scripture week this week is Psalm 142, the fourth verse. Look and see. There's no one at my right hand. No one is concerned for me. I have no refuge. No one cares for my life. Guys, that's a powerful verse. And I took some time to unpack that in our spiritual kickoff episode this week. Go back one of your podcast feed if you want to listen to that and just try to think and see how that can be simplified and applied to your life. As a reminder, Monday through Friday, do this uh spiritual kickoff that we called it a daily spiritual kickoff or the daily SKO. We love our acronyms, right? So I think you can find all that at thelionwithin.us. Get started for free. That's an easy way to get plugged in with us, guys. From there, you may want to move up to the Lion's Den community. We have lots of things that are happening there each and every week, as well as support groups. We have a husband support group that's out there now, fellas, really leaning in and trying to grow those areas because I feel like that's the more and more guys that I'm talking to, and it's a lot, guys, everybody's heard it. Everyone's feeling lonely. Everybody's got something that they're battling, and you don't have to battle it alone. Do not battle it alone, okay? And speaking of being alone, I wrote a plan called I'm Just a Guy Who Feels Alone. And I feel like it's important to share this on the podcast because sometimes we just feel it, don't we? We're surrounded by people, yet we feel completely invisible. And I'm not talking about physical isolation either. No. This is the quiet ache that sometimes says, Does anybody see me or hear me? Does anybody care? We just need to recognize that God does. Right? And he hasn't designed you to carry life on your own. No. So we're going to dive into some scripture. We're going to think about this loneliness and isolation and how we can move from isolation to godly connection and purpose. Again, we talked about in the spiritual kickoff episode this this ache that's real about being unseen. And I gotta I gave you guys a little bit of a story of how that's impacted me in a church setting and things like that. And uh ultimately, guys, uh we from that from that one verse in Psalm 142, we just need to remember that we are seen by God. Even in our quiet, when when things are at the worst, he sees us. And if we keep moving through scripture, um, we're seeing John 8.44, Jesus is talking, he's talking about the evil. He says, when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and a father of lies. And with loneliness, often is coupled lies, right? And you've heard me say that isolation is enemy of excellence, and that's right. And uh I found myself when I was writing this devotion, uh, that that one the day I was writing this particular day, I had been stood up by a few meetings. Like people just didn't show, and it happens from time to time. I mean, there's there's reasons and things. Some of them weren't legitimate, some of them they just don't. Um, but instead of like seeing that, oh, okay, this person didn't show up to a meeting. Now I have free time to do this other stuff. What did I do? Uh I started spiraling. I started thinking I'm worthless, or or no one wants to spend why would anybody want to spend time with you? Or you're a failure or you're a fraud. Does that sound familiar? I'm pretty sure it does, guys. It does, guys, because I mean I talked to enough guys to recognize these things are common. And I've learned that once the negative thoughts start rolling in, they don't just stop. So one lie leads to another. And before you know it, there's a runaway train of despair that is dragging me deeper into isolation.

SPEAKER_00: 5:28

And the hard part is I can see the stinking lies forming in real time. And yet they still, like in that moment, I struggle to stop them.

Chris Grainger: 5:41

That's why Jesus, man, when when he talks about John 8 and John 8 here, his words are so grounding. He doesn't sugarcoat the enemy's tactics. No, he says, look, straight up, bro, Satan's a liar. He's a liar. Deception is his native language. And when those shame-filled thoughts start invading it, we got to trace them back to their source and call them out what they are. And I found myself, I did a funny little exercise. I was wondering, you know what? What if Satan had a LinkedIn profile? You know, everybody presents the best, the best on the LinkedIn, right? So if Satan had a LinkedIn profile, it probably sounds something like this, okay? A visionary strategist with millennia of experience helping people unlock their truest potential, specializing in reframing limitations as opportunities and offering alternative paths to self-fulfillment. Tell you, bro, when you go to LinkedIn, you can see awesome people, and people love to talk by themselves, right? Does this sound familiar? His lies don't sound wicked right there. They don't. They sound empowering, in fact. So you'll see versions of that language plastered across all sorts of profiles and platforms today. You do.

SPEAKER_00: 6:52

Now, let's reframe his about section from the truth drawn from John 8. Here's what it would look like.

Chris Grainger: 7:02

A disguised deceiver with a long track record of destruction, an expert in twisting truth just enough to sound good. He's known for whispering half truths, encouraging compromise, and repackaging rebellion as freedom. My offers sound empowering, but they're poisoned at the core. I promise freedom and deliver slavery. I want your allegiance more than your attention. And if I can keep you distracted, bitter, puffed up, or despairing, mission accomplished. It occurs to me, thinking through it this, that the longer we're isolated, the more we're tempted to believe the lies that fuel our anger or our pride. And in Satan's LinkedIn profile, it's this made-up stuff, God. I just made this stuff up. But we get to see a glimpse of a version of that, right? And our goal as believers is to recognize that the most like that most of the language that the evil one is going to use is an attempt to remake the world so it appears the way which he wishes and not the truth that God desires that we walk in. And recognize this, recognizing rather the source of lies is crucial. And his strategy is subtle, but it is thinking persistent. If he can't isolate you, he's going to discourage you. And if he can discourage you, he'll derail you. So here's a filter that we can think about. Okay. If a thought about ourselves contradicts God's word, it's coming from the father of lies. And when that happens, the best weapon we have as men is to speak truth out loud, if necessary, over that lie. Because your worth, your identity, your value are not up for negotiation. They've already been established by the one who never lies. And that needs to be the lead conversation in our minds today. So think about this. What truths from Scripture do you need to start countering today's biggest lie that you're believing? Think about that, fellas. So look, we're going to take our first break, we'll come back, we'll keep digging into this together. We'll be right back. If there's one habit that can change a home, it's this when a husband prays with his wife, not because it's a magic formula, but because it recenters your marriage under God's authority and care. And let's be honest, a lot of guys want to do it, but most don't know how to start without it feeling awkward. Maybe you've tried it before and it felt forced, or maybe you've never tried it because you don't even know what to say. Or maybe you're thinking, man, I'm not a pastor, I'm just a guy. And that's why we created this guide. It's our how to pray with your wife. Simple guide. It's biblical, it's practical, and it's designed to help you start praying with your wife in a way that actually feels natural. So it's a five-section guide and it gives you a simple framework to get started. Okay, it makes sure everything is grounded in scripture, and it also has a powerful PDF that you can pull up whenever you need, especially when things get off, because they're gonna get off. That's normal. So this is all about reclaiming your marriage and reclaiming the spiritual leadership reigns of your home. Because praying with your wife is one of the strongest ways to fight for unity, to build trust, and to write the ship when life starts to pull you off a course. So if you're ready, get access today at the lionwithin.us slash guides. That's the lionwithin.us slash guides, and start unleashing the lion within at home by leading your marriage through prayer. All right, guys. So we know he is the evil one, is really good at lying. Now let's think about this. We are created for brotherhood. Because in Ecclesiastes 4, verses 9 and 10 it says, two are better than one. If either of them falls down, the other one can help the other up, right? So think about for me, after high school, um, my core group of buddies just drifted apart. We did. And over the next two decades after that, I really poured a lot of myself into many important areas of life, you know, the things that we all do, build a career, get married, being a father. And those responsibilities naturally took center stage because they should, you know. But then after I walked through the pain of divorce, and then I walked through the heartbreaking loss of a child, of losing a child, rather, um, I came face to face with a sobering truth. Something was missing of significance in my life. And when I looked around, I recognized I didn't have any true brothers in Christ to walk through these dark valleys with. I had plenty, you know, what I call bank hour friends. You guys know that's all right. They're happy to chat when it's convenient for them, uh, so long as it doesn't disrupt their routine, you know. So kind of nine to five. I'm good, I'm good right there. But when I really reflected and thought deeply, I saw that those meaningful relationships with other men were just absent in my life. Even within my church uh men's group that we had, everything just felt surface level. When conversations started veering into deeper, more vulnerable territory, the kind that really leads to growth, most guys would retreat. Now, not all of them.

SPEAKER_00: 12:41

There are a couple of them that mean so much to me. But this caused me at that time to begin asking myself why that was. And the answer was painfully clear.

Chris Grainger: 12:59

We're all wired with the undeniable tendency towards self-preservation, right? And to truly love others, to listen, to understand, support, it takes energy. And for most guys, the juice just ain't worth the squeeze, bro. I mean, it just ain't there, right? And I used to believe that surface-level friendships were enough. Because I mean, after all, it takes time to invest in something deeper. But scripture challenged that thinking. And eventually I had to stop making excuses and face this gaping hole that was in my life. Because I knew that it needed to be filled, not with more distractions, but with real brotherhood. And that brought me to a scarier question. How do I build genuine relationships like that? How do you do it? And then God clearly just laid it on my heart. And he says, first be that man for someone else. And from that moment on, my prayer shifted. I began to ask God, okay, show me, show me, who are the men around me that are hurting? Who are the men around me that are alone? Who are the men around me that need someone to walk with them? Sure enough, they started showing up. And I quickly discovered they were longing for the same connection I've been missing. And from those humble beginnings, things started to shift. That really laid a huge role in the birth of the lion within us. Because I'm convinced that the enemy despises it when brothers in Christ lock arms, stand together, push back against his lies. He hates it. So I'm telling you, if you're in a season right now where you feel isolated, don't panic, bro. Don't panic. Start praying. Ask God to reveal to you the men around you who need someone to stand in the gap. Start serving with them, right? That's a great way. Just start serving with them. And when your focus shifts from your internal lack, like what's missing, to outward service, man, things are going to start moving. Because brotherhood doesn't just happen, it is built. So start thinking right now, who are the men in your life that truly know what you're carrying? Does anybody know what you're carrying? I found it interesting at the Lion within our community. Guys are so willing to bring up their struggles and their and their prayer requests and just be genuine and authentic. And that doesn't happen, fellas. It just doesn't happen. But it's happening there. And I I give one credit. God. God has his hand on what things are happening right there, fellas. So if you're isolated right now, if you're alone, if even if this podcast is speaking to you, go check out our resources. I'm telling you. So look, we're gonna take a quick break, come back, we'll keep digging into this idea of loneliness. Let's just say it out loud. Marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God can give a man. And one of the most consistent places where we can feel unsure of what we're doing. Even the strongest marriages have moments where you look at your wife and you think, you know what? I love you. I'm so committed to you. But right now, I have no idea what I should do next. And that's why we launch something new inside the line within us community. It's our very first support group, and it's for husbands. And we're calling it committed and occasionally confused. This isn't just a place for men in crisis. Though if you're there, hey, you're welcome. This is for any man who refuses to coast and wants to take his marriage from good to great. So inside you'll find an active chat and a feed, honest conversations, and brotherhood that says, you're not alone. We've been there. Let's bring this to God and grow. And we're also doing a monthly couples night where your wife is invited because we're not letting the world set the agenda for our homes. Now, if you want access to this support group, it's very simple. Go to thelionwithin.us and join the Lions Den. Okay, that's thelionwithin.us. Start your 30-day free trial of the Lions Den community, and boom, you have instant access to the committed and occasionally confused support group. We'll see you inside the den. Alright, guys. We recognize a couple things. Father lies, Satan's out there trying to lie all the time. We're created for brotherhood. And we need to recognize one more thing. Jesus knows what it's like. In Isaiah 53, he says he was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Right? Rejection, fellas, we're we're all open to it. And it doesn't get easier for age as you get older, rather. At least it hadn't got easier for me. Because when God called our farm, our family to lead the subdivision life and plant roots on this small farm we live on now, my world got turned upside down. One unexpected challenge was losing access to my garage gym. Okay. And we had plenty at the farm, we had plenty of places and barns, but we but we didn't have really a good place to work out. And thankfully, my neighbor had built a home gym and he invited me to uh go for regular workouts, and it was great. And the workouts were weren't just physically beneficial, but they were building something deeper. Uh, we had a really good brotherhood in Christ. Then out of nowhere, seemingly something shifted and and the workout stopped. And he didn't want to do them anymore. And I tried to understand, but the message was clear. That door was just closed. Uh sadly, in many ways, the friendship was too. And that moment of rejection just stuck with me and it hurt big time. Uh while we're cordial today, and and and we'll shake hands, and I have not nothing bad to say about each other, I don't think. But there's there's a distance between us, and it lingers, and it's just sad. I hate it because I was so excited for it. But what when I was reflecting on that season, something really hit me about how rejection by someone we care about can shake us and shake our sense of worth out of us. Because I spent a lot of time looking in the mirror and battling condemning thoughts of of course that guy cut me off. If I could see what he saw, maybe I would have cut me off too, right? And maybe you had experiences like that. I don't know if you have. If you have, I hope you this may be resonating. But one thing that is maybe comforting to think about is to realize that Jesus went through the same thing. Because it's easy to think about Jesus' ministry and look at the highlight reel. You know, he's raising dead, he was healing sick, and he was walking on out of the tomb, walking on the water. I mean, there's lots of hanging on the rim poster moments for Jesus. But there's another side to the story that you read as well. Mr. Rejection. The crowds turned on him. But even more piercing than that, when you think about it, was Peter's denial. Not Judas. Like he was supposed to, he we knew he was going to betray him, but Peter, one of his boys, Peter, James, and John. You know, I talk about all the time. Like that, that was his homies, right? He was like, all right, get in the trouble, boys, let's go.

SPEAKER_00: 20:20

And Jesus knew, think about this for a second. Jesus knew that Peter would deny him. And I can't help but wonder, did that sting a little more? When that rooster crowed, even though he knew it was gonna crow, did it sting a little more?

Chris Grainger: 20:39

And just picture it. I mean, Jesus is bound, he's being led away to his death. And within an earshot, his best friend is disowning him.

SPEAKER_00: 20:48

Not once, not twice, three times.

Chris Grainger: 20:54

And the more I think about that moment, the more peace I have, more rejection hits me in my journey. Because we don't serve a distant God. We serve a savior who's walking the path of sorrow and betrayal. He's done that. He's been there. You know, he's got the t-shirt, right? And for me, some of the hardest questions that I've had to wrestle with was did I do something wrong? And that's a worthy question worth asking. It's it's worth reflection. There's humility in being willing to examine our hearts in action by asking that question.

SPEAKER_00: 21:31

And when we ask it, we come to a fork in the road. One path says, Yep, we may have done something wrong, right?

Chris Grainger: 21:40

And in that case, we better ask for forgiveness, right? Or learn from it, own it up and grow from it, right?

SPEAKER_00: 21:49

But in some cases, like with my friend, and certainly with Jesus, I can't point to one thing that was done.

Chris Grainger: 21:58

It's it's hard. And that leads us, and that leads us to the second path, and admittedly, it's easier for it's easier for Jesus than it is for me. We just gotta accept it. We just gotta accept that sometimes people are working through their own struggles, wounds, and stories. Their rejection of you may have more to do with their journey than anything you have done. And in those moments, our role is not to fix or convince them. You just gotta love them. To care anyway. Even when it's hurt, even when it's not returned. So, whatever the hurt or rejection you're feeling right now, the pain, Jesus doesn't just understand it. He's standing with you in it. And when everybody else is walking away and turning their back on you, he's staying.

SPEAKER_00: 22:50

So have you thought about when's the last time you felt deeply rejected or hurt by someone that you trusted? How did that make you feel? And did the words here in John A encourage you? Because I really hope they do.

Chris Grainger: 23:08

That's the whole point. So we're gonna take our last break, we'll be right back, and we're gonna finish up this thought of I'm just a guy who feels alone. If you've ever opened the Bible and had the thought, where do I even start? Brother, you're not alone. I've had those moments all too often. And I found that having a guide was helpful. And that's why we created the I'm just a guide series on the Bible app. They're short, they're honest, and they help you read scripture. Scripture and walk it out. And these plants speak to the real stuff that we're wrestling with as men, like marriage, anxiety, loneliness, shame, pornography, and so much more do this all without pretending or piling on a bunch of self-help nonsense. And lots of guys are using them in their small groups, and they're helping to spark honest conversations and take simple next steps in their discipleship journey. So if that sounds helpful, check them out at thelinewithin.us slash u versions. That's Y-O-U-D-E-R-S-I-O-N. Or just open up your Bible app and search for the Lion Within Us. And it's my hope that these reflections will encourage you in just a few minutes and help you walk with him all day long. Alright, guys. Hopefully you've enjoyed walking through this. I definitely have had, I just enjoy unpacking these with you. But we need to think if you're a guy who feels alone, how can we transition from this isolation we're feeling to a mission? Okay. Now in Romans 12, the apostle Paul tells us, so in Christ, we, though many, form one body where each member belongs to the to all the others. And one of the greatest weapons against loneliness, I'm telling you, it's got it works 100% of the times. Serve others. Serve others. At the Lion, we've had the privilege of coordinating several mission trips, and each one has been life-changing, fellas. Okay. And the very first was in response to Hurricane Helene. And what I witnessed just broke my heart. I remember driving to the camp where we'd be staying. I was nervous. I was really nervous. I was nervous as a cat in a room from the rocket chairs. It was just crazy. And I was anticipating, I wasn't sure what to expect. Because this was uncharted territory. But something started shifting on that trip. When I gave myself fully, I mean fully to just serving others, that internal focus that normally governed my decisions faded away. It faded away. Because I was swept up into a mission that was far greater than myself. And the people that we helped, they radiated with love and gratitude for even the smallest little thing we would have helped them with. And that type of joy in the midst of devastation is extremely humbling, guys. It's extremely humble. I mean, one of the most sobering moments came when we arrived at a site and we were told they needed help. When we got there, I'm going to tell you what, it was crazy. It was like a third world country, wreckage. Entire homes were leveled. All that could be done was just clear the debris and start rebuilding. Because I brought chainsaws and all the stuff, you know, the equipment to hopefully help people put in good use.

SPEAKER_00: 26:40

But in this place, it was completely destroyed.

Chris Grainger: 26:46

And leaving that section of where the hurricane hit gave me more than a perspective on the storm, and such a deeper perspective, rather, on the storm's impact. It shook me into an awareness of how fragile life is, first and foremost. Because too often my loneliness morphs into just like this pity party, if I'm honest. But when you're standing in the rubble of someone else's loss, like their whole life, everything is gone, it will recalibrate your spiritual eyes. And it will help you understand what truly matters. And what struck me was this under different circumstances, like if this was a business settings, other people would be paid to perform these kinds of services. Yet in this situation, there was no money, there was no financial incentive, right? And you might expect that that lead to some resentful thoughts or people that were on our team should be like, well, man, we should be getting paid for this. Nope. Complete opposite. Completely opposite. It felt good to serve because these people, they're my people. It was actually my state, my country. And there's a deep sense of moral responsibility here. Because it's not transactional, it's relational. And I believe fully that the people that we helped would do the same for me. And Romans 12, 5 reminds us that in Christ, we belong to one another. We're many, but we form one body. Yes. And when one part moves in love, the whole body benefits, buddy. So you don't have to wait for disaster to begin serving. Start today where you are. There are needs all around you. Every single day. What we have to do is turn down the internal volume, though, and start looking outward. Because God doesn't just call you out of loneliness, He calls you into something greater, into His mission. You are made to belong. You are made to contribute. You are made to love others. Don't wait to be invited. Step in. Give what you wish someone had given you and break free from the loneliness that so often entangles us, fellas. Because that's how we become the man and the leader God intends us to be. So think about this. Where is God calling you right now to bring hope and connection? He's calling you somewhere. I don't know where. But I know he's not being silent. And then the final question of the week, guys what truth can you declare when loneliness creeps in? What is that truth that you need to start declaring? That loneliness feels like it's taking over. So look, if you feel like you're walking through a season of loneliness, I hope you find this encouraging. And then it would also, I would be remiss. We put a lot of resources and work into building our lion within us community, our daily spiritual kickoff space of the community. These are ways where you can connect, genuinely connect with real guys who are just doing life, man, who are trying to be the leaders God intends them to be, who are just on their own discipleship journey, and who are willing to come alongside and walk with you. Thelionwithin.us is our website. Easy way to get started, start your daily spiritual kickoff. It's free. It gets you the app. You actually get to go through our orientation, which gives you insights into how we serve and help others. So go start that. Click on the daily daily SKO on the line on the Lionwithin.us page. I would encourage you to start your Lion's Den community because you get the daily SKO, and then you get our complete space, our whole community, which has our support groups, our weekly events, our couples nights. I'm telling you, fellas, it's incredible things that are happening there. You have regular polls and engagement. There's tons of activity happening there. And it has a 30-day free trial. Like you have nothing to lose. It's literally check it out and see what it's like. It's also a great way to support what The Lion Within Us is doing. So if you want to be a donor, instead of just sending up like a monthly donation, just join the community and just let that be the way that you say, you know what? These messages help, the Bible plans help. I appreciate what you guys are doing. I want to support it. All that can be found at thelionwithin.us. Now we're also having a live event. If you're listening to this podcast when it comes live, our live event is right around the corner at the end of April, April 24th through the 26th. So, fellas, we're having a great time. It's going to be uh camping, but it's also going to be shooting and fishing and hiking and uh kayaking and fellowship, bonfires, some really, really good food, but conversations that we desperately need. We even wrap up with a little church service by the pond on Sunday morning. It's a great weekend. This is for men fiving up. Okay, so we do have some young, young men who come to this, but it's a great time to come together. It's called Reclaiming the Wild. So it's here in North Carolina. Go check our website out, the Lionelton.us, click on live events. You'll see that right there. Get registered today. Okay. So, guys, you know on our Fun Fridays now, we have our member spotlights. And I love the fact that we do this now. Because it gives you a chance to see the amazing men that we get to engage with on a regular basis. And how the Lions not only helping them, helping them in their discipleship journey, but how they're helping others. So you're talking about a great way to serve and to find those opportunities, could be found right there in The Lion Within Us. Okay. So again, the Lion Within.us is a great way to do that. Uh to get fine with all the resources and the Bible apps. Don't forget, open up the Bible app. We are just beyond blessed for the growth that we have seen in the Bible app. We're so thankful for them. So check that out. Download if you don't have the Bible app, download the Bible app. What are you waiting on, bro? Download that. Follow the Lion Within Us on that page there, okay? All right, guys. So get after it. Look, have a great day. Look forward to seeing you on Friday. Thank you for hanging out. If you're feeling alone, you do not have to fight this battle by yourself. Connect with us. Go get started today. Get plugged in. Tell me you reach out. I'm gonna reach out to you when I'm when you when you respond, tell me you listen to the podcast and yet you want to talk, we'll make it happen, okay? All right, guys. Have a great day. Get after it. We'll see you next time. Keep unleashing the lion within. If there's one habit that can change your home, it's this when a husband prays with his wife. Not because it's a magic formula, but because it recenters your marriage under God's authority and care. And let's be honest, a lot of guys want to do it, but most don't know how to start without it feeling awkward. Maybe you tried it before and it felt forced, or maybe you've never tried it because you don't even know what to say. Or maybe you're thinking, man, I'm not a pastor, I'm just a guy. And that's why we created this guide. It's our how to pray with your wife. Simple guide. It's biblical, it's practical, and it's designed to help you start praying with your wife in a way that actually feels natural. So it's a five-section guide and it gives you a simple framework to get started. Okay, it makes sure everything is grounded in scripture, and it also has a powerful PDF that you can pull up whenever you need, especially when things get off, because they're gonna get off. That's normal. So this is all about reclaiming your marriage and reclaiming the spiritual leadership reigns of your home. Because praying with your wife is one of the strongest ways to fight for unity, to build trust, and to write the ship when life starts to pull you off a course. So if you're ready, get access today at the lionwithin.uslash guides. That's thelionwithin.us slash guides. And start unleashing the lion within at home by leading your marriage through prayer.