Chris Grainger: 1:43

Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I'm your host, Chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, meet episode time. Let's get into it. Okay. So the scripture of the week this week is in the book of Job, the first chapter, the eighth verse. Okay, it says the Lord said to Satan, Have you considered my servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil. So, guys, if you get a chance, go back and listen to the spiritual kickoff episode. I took some time to unpack that verse at length to help us see how we can simplify and apply it to our life as Christian men. That's what it's all about. And as a reminder, I know every day, Monday through Friday, I just finished doing uh SKO this morning, actually, where I just we open God's word and we see how we can simplify and apply it to our life. And it's done within our platform at the Lion Within Us. All of it's for free, guys. You can go check out, get started for your daily spiritual kickoff. That even gives you access to the prayer request space that we have within the Lion Within Us. So all that is found at the LionWithin.us. You'll find you'll just go right there. You'll see Daily Spiritual Kickoff. Click on that, get started, it gets you into our app, and then you can be encouraged each and every day. So if you enjoy the SKOs, man, that's like a no-brainer. Like just head over and get that started, okay? So this conversation that we're getting ready to get into is important because every single one of us is in a fight and a battle for our family. We just are. And we don't need to be fighting with them. We need to be fighting for them. So brought in the guy who wrote the book on it, Craig Thompson. He's a disciple, he's a husband, he's a father, he's a pastor, he's an awesome guy. He's the pastor at Malvern Hill Baptist Church in Camden, South Carolina since 2007. Uh he's got all the degrees, fellas. He's done all the teaching the studies, he's got PhDs, all that stuff. But this dude, he he gets right to the core of what it means to fight for your family and how he personally has done that. And I mean, I'm telling you, he's very transparent. He's very just just vulnerable in this conversation. I even has his own podcast called the Ordinary Christian Podcast. He's just done some some great work out there, fellas. And I just I was encouraged by it. The book is very well laid out and put together, but because it gives you practical applications, you know how I am. I guess it's one thing to have a good word or to have some encouragement. It's another thing to show me. Like again, simplify and apply. I guess what we try to do at the line within us all the time. So I think you're gonna enjoy this one. If you're in a battle right now with your family, feel like you're losing right now. Maybe you and your wife are not on the same page, or you and your kids are never never on the same page. This conversation is gonna help you. It's gonna at least it's gonna encourage you, and you may walk away with some with some tips to even fight uh for your family even better and even stronger. All right. So again, Craig, he's done it all. He's got four kids himself: Wyatt, Aubrey, Brooklyn, Sloan, Sloan, uh, wonderful wife Angela, who who worked alongside of him. So I think you're gonna enjoy this one. So sit back, enjoy this conversation with Craig Thompson. Well, Craig, welcome to the Lion Within Us. I hope you're doing well. Yes, sir. I am. I'm having a great day. Just switch to decaf. I hear you, man. I hear you. Well, I'd love to get started on the lion every week when we when we have a chance to interview amazing guys like you. It's just tell me something fun about you, Craig, that maybe not many people know about.

Craig Thompson: 5:12

Well, again, I just switched to decaf because I've been going strong for a few hours. And uh the colder it gets, the more coffee I drink. So things get a little bit shady, right? Uh I get a little excited. Uh, but no. Um I don't know, man. What what I'm I'm I'm a I'm an open book. Um, so for folks that are listening who don't know me, I'm I'm a pastor. Uh probably the best part about me is I'm a husband with four kids. So um that's a good thing. I got two German short hair pointers that I love to hunt behind. Um and uh so uh that's uh that's maybe maybe that's something fun people doesn't know about me. I don't know. I shoot a 20 gauge, does that work? A 20 gauge, okay. There you go. Not to 12, huh? Well, I have one of those too, but uh that's awesome.

Chris Grainger: 5:55

That's awesome. Well, I I've been looking forward to this one. So I got a copy of your book, Fighting for Your Family, and and I was like, man, this is this is gonna be good. And and I was not disappointed. So if hats off, first of all, I mean I I know what it takes to put a book out into the world. Not the easiest endeavor, but man, what you know, what did God lay on your heart to even put something like this to get it started?

Craig Thompson: 6:18

Man, um uh Angela and I, that's my wife. We've been married for 20 years this year, and so when we got married um 20 years ago, we we began the process of premarital counseling and um we went for our first premarital counseling session, I'll never forget it. Uh, went to the guy's house and um we sit down, they fed us something, and he looks at me and he goes, you know what? You're you're gonna be a pastor, and looked at Angela, my wife. He said, You grew up in a in a Christian home with good good parents, so y'all already got this figured out. You don't really need me. I was like, whoa, dude, we we don't have anything figured out. I mean, we are literally, you know, walking into this blind. It's true. I mean, I had great parents, had great parents, or or had great parents, and um, but uh we we didn't know. And so we we didn't get that investment early on premaritally. And then we jump into marriage and um you know, we recognize that we needed some some resources, and so we we just kind of began educating ourselves as best we could with books. And at that time, podcasts really weren't a thing 20 years ago. So books and sermons and and uh other people, man, we we attached ourselves to people that were had good marriages. Um and so that developed in me just a passion to see marriages grow stronger. And then in our first few years of marriage, man, we had the same kind of struggles other people have, nothing um, nothing out of the ordinary. But you know, there was there was the struggles with uh just getting used to being married to one another. Our first kid came along less than two years after we got married, and uh, we had several significant deaths in our families in the process. So just a lot of things that sort of began to to spur that desire early on, and then um uh the the the the cherry on the top, we adopted our two youngest kids, and uh we recognized, man, in that process, how desperately we needed to grow as as believers, and we recognized just how real spiritual warfare is in the family. And so um, you know, all of those things kind of came together over a period of um really a decade to to get me to the place where I felt like this was a book that needed to be written, but then it took me another 10 years to write it.

Chris Grainger: 8:31

So well, I mean, hats off to all that. And I mean, so you sound like you you were facing some intense spiritual warfare directly with your family. Do you mind unpacking some of what you were experiencing there as you were uh you know going through this?

Craig Thompson: 8:46

Yeah, no, not at all. Um, and uh just just to be uh clear, um, I uh we actually got permission from our kids before I wrote this book because some of their stories in there. And um they uh I don't know how much of it they read, but uh I gave them, they they had the the early copies and I laid it in there. I said, you guys need to read this and make sure you're okay with everything that's in it. And they all were like, we're okay with it. I said, Did you read it? And uh sure, dad. Uh um, you know, I it's it's easy for us to point to uh like an adoption process, just for instance, and and there's intense spiritual battle that comes along with it. And it it's easy in that to say, man, look at what happened to us. Uh but that's man, that's not true. My kids, they they didn't, they didn't do anything to deserve what happened to them, you know. And the Lord burdened us for adoption. And uh um, as they came into our lives, they didn't trust us um for good reason. They didn't they couldn't trust anybody, you know. They were adjusting to a new family, trying to fit in, all those other things. And for Angela and I, man, we really realized that the battle with our flesh was so intense, man, because um I, you know, I recognize just how sinful and selfish I could be. Chris, when we talk about spiritual warfare, we usually think about uh Satan and the demonic or maybe the battle with the world. I'm sure we'll get to some of those things as this podcast progresses, but uh, man, for for me personally, and I think the same thing for Angela, I think I could speak for her in this situation. We recognize more than anything how desperately we needed to battle with our own flesh so that we could be the people that that God called us to be, that I could be the Pat I needed to be, the husband I needed to be, and and and certainly the father I needed to be, because uh it turns out, man, I was I was a lot more selfish than I realized when my life got turned, as as Will Smith would say, flip turned upside down.

Chris Grainger: 10:37

So I mean, speak and speak to that selfish piece, because some guys may hear that and they're like, wait a minute. Do I well, I mean, I think that's the part right for for guys when the rubber meets the road, say, all right, some most guys are maybe thinking like right now, well, I'm not that selfish, really. I mean, but I'm I'm sure and when you start peeling back layers of the onion, no, bro, a lot of the steps you're taking today are very self, you know, self-motivated, you know?

Craig Thompson: 11:02

Right. Yeah. So um I I like to say, especially in premarital counseling, that our house is the cross where we come to die daily. And if we choose to make it the castle where we come to rule, then we're gonna fail. What I discovered, much to my chagrin, is that as much as I taught others about the importance of your home being your cross where you die to serve your wife and your children, I had begun uh to really live in my life as though my home, my house, my family was really the castle where I came to reign. You know, and so I wanted to walk into your your my home. And and and then we all do for what it's worth. Like we love it when our home is the place that we escape from the struggles of the world. I I it's this is the time it's right now is my favorite time of the year. We're recording this December the first. And um, then I it's it's cold, it's dark. Um, that means that I can build a fire in my fireplace, and I can kind of forget the rest of the world exists when I get home. Man, when I get to my home, and instead of it being the place where I can disconnect, it's the place where I've got to engage even more. I discovered that, man, I was a lot more selfish than I than I wanted to be, than I should have been, because I wanted everybody to make Craig comfortable. I wanted everybody to make Craig feel good, as opposed to me walking into my home and saying, what do I do to make this the place that is that is excellent for this the comfort, the security, and and the development of my kids and my wife.

Chris Grainger: 12:38

I think it's interesting too, because I mean you're a pastor, you're out there helping guys on a consistent oh well, women as well, but it's just what's for our for our audience, we'll just stick, we'll focus on the men. You're helping them lead their families, you're you're having hard conversations, you're unpacking the truth that they need to hear. But then sometimes when you get home, it's just you you just want to break. And I mean, I think it's some guys are gonna be like, well, that's it's it's okay to want that, but uh to your point, man, this the battle is is there as well. And we gotta recognize that that is a place that uh we're gonna have to go to war because the evil one is fighting there every day.

Craig Thompson: 13:10

Yeah, it's it's understandable to want that. It's understandable that sometimes you gotta have to have that. There's been periods of time in my life where I I didn't just want that at my home. There were times when I needed it. Uh I went through a period of of pretty incredible anxiety about about two years ago. And um, man, I look, I I needed my home to be that that um safe harbor um because the the world felt like it was closing in on me sometimes, you know. And and so I I I get that, and there are times we need it, but uh guys, we we've got to be uh the spiritual leader in our home. And the spiritual leader in our home doesn't mean I get to walk in because what I wanted to be, right, is is I walk in and my children rise up and call me blessed. I walk in and my my wife says, Oh, dear husband, I'm so glad you've arrived home. And the children just celebrate, oh, father has walked into the door, and there's warm dinner on the table, and my slippers are waiting by the door. But that's not real life, you know, that's not real life at all. Um this is, you know, this is this is what I've got to be is is the provider, the protector uh for my family, and leading them well more than anything else means loving them well. And and I think that we can forget that. Chris, we talk to men about leading in the home. And there's a there's a lot of conversation about men being leaders in the home. But I find it interesting that Paul never talks about men leading their wives. He says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. There's a necessary component of leadership that flows out of our love, but we can't get into a situation where love flows out of our leadership. We've got to love first. And the love that Paul called us toward is to love our wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. So if I walk into my home and I look at my wife and I say, I'm gonna lead you, follow. And I look at my children and say, I'm gonna lead you, follow, as opposed to me walking in and first loving them as Christ loved the church. Okay. And then leading out of that love. I get it backwards.

Chris Grainger: 15:13

Yeah, it's so true, so true. And it's usually we get it backwards, we start fighting each other versus fighting the enemy. And I mean, you speak to that in the book as well about you know, making sure that we're fighting the enemy rather than fighting our spouse. I mean, any signs where we're maybe or or common themes that pop up with you or or guys you've worked with so they unintentionally made their spouse the opponent versus recognizing who the real opponent is?

Craig Thompson: 15:37

You know, it it doesn't, it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen in the ways that I think most people anticipate. Um you want to win uh the battle for your family, you'll say, Absolutely. Hey, that's that's a dumb question, right? Um but if I ask you if you're willing to lose a battle to win the war for your family, sometimes we get into a different spot. But oftentimes we do great damage to our relationships, not because we want to lose the war for our marriage, but because we're more concerned about winning a battle than we are about winning the war. The old adage that you can be you can be right or you can be happy. Uh I don't like that. Um I don't think that's true, but I I do think it's often the case that we find ourselves in the middle of maybe a disagreement with our wife, and we lose sight of the fact that um this is a minor skirmish, a minor battle. I'm drawing this like it's like you see a minor little picture um in the midst of something far larger. And I lose sight of the fact that she's not the enemy here, right? The enemy is is he who would seek to divide us. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy. And I don't believe there's anything he wants to destroy more than churches and families. And so when I lose sight of that, then I can dig my heels in. And it it ceases to be about me and my why finding a way to move forward and be stronger on the other side of whatever's going on, and it becomes about me winning this argument. And oftentimes I can win that argument, and I chip away at the opportunity to win the war for my family, and it's just not working.

Chris Grainger: 17:22

It's not, it's not. I I'm curious for guys that are listening right now, maybe they're having some some marital tension right now. And and how do you help them or how have you discerned the difference between just I mean, you got two sinners living together, there's gonna be tension at some point in your marriage. If you don't if you haven't had marriage, you know, tension in your marriage, then you're lying. So let's just be honest here. So you how do you discern between the just typical tension versus spiritual attacks? And I think there, and that's that can be challenging, but I'm just curious from your standpoint, when you guys have guys come to you looking for counsel, what how do you help them to dis discern between the two?

Craig Thompson: 17:59

Well, I mean, uh let me let me just let me say one thing real quick. I I think that typical tension can be a spiritual attack if we give the devil a foothold. That's one of the things that we need to not lose sight of the fact that if we think about that, that that war, that spiritual war on three fronts, being a battle with the flesh, a battle with the world, and a battle with Satan and demons. And maybe maybe we should speak to that just a minute, right? So the battle with flesh is is just that battle that I have with me. Um this is my own sinful flesh. Usually we're talking to men, we talk about literally the lust of the flesh. And that's an easy way to think about the battle with the flesh, but that's not the only thing. It's the battle with my anger. It's it's it's really everything that Paul lists as the fruit of the flesh being opposite of the fruit of the spirit, right? So the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The fruit of the flesh is everything that's opposite of that. Well, I don't get to blame the devil for those things. I don't get to blame the world for those things. When I'm impatient, and this is this is one of the hardest things for me every single day of my life. Matter of fact, I caught myself in a sermon yesterday. I had to correct myself in the middle of my sermon because I'm tempted to say things like, Chris, you made me angry. Well, the fact of the matter is, you don't make me anything. You may do something that's that's wrong, but I choose my response. Like part of the battle with the flesh and taking every thought captive, as Paul urges us to do to the writing to the Corinthians, part of that battle is to say, Whoa, whoa, no, no, Chris didn't make me angry. I chose to respond to Chris's situation with anger or frustration or impatience or or whatever the case. Sometimes that's a righteous anger, but oftentimes I'm choosing to respond with impatience, not out of righteousness, but but simply out of my own fleshly desire. I mean, how often have we been in a spot where our wife or our children did something that just got under our skin? It may not have even been wrong. It just wasn't the way I would have done it. And rather than responding with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness and self-control, I responded with impatience, right? I responded with heaven forbid, wrath. Oftentimes we see those responses. So so we we begin with sort of the battle of the flesh, which which has to do with me and how I'm gonna respond. Um, the second would be the battle with the world. This is the things that are coming into our homes, for instance. So, I mean, you know, uh my phone's laying here beside me. Like, there's there's no greater battle with the world than things that are that are that are coming at us through our screens. Um, and and and look, this is gonna be especially uh, guys, for your wives and for your teenage daughters, the things that they're reading in books, be very wary. Um be wary that you're not doing it, but this is not happening as much with men as it is with teenage girls. Uh, fantasy books are really getting to be absolutely um disgusting in the sexual material that is involved. And these are super popular among teenage girls. Um, and they look awesome because on the cover it looks like you're reading like Harry Potter, but then you open it up and you're reading like X-ray of Harry Potter and you just didn't know it. Um, so the battle with the world, um, I mean, social media, all that stuff. And then the battle with with with uh Satan and demons, and those are the things that that we tend to think about. That's that's that's stuff that just comes from out of nowhere, right? It's like what is this deep oppression that's that I'm experiencing right now? Um, how do these things keep sort of going wrong in my life from out of nowhere that seem to have no explanation? Um, so you you're asking how do we discern? So um the reality is like the other things of the battle with the with Satan and demons, it's real, and I don't want to deny it. But for most of us, we've got to spend a lot of time battling our flesh in the world before the devil needs to take any notice of who we are. Right. And as long as I'm trying to blame him for what's my my responsibility, then I'm never going to be victorious in that. So guy walks in. I'm sorry, there's a really long answer, Chris. Go ahead. So the first question I'm going to ask is what's going on at home? You know, and usually if it's couples, I'm counseling with them together. And let's just say it's, you know, we're just bickering all the time. Okay. How does how, you know, brother, how do you respond when you guys are bickering? You know, do you do you respond by seeking reconciliation? Do you respond by trying to find a way to work through this and get out of it? Or are you responding with passive aggressive behavior? Are you yelling? I mean, heaven forbid, I, you know, Chris, I was so blessed. I grew up in a home where I'm 44 years old. I never heard my father yell at my mom, still to this day, in anger. Not one time. I've never heard him call her a name or insult her in anger. Um that that's never occurred in my hearing. That's that's an incredible privilege, right? That I was a grown man before I realized it's a rare privilege. Yeah, for sure. And so I continue to be shocked at at folks that would come and sit down, and I discover that they they get into a disagreement, and the disagreement quickly devolves into name-calling or to cursing at one another. So, you know, is it a spiritual attack because you and your wife disagree about, you know, how the dishes are to be washed? No, it's not. But if you decide to live in the flesh in that moment, then it just became a spiritual issue, right? Because you've indulged the flesh. You didn't go to war with your own flesh. Instead, you rolled over, you gave in, and that became an issue that that that really has spiritual spiritual um components. And then and then from there we begin to wrestle through even more, you know, why are you bickering? Well, you know, your your attention is being robbed from your spouse because you're spending all your time on social media. Or heaven forbid, you know, you're looking at pornography. That's that's the battle with the world and the battle with the flesh, and they kind of come into to conflict with one another. And then I'm gonna be honest, we have those those open incredible doors for the battle with Satan and the demonic as well.

Chris Grainger: 24:10

Amen. Yeah, I mean, and and that's where he can get a foothold at, right? So, guys, we're gonna take our first break with Craig. We'll be right back. Let's just say it out loud. Marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God can give a man, and one of the most consistent places where we can feel unsure of what we're doing. Even the strongest marriages have moments where you look at your wife and you think, you know what? I love you. I'm so committed to you. But right now, I have no idea what I should do next. And that's why we launched something new inside the lion within us community. It's our very first support group. And it's for husbands. And we're calling it committed and occasionally confused. This isn't just a place for men in crisis. So if you're there, hey, you're welcome. This is for any man who refuses to coast and wants to take his marriage from good to great. So inside, you'll find an active chat and a feed and honest conversations and brotherhood that says, hey, you're not alone, we've been there. Unless we bring this to God and grow. And we're also doing a monthly couples night where your wife is invited because we're not letting the world set the agenda for our homes. Now, if you want access to this support group, it's very simple. Go to thelionwithin.us and join the Lions Den. Okay, that's the LionWithin.us. Start your 30-day free trial of the Lions Den community, and boom, you have instant access to the committed and occasionally confused support group. We'll see you inside the den. Craig, I am I'm super interested because you're as you as you walk through the book, phenomenal job, Bob. I can't say it enough. I'm gonna keep saying it over and over, guys. Go get you a copy, Fighting for Fighting for Your Family by Craig Thompson. So, but you you talk a lot about leadership, and which for me hits really close to heart because it's the line within us, be the leader God intentionally just be. Like this is what we do, right? We want to talk about leadership. So whenever I get to the leadership of uh type of applications, man, it really grabs me. And for guys out there listening, what do you think is the biggest barrier for them stepping in to be the intentional leader at home? Because so many guys I talk to just don't feel equipped, they don't feel like they they they want to outsource, you know, being the spiritual leaders of their home. So what what are you seeing? What are you hearing on a on a regular basis from men when it comes to the idea of actually leading at home and maybe where are they getting it wrong?

Craig Thompson: 26:35

Yeah. Um well, Chris, I'm I'll throw it out and you agree or disagree. I'd be curious if you're seeing similar things, but um I honestly I I see far too many guys that are just mailing, just mailing it in, right? It's just they're they they just they they maybe they tried once or twice, it didn't go well, and so they they just quit trying. And um, you know, so their wife is willing to lead devotions, their wife's willing to get the kids up and get them dressed for school, their wife's willing to do um, you know, discipline and and all those other things, and they just go, okay, well, I'll just let her do it. She's happy, so I'll just stay out of the way. And in the process, they they really don't recognize or appreciate that they have a role and a responsibility, and that their wife really would just love to experience um the the feeling of love and appreciation that would come from them stepping up to the plate and participating in the process. Has that been your experience?

Chris Grainger: 27:34

Yeah, I mean the big thing for me has been I see so much and it's for me for a long time, spiritually passive. So I think spiritual passivity is one of the biggest things that is impacting men. And we we want to outsource, and I'm not picking on you because you're a pastor, don't take it that way, but we want to outsource it to to guys like you. And we think that an hour on a Sunday, or if we're super Christians, and another hour on a Wednesday night, like you'll be able to spiritually lead our families and and and I can just go ahead and outsource that because you're more qualified. You've been to seminary, you got the degrees, you develop, you got all the training. I'm like, no, brother, like that that is not it. I like you're you're gonna come along, you're gonna help me, you're gonna come along beside it to equip me, but it is my job to lead my family spiritually, and I cannot outsource that. And I think that's been the biggest thing is just being spiritually passive and just letting guys uh or just just just abdicating that completely from my responsibility.

Craig Thompson: 28:26

Yeah, and and Chris, if I can just take a moment uh to uh just lay a little bit of blame at the contemporary church. Um a little bit, not not at all, because men are not absolved from responsibility here, but I do think that we have not done a great job as church leaders and as the church in general of really connecting faith in Christ to men. Um we we we've too often described Christianity using very feminine terms. Our our worship service services have have been very when when I say feminine, that that doesn't mean that it's only geared toward women, but but but we we do worship in such a way that it doesn't connect with with normal guys. And and as a result, you know, they they feel like they they feel a little disenfranchised, and then they just don't step up the plate and take take the reins. Now, again, guys, I'm not absolving you of your responsibility, but I am saying that there's enough responsibility or enough blame to go around with even pastors and leaders in the church where we've not done a really good job of looking at at our our worship services. Or, you know, there's a church, there's a book several years ago that even talking about the architecture of our churches, the the the the decor within our churches and whether or not it's it's welcoming to guys when they get here. And I think we've got to do a better job so that men understand that I mean the disciples were dudes. They were fishermen. Um, you know, I mean, like, and and and they weren't like, you know, bass fishermen today. And I like I like to bass fish. I ain't picking on them but I'm gonna tell you something, bass fishermen. They're that's a or or fly fishermen. I like to fly fish too. Those those guys are different, right? I mean, you've got you've got all this equipment, you're clean, you're dry. I mean, you got all this, you're spending all this. Now, these guys were like nasty, like like legit, like gross blue-collar guys that are just sweating, they're they're naked half the time fishing. Um, I mean, just just they're just dudes working hard, and yet Jesus is pouring into them. This is the picture of what leadership is in the early church. And somewhere along the way, man, we missed the boat and and and leadership became, you know, uh uh skinny jeans and and fancy lattes. Whereas we've got to be reaching guys that wear um that wear shirt and tie, without a doubt, but also guys that wear car hearts and and drink black coffee, and uh, even though they shouldn't be, probably smoking, you know, Marlboro Marlboro Reds or something. I mean, we got to reach all these guys and and we got to help them to understand that following Jesus is is a masculine opportunity. Right.

Chris Grainger: 31:02

Yeah, and I'm with you there too. I mean, I think so many times. Like, and and I I love worship music, but sometimes I feel like it's shifted where it's like we're singing like Jesus is our boyfriend, and it's like, wait a minute now, we're missing it here. He he he is sovereign, he is Lord, he is, and we need to keep that in check. So hats off for for at least opening that up and and and exploring that. I mean, I also think when I think about guys in marriage, and I'm so glad you mentioned Paul earlier, and and they were you were talking about you know, we're not supposed to lead our wives, but we're supposed to love our wives, and and and there's a there's a difference there. I mean, that there's a tie as well, but how do you see most guys misunderstanding the the role that the Bible tells us is clear and leading our families? And like, what does that look like? So, how are we misapplying the way the world tells us versus what the way that we you know scripture obviously is showing us?

Craig Thompson: 31:52

So we kind of already uh addressed the the passivity. The other end of that extreme is the guy that walks in and you know sort of pounds the the desk and says, follow me. Right, right. You know, that that's where where we gotta be is in the middle that just says I'm taking initiative, right? But I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna use a sort of a soft word, but I'm wooing my wife in. You know, I'm I'm loving her in to follow me. So it's not boom, I'm the leader, you better follow me. You know, it's like, hey, I'm gonna run out into the fire, um, and I'm gonna create a safe space for you to be. And will you get behind me so that we can get through this together? That's where the the leadership has got to be. I um I I I heard it, I said, matter of fact, it was it was Mark Driscoll, and I'm uh when when when he's right, he's right, and when he's wrong, he's really wrong. Uh, but uh uh years ago, he he he described you know male leadership this way. He said it's it's it's taking a bullet for your wife, or it's it's it's walking, it's walking between her and the traffic. You know, it's it's not always what you think that it is. It's being out in front um so that she has a safe space to follow you behind into. And it's it's loving well in those processes. And and part of that means being out front spiritually, right? So it's you know, get up before she does, get in the word before she does. So at the very least, she sees you leading in that area and she can sort of follow behind in your wake. If you can think about your leadership, sort of the way that a boat cuts through the water, if you can get in in the wake of that boat, right in the in the sweet spot, right? It's it's a it's an ex it's an enjoyable experience. Um, or if if you're a NASCAR guy, if you're you're drafting, you know, if the the car out front gets in in the in the lead and the wind can come in behind and sort of fit in that that little cavitated space um where it's it's safer to be. I I want to be leading my wife in such a way that I'm out just a little bit in front so that she has safe spaces to be in. I does that does that help? Does that soon?

Chris Grainger: 34:00

Yeah, I mean you made the connection with me with NASCAR, so thank you for going there. Well, well, no, it's it's so true because I mean that that's that's the case. Just we want to be there. That's what marriage is, man. We're drafting, right? That's right. That's right. And we're and pulling each other along. I mean, that's that that's what it's it. And and sometimes, you know, and I think it sometimes to kind of stick to that to that theme, it's okay for for us as we don't always have to be the lead car as long as we're in the draft. And then it but most of the time we probably do need to be out front. But I know for there's been times in my marriage, my wife has had to take the lead in some areas, and I'm so thankful that she did, you know, because I dropped the ball. And then she she lovingly shows me where I dropped the ball, and then next thing you know, you know, this course correction can happen, but it's not hammering me, and I'm not hammering her with, you know, submit and follow and all. No, it's got to be to your point. I like I like wooing. You I think you nailed it right there when you said that.

Craig Thompson: 34:54

I think it was men's fraternity a bunch of years ago that created this this uh this graphic for what leadership looks like uh in the home. And we we tend to think of it like it's this top-down leadership. It's like boom, um, you know, you you follow after me. Uh, but but instead they they visualized it as um sort of a cycle, right? So you've got um like like loving your wife, if you could imagine sort of the top of a circle, and you've got uh servant uh serving your your husband at the bottom, right? You might even look at it as servant leadership at the top and then serving at the bottom. And what what I've seen through the years is that when a husband is willing to lead his wife, I mean sacrificially love her and lead her with grace and care and kindness and energy. She is joyful in submitting that leadership. Um, and there's a real easy way to explain this. Guys, your your wives make like 400 decisions a day, and and your wives worry about things that we they don't even cross our minds. Like we don't even think about some of the things our wives worry about. What I've found through the years, leadership in my home often looks like me calling my wife and saying, you know what, I would love chicken for dinner tonight and potatoes. And um, man, when I say that, I feel, I feel as a husband like I'm just sort of imposing upon her because she cooks dinner most of the time, and I don't care what she cooks, right? If she wants to cook it, I'm happy to eat it. I don't want to tell her what to cook for me. Um, but what I've found through the years is when I'll do that, she's like, oh, thank you so much. That's one decision I didn't have to make today.

Chris Grainger: 36:33

Right.

Craig Thompson: 36:34

To cook you chicken and potatoes. I'm like, what is that what you want? She goes, no, not really, but I know it'll make you happy, and it's a decision I don't have to make. Guys, there's so many things where leadership doesn't look like imposing your will on your wife. It's just, hey, let me take this decision process off of you. I'm gonna give you a chance to just switch into autopilot for a little while, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take the uh uh the the reins. Man, that's such a great point, Greg.

Chris Grainger: 37:00

I mean, even for me and my wife today, you know, I took uh we have some issues going on with one of our cars, and I was like, look, and she was gonna call the shop. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, line, because I've got one of those going on right. No, it's more transmissions. I told her, say, look, don't worry about calling. I will call the shops. I know I I I'm used to be a mechanic. I'll have the conversation. She she put it on her list, and I'm like, look, babe. And I could tell that the weight just came off of her just by me willing to step in and do that. So, guys, just I mean, look for those opportunities for sure. And you you mentioned in throughout your book about the fertile ground for sanctification is is is in the family. And and I'd love for you to unpack that, you know, how how how we have so many opportunities in our homes to grow closer to Christ and be sanctified. Maybe we're missing them. So what what are you seeing right here, Craig? Why why did you you know make this as one of the most important areas of what you've of your resource here?

Craig Thompson: 37:52

Well, I mean, the Bible teaches that, right? Like a husband, love your wives. We got that. But then what is I'm supposed to wash her in the word, like sanctifying her. That's a part of the process. That's a biblical expectation and requirement. Well, if that's what the Bible says I'm supposed to do, then I should be doing it. So I appreciate you giving me credit, but let me not take credit away from from what the scripture teaches. Um, you know, we we tend to be most ourselves around the people that know us the best, for good or bad. Right? My my kids, um I man, I there I this is I shouldn't tell this, but I'm I'm gonna share this. I'm gonna be very, very transparent with you. I nothing gives me greater joy, I think, than to embarrass my kids in in controlled environments, right? I don't do it in public. Uh uh, I don't think that's uh an appropriate thing to do. But but if I can find ways to get at them a little bit, man, it it brings me great joy. We were shopping a few weeks ago, and um uh my wife and I were doing some early Christmas shopping, and we went into a store and they they had I I kid you not, this is you you don't know me, but you can imagine this is not a good thing. They had men's Lululemon leggings. I didn't know such a thing existed, a tights leggings. I don't know what the difference is, right? It's you you you could picture, right? And they had them on clearance for like 18 bucks. Well, you know, our all the girls like, oh, Lululemon, it's a big thing. So I was oh yeah. So I bought a pair. I bought a pair. And I mean, like I'm I I'm I'm a large human, right? I'm I'm I uh um and so I I I bought them and I squeezed into those. I didn't wear them in public. Okay. I will not wear them in public. It's possible that they may go on under a pair of shorts this winter to squat in because you know I I work out at home in my shop and it doesn't have heat. So it's possible that it might happen that way. They don't get worn in public, but I put those on and came downstairs um to model them for my children. And I mean, like they were they were in that they had they had what what they call secondhand embarrassment. You know, they they were embarrassed for me kind of thing. Well in our homes, right, with the people that know us best, they get to see, they get to see sides of us that nobody else gets to see. So sometimes they get to see that, the silly things, the the weird jokes, but they also get to see the worst parts of us because it's where our comfort level is. I can get more frustrated with them than anybody else on planet Earth. It's not fair, but it's facts. So um with that in mind, um, if that's the place where I can struggle the most, it's also got to be the place where there can be the greatest growth in my life and in their life. It's the place where people see me mess up the most, where I have to apologize the most, uh, to look at my children and to my wife and to say, I I sinned. I should not have spoken the way that I did, or said what I said, or neglected to do the thing that I did. Um, and so um I I I think that's just it's it's just fertile ground because it's the place where we are we are most well known. Yes, yes.

Chris Grainger: 41:11

I love how you put that. I mean, where do you think the enemy, you know, who obviously has a target on you already mentioned steel key on destroy everything in our family, in our marriages, in our homes. Where do you think he's the most effective or he sees the the the most vulnerable where we're most vulnerable at, I guess, is is men, uh, in leading our marriages or parenting? Like I anything come to mind at a particular time or what do you mean by or not a time, or even even a a it could be a time or

Craig Thompson: 41:40

could just be an an area uh or uh um you know a relationship or what or it could be pride like i mean i don't know where where do you're seeing where if i'm the enemy and i want to take out craig yeah um where am i going to target first and most often and and be relentless because i think felt i feel like if i can keep attacking this area of of craig's life at some point i got him yeah um i i think for for me particularly and really for all of us there there are two times in our lives when we need to be most vigilant it's it's uh it's when we're really tired and exhausted like when when for whatever reason right um and and then on on the back side of big victories in our lives though those are are are are times or moments when speak to that one often the big victory because guys guys probably thinking about that well I think I think it's easy for for us to when when when big things go well it's easy for us to lose sight of the fact that we're weak and vulnerable um let's let's use a um a um I like to lift weights so let's use a a weight lifting um analogy uh bench press a few weeks ago had a pretty good day um felt pretty good about it um so I decided the next week I was gonna go right back to the same the same weight hit it for two um that was just the the the plan and it worked out excellently my oldest son was home from college so I had a spotter boom nothing could be nothing nothing could be further away from from perfect for this per this scenario to set up so there was no question for me about whether or not I could could accomplish um this to some degree because I'd already done it right there's there well turns out you know it it went horribly I didn't even get up to where I was the week before which is just so so foreign to me that if I've already if I've already been victorious then how could I not be the next time um I I think spiritually we can have these moments in our lives where we've had a victory and it could be a spiritual victory it it could be like a job promotion it could be I mean one of those victories in the home like I don't know if you ever had those things that just all of a sudden everything went right whatever the case may be and we can lose sight of the fact that you know those things only come about in our lives as a result of God's grace. I can begin to believe a whole lot in my own abilities and and begin to really discount any weaknesses and those can open the door. I can also if I'm not careful and this is the pride part right I can begin to think about how good Craig Thompson is. I can begin to think about how ridiculous like those kids or that wife could be because they just don't appreciate how great this situation is. And I don't really appreciate how they came into the process. So I think that's some of the ways on the backside of a victory those uh those those vulnerabilities exist. That's really good Craig I want to take us back to almost to the beginning of the conversation where you said you and your wife went and met with the counselor maybe it was a pastor for premarital counseling and let's let's let's fast forward a tape but let's let's say we have a time machine and we could go back and you could counsel you right so the 20 year ago version of you in that session what are you saying to yourself I mean don't we begin with don't be an idiot I mean oh you got to take that off the table don't be dumb don't be dumb uh uh man that's a really great question that's a really great question Chris I've never thought of it that way you'd think I would have um uh I I I I would I would say the opposite of what was said to me to begin with I I would actually say so he says you're gonna be a pastor so you got it all figured out I think I would say just because you're gonna be a pastor don't assume you've got it figured out um uh I've I've I've told some other people I appreciate the the the the opportunity to write this book and and I appreciate you having me on here but um you said when did I decide to write it and I said you know most most of the things in here were were are 20 or 10 years old or more. Some of them aren't that old but most of them are well why didn't I write it any sooner? To some degree I needed to be married 20 years before I could write this book. You know but man we we walk in and you've been married two years and you think you got everything figured out. So um hey I'd say you know just because you're gonna be a pastor doesn't mean you got it figured out so don't don't assume that you do um I I would encourage any couple to find a mentor couple you don't have to make it weird um if if if it's not if you're not that kind of person and this is one of the things I think that we need to say more regularly there's a there's a lot of of uh publicity right now about you know identifying you know your your mentors or or whatever and and and having um Angela and I have a couple of friends that we are super close with and uh we read a lot of books together you know we we minister to one another and um so grateful for them they actually pre-read the book and and and uh but um um you know one of the books that we read encouraged us to create this friendship contract um and like I I'm not I'm not creating a friendship contract I'm not telling you it's bad right and then that are wired that way maybe you are you're an engineer engineers are different right so um like there there and I've got people that I love dearly in my life that like that would make perfect sense uh let's have this contract let's sign it and let's bro that ain't me like I don't I know like I'll I let's do it differently so I I want to be careful to say when I say find a mentor couple um and it might be that you've got that couple you go and say hey could could y'all spend some time with us um you don't have to say would you be my mentor and make it weird you might just say could could we take y'all out to dinner I want to hear what y'all have done. You you've been married 25 years and y'all look like what we want to look like when we get when we grow up and um and then find some of those that you admire from afar. Some of you some of you have parents or grandparents and that's you got to see it. But if you don't have those, get plugged into a local church and find a couple that you can model your marriage after never stop learning about your wife ever. I I had a professor one time that said you should have a PhD in your wife and um for those of you don't appreciate what a PhD is exactly that that means that when you go through a PhD you have an area of study and you write a dissertation and when you write that dissertation you become or at least you're supposed to become the world's expert on that very um focused topic that you create. Nobody is supposed to know more than you about it. When it comes to your wife you should earn a PhD in her you should know everything. I mean guys know her shoe size know her waist size know her eye color you need to know those things and it's it's going to pay dividends so I I would start with with some of of that um uh you know keep dating your wife but but be careful the way that you phrase that you know dating your wife doesn't require you to spend you know 150 bucks a week on babysitters and and all that like that's that's some of the ordinary stuff I I really like to get into um and we talk about fighting for our families man sometimes I just need to spend time with my wife away from the kids away from the distractions for us that was really difficult. We have four kids that are stacked in close together I'm a pastor especially early on like our our salary was not excellent. How do you work all these things out? You know we don't we don't live in close proximity to any of our family and we had people that would watch our children but it always felt like an imposition to just you know pwn your kids off on somebody whether it was or wasn't it felt that way to us and so um you know when you talk about having a date night and you're gonna spend you know a hundred bucks on dinner in a movie or whatever and then you're gonna spend another 50 bucks on a babysitter or a hundred bucks probably in today's dollars on babysitter you know man the idea that once or twice uh you know once a week or twice a month we were gonna drop two or three hundred bucks on dinner together we that that wasn't even close to a reality for us. We had to find other ways to spend that time together. And so for us that meant you know putting the kids to bed and then you know having dinner together after the kids went to bed. Occasionally it meant having a lunch date because that worked into our schedule. So keep dating your wife but don't make it don't make it something that that creates a huge burden for your family. Make it something that's good for both of you.

Chris Grainger: 50:13

Amen to that Craig guys will be right back when we'll finish up our conversation with Craig If there's one habit that can change your home it's this when a husband prays with his wife not because it's a magic formula but because it recenters your marriage under God's authority and care. And let's be honest a lot of guys want to do it but most don't know how to start without it feeling awkward. Maybe you tried it before and it felt forced or maybe you've never tried it because you don't even know what to say. Or maybe you're thinking man I'm not a pastor I'm just a guy and that's why we created this guide. It's our how to pray with your wife simple guide. It's biblical it's practical and it's designed to help you start praying with your wife in a way that actually feels natural. So it's a five section guide and it gives you a simple framework to get started. Okay it makes sure everything is grounded in scripture and it also has a powerful PDF that you can pull up whenever you need especially when things get off because they're gonna get off that's normal.

Craig Thompson: 51:20

So this is all about reclaiming your marriage and reclaiming the spiritual leadership reigns of your home because praying with your wife is one of the strongest ways to fight for unity to build trust and to write the ship when life starts to pull you off a course so if you're ready get access today at the lionwithin.us slash guides that's thelionwithin.us slash guides and start unleashing the line within at home by leading your marriage through prayer well Craig that those are great any more practical advice or or things that you've implemented over the years I think that the going putting the kids to bed and having dinner things like that because you're right we have to be super intentional about this about dating her and knowing her anything else that you would like to share so far as you've raised four kids you've been through it I'm sure you've got some raising four kids brothers there you go there you go middle schoolers we're still in the thick of it you know we we um uh we we walk together a lot um and that that is honestly probably one of the best things we do for our relationship now I'm I'm not a walker um I I I run occasionally I like to lift weights we got into rucking a few years ago um yeah so um and rucking's great because you know we can take the dogs we can go for a walk and I can I can add extra weight to my pack which means we can do the same work um and I can still feel like I'm getting something from it but walking as opposed to running like I'm I'm I'm not a runner. I run because I don't I don't want to die of a heart attack at 62. But when I rucking we can still have a conversation with one another so um I'll be honest with you like that that has been one of the best things that we've done for our marriage in the past five or six years is just to go um well it's it's actually been longer than that we began doing it earlier than that but especially in the past five or six years just to um you know grab our backpacks and go for a walk in our neighborhood put in a couple of miles together and um just listen. That's awesome man.

Chris Grainger: 53:36

There is and and guys don't don't skip over that rucking. I'm telling you it's it's not it's a game changer. So I mean I I don't know if if if you how much you enjoy it Craig but for me that's something I I absolutely love a good ruck.

Craig Thompson: 53:47

Oh yeah I mean the the you know that's that's one thing in this book that I did that I I'm not aware of other m books on marriage and family doing is we have a whole chapter in there on physical health and fitness and um I think it matters so much. It makes me a better husband a better father better pastor when I'm I'm taking care of this temple that God's given to me. So um you know there's there's a there's a whole chapter in there on on just holistically being healthy physically spiritually emotionally mentally um on on practices for our life that get us there. So uh and and rucking is one of those things. A lot of guys in our church ruck um Angela and I uh ruck a good bit and you know I I'm I'm a huge advocate for it. Uh if you guys are listening and you don't like to run um go for a ruck. It it's it's good for you. You don't have to get crazy. There's a I don't know if you can see it there's actually a you see that I'm on the wrong side there's a there's a ruck leaned over against the wall oh yeah so uh yeah that one's uh actually for somebody else but um um uh yeah we we love matter of fact we we have extra rucks at our house so that we can invite people to go with us believe it or not so that's awesome yeah yeah you rucked off Chris yeah I try to well in July of this year I broke my right ankle working on the farm and uh pretty bad I mean it wasn't just like it it it was I've I've had three surgeries uh I still have a actually I have a pick line in right now uh I'm doing my I because I got a staph infection from it.

Chris Grainger: 55:15

So uh I was I went from running six, five K's a week to uh haven't run since July 26th when I broke my ankle so I am ready and I get the pick line out this week I think and I am so pumped to get back rucking and because that's how I'll start it back. I'll get I'll ruck to get to where I can run. But then me and my wife were trying to find ways and your physical chapter I think was was so spot on. We want to find ways in 26 to do more of of physical activity together because that's just something that she recognizes she needs to do more of so I'm gonna I'm gonna bring this one back up to our rucking of hey I think this could be a good easy way to you know get back into it.

Craig Thompson: 55:53

For ladies that are listening to this or for guys that are trying to convince your wife to give it a go um I mean I my my wife is is not uh you know she's she's petite and um like she's not she wouldn't be upset when we say that she's not rugged or something like that, but she loves it. I mean she absolutely loves it. I and for me I've lifted weights my whole life um and for those of you listening worried about there I've not done anything that was better for strengthening my core than rucking. I've had some back problems through the years. Nothing's been better for my back than regular rucking. So uh um yeah I'm I'm I'm probably a little bit more of a of a salesman for it than I should be but it it's it's it's been a it's been a game changer for me in so many ways because I don't want to run six, five Ks a week every lot I enjoy it man.

Chris Grainger: 56:43

I won't run six, five Ks in the next two years probably I don't know it's something well our farm is close to a uh it's a nature trail it's just a trail through the woods and and two laps it just we moved here and two laps was a 5k and I love and two laps is is just I'm not honest and true we did a we did a 5k our trip sponsor one a few weeks ago and I ran it and I was proud of myself because I actually did it.

Craig Thompson: 57:10

The only thing keeps me running right now is is uh in the uh in the summer months is keeping my dogs healthy so they can hunt in the fall. There you go. There you go. I do I do run with them but I'll honestly my two youngest kids run cross country so if they'll take the dogs and run then I'll just go for a ruck or pick up something heavy.

Chris Grainger: 57:30

I love it. I love it Craig this has been great we always try to kind of at the end of our conversations have a fun lightning round Craig so if you're willing to play we'll jump right into it. A little scared but let's go. Hey we haven't lost the patient yet so you're good to go man so uh start off favorite hobby anything you enjoy doing for fun you mentioned lifting weights and hunting and yeah I I I I like to lift and and hunt but probably more consistently than anything for the past 25 years of my life has been lifting.

Craig Thompson: 57:56

There you go. And you got a home gym? I do yeah it's nothing fancy but it gets the job done there's no heat so it's cold in the winter.

Chris Grainger: 58:03

Hey man but I got we had the same thing at our one of our barns I set up our home gym so it's got a power rack some some free weights no heat though you can smell all the the the horse manure and all that that just gets that's just more motivation for me you know it works for you yeah I don't want anything to eat that much. So there you go. How about favorite food?

Craig Thompson: 58:22

What's your go-to you finish lifting some weights you earn it man so what do you man I don't know I mean it's about anything my wife cooks for me uh but um man this time of year I just I I love soup when it gets cold uh so I I I do like soups of all kinds and and I'm I'm uh I gotta be careful because I could probably eat pizza four four times a week believe it or not I don't allow myself to but I probably could so well I mean it's got tomatoes and you know sometimes it has vegetables it's pretty close to a salad you know so think about it that way. Yeah I'd I'd it'd be hard for me to uh nail down a a favorite food.

Chris Grainger: 58:58

There you go. How about um favorite movies? If you and your wife get a chance to sit down and have a uh a night where you're pulling up the movie is there a go-to you pulling up man I know that's awful but no no yeah I'd I I we love Christmas so I'll I'll watch some Christmas movies like like it's my job.

Craig Thompson: 59:15

I I can't do the Hallmark stuff but uh the old classics man I can I can get into that and there you go yep any any favorite classic Christmas movie movies? You were gonna do that to me um I I I will tell you one that's uh those a little off the radar um that you wouldn't expect but uh um there's there's an old black and white called Holiday Inn uh with uh Bean Cosby and Fred Astaire in it and uh we my wife wanted to watch it we forced the kids to watch it uh four or five years ago and unexpectedly it became one of our holiday favorites completely completely not expected at all but uh I I do I really enjoy it so I don't mean the old classics I mean everybody loves Christmas vacation I guess but it's just so so vile it's just difficult so yeah yeah love it man love it I have to check that at holiday in okay all right that's where white Christmas comes from the song okay okay awesome awesome how about if you could have a superpower Craig which one would you pick how would you use it I'm just I'm always like to throw this one out at guys uh you know our teenagers ask me this about once a year and I have to come up with a different answer uh man my my favorite superhero is probably Wolverine so just you know I I guess I would have to go that route you know just just that's sort of miraculous healing I'd be yeah yeah that would be cool and uh and the older you get man that I could definitely get down with that I bet you right now with an ankle. Man sometimes it takes time all smoothie just to get the day going you know I'm saying but uh but anyway uh any habits that you started lately that you find value in it could be personal physical spiritual and just anything you started that you get a lot of value out of um yeah you know I as I get older I I get up earlier in the mornings and uh I've always been an early riser but in increasingly I'm an early riser and an early earlier to bed guy and um man I I never regret getting in bed a little earlier so I can get up a little earlier. So that would do that. Yeah I would I would I I would enjoy that. These cold morning tough though buddy I mean the the covers feel nice.

Chris Grainger: 1:01:26

Oh yeah oh yeah. Well when you think about God what what's your favorite thing about him the the easy

Craig Thompson: 1:01:40

Answer and the one that we should all go with, of course, is Christ. He He died for us. And that has got to be number one. Like He sees me for who I am and loves me anyway so much that He's willing to die. That still just blows my mind. Always. But at 44, with my kids getting older, my first kid at college, I I also just find myself just so regularly thanking him for the privilege of my my wife and kids. I really do. Like I come through Thanksgiving. I had all four kids at home for a week. And uh man, that's just it's that's that's a blessing that I don't deserve and the Lord's given to me.

Chris Grainger: 1:02:24

That's flipping 180. So what's your least what's what's your least favorite thing about the evil one about Satan? It it it's what he does to others.

Craig Thompson: 1:02:40

I I see the destruction in our world. Um I s I see families just falling apart. Um and when I see that, man, especially when I see the fallout and kids suffer as a result, teenagers suffer. You know, I had a a a couple people recently, younger kids, young young young adults, and I I told my wife, I said, they just need a dad. And because of some things in their life, they don't have one, you know, and I I can I can try to step in and be what I can be, but I I can never be everything that they need as a father, you know? And when I see people, especially kids, and and and and again, I when I say kids, man, I mean, you know, yeah, little kids all the way up to early 20s. I see them suffer because they don't have somebody to call in times of crisis or because something goes wrong. Um that that man, it I that angers me. Yeah. Amen.

Chris Grainger: 1:03:36

Well, Craig, what what do you hope the listeners remember the most from our conversation today? I hope they'll go buy the book.

Craig Thompson: 1:03:42

No, I'm kidding. Uh no, man, I I I hope that um I hope that that that if you're listening to this, that you'll know that you can be successful as a husband. Uh, you can have a successful marriage. Um, I I would want to remind people that marriage is work for it to be a good marriage, um, but it's not hard work and it's not impossible. If you're in a difficult season of your marriage, I want you to know that you can get through that difficult season. We do marriage conferences occasionally. And uh anytime we do a marriage conference, I always, you know, hey, who's been married 10 years, 20 years, 30 years? Man, when I get those folks that are 30 years and up, I say, all right, now for those who've been here, you've been married 30 years, every one of those years has been great, right? And uh, and they just they just die laughing. It's so great, especially when you do it with a church because everybody knows each other and they'll look at these couples that are, you know, in their 60s. They've been married forever, and uh, and then usually they're willing to share a little testimony about the fact, you know, we've been married for 35, 40, 50 years, but there were some difficult seasons in that marriage. And you'll see those people that are that are younger in their their relationship that just sort of um put this couple up on a pedestal and they kind of look askance at it and look funny. But what do you mean? There were difficult years in there. And and I I just I hope that if you're listening to this, that you'll hear me to say that you might have a difficult year or two in your marriage. And if you do, that just means you have a normal marriage. And rather than focus on how bad it is in the moment, consider the victory for a marriage that survives the difficult years and makes it to 20 or 30 years. And it's it's an incredible blessing. Angela and I have been married for one year. Um, we were living in Sparkwork, South Carolina. We've been married for one year. Uh, it was our anniversary, and we were at the grocery store. And uh I talked to everybody, as you can tell by how much I've spoken on this podcast. And um we uh I we were picking up some food, and the guy standing there asked about uh dinner or something. I said, it's our anniversary. We're getting food for our anniversary dinner. He said, Wow, one year. I said, Yeah, thanks, man. Uh he said, that's incredible. Um he said, my wife and I have been married 10 years. And it just like it just hit me like a like a ton of bricks right there in the moment. I said, dude, you're the one that should be celebrated. A one year of marriage is easy. 10 years, and that's something to celebrate, you know? And you know, 20 years is something to celebrate. 30 years is something to celebrate. So I would just encourage you, if you've been married for 10, 15, 20 years, and I you find yourself in a difficult spot today, um, consider what it could look like. The testimony of God's grace, the glory that God would receive. If y'all can find a way to hold on through these rough spots and get over it for the sake of your kids, right? For the sake of your community, for the glory of God, and to see how God might strengthen you and make you even better together on the other side. Just hold on. It's possible. You can overcome the challenges in your relationship.

Chris Grainger: 1:07:02

Amen. Amen, Craig. Where do you want to send guys? Obviously, you guys got to get a copy of the book, Fighting for Your Marriage. Where do you want to connect connect with you, Craig? I mean, any place you'd like to direct them.

Craig Thompson: 1:07:13

Yeah, I mean, the book, the book's available on Amazon. That's the easiest place to find it. Um, I have a website. It's www.makeitordinary.org. Um, I have a podcast called the Ordinary Christian Podcast. Um, that's probably aiming at a lot of the same uh same guys and same um uh audience that that this podcast is. I'd love for you to come and and uh be a part of that. If you do pick up a copy of the book and read it, uh please uh please think about leaving us a comment um or uh a review on Amazon. It really helps us to get the word out about the book if you're willing to do that. Um and and feel free to reach out to me. I'd I'd love to hear what you have to say about the book. So thanks so much for having me on here, Chris. It's a real honor. This has been phenomenal for sure.

Chris Grainger: 1:07:57

Any any any place on social media they could connect or follow with you that you want to give me a channel?

Craig Thompson: 1:08:02

I'm Craig Thompson on uh Instagram. I'm Craig Thompson on uh on uh Twitter. I don't tweet a lot. I'm trying to do a little bit better on on Instagram because uh apparently that matters. Maybe I'll be a social media influencer one day. It's my spear.

Chris Grainger: 1:08:17

There you go. There you go. Well, Craig, this has been an honor. Thank you so much. Anything else you'd like to share today? Brother, I just appreciate the honor and privilege to be here. Yes, sir. Well, you have a great day. You too. All right, guys. I told you that was gonna be a great one. So thankful for Craig for sharing. Question of the week I want to share with you this week is which area of your life is competing with God for first place? We all have something, right? So, what what area is it? Okay, and that may be the area that we need to lay down or we need to repent from. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just trying to bring awareness. Like we all have areas that that sometimes they take a little bit more too much of our time, too much priority. Whatever that is, time to turn it over. Okay. So again, fun conversation with Craig. So thankful for him for coming on the show. Head over to thelionwithin.us to find all the resources, particularly for this episode, as well as all the all of our other resources. Uh, the Bible app, guys. I'm telling you, this has been probably the number one place we've been connecting with guys. We have tons and tons of plans on the Bible app. They're all written directly towards men, fellas. We're not writing to anything else. We're not writing to kids, we're not writing to women, we're not writing to couples, we're writing to men. Okay. And if you need encouragement, if you're looking for some encouragement along the way, those are some great resources for you. So thelionwithin.us, you can click on the Bible plans, you'll see them all right there. Or just search for, open up the Bible app you're right now and just search for the Lion Within. You'll find our page. And on that page has all the plans that we have out there, fellas. And I'm telling you, uh, you you're not going to be short on resources there, okay? Get a copy of our book, Unleashing Alion Within. That's a great resource resource for you as well. That can be found on Amazon. Uh so again, connect with us there. But the LionWithin.us, that's how you can get your daily spiritual kickoff, the community, or maybe you want to put in an application for the leadership mastermind to see if you qualify and see if it would work for you. So all those resources are available for you there, okay? All right. So look, come back on Friday. You know, we're doing our member spotlights on Fridays, fellas. So looking forward to you meeting to meeting our next member. Uh, they're just these are always so much fun for me. So look forward to seeing you there uh at that episode. Other than that, ratings and review help big time. So if you do if you wouldn't mind giving us that, that'd be awesome. And if you just want to support the show, the lionwithin.us slash donate. You can connect with us right there, all right? Guys, have a great day. Get after. Thank you for hanging out with us on for this episode. And remember, just keep unleashing the lion within. If you're like me, you don't need another book just sitting around collecting dust. What I enjoy is something to help guide me when my feet hit the ground in the mornings. And that is why we put together Unleashing the Lion Within. It has honest stories, scripture you can apply, and simple steps to help you lead at home, at work, and everywhere in between. So if you've been feeling stuck or scattered lately, you may find this resource encouraging. Read a few pages, take one step and watch what God does with your obedience. Hey, and if reading's tough for you right now, no problem. The book is also available in audible version so you can listen on the go. So if this sounds interesting, check out thelionwithin.us slash book or search for unleashing the lion within directly on Amazon. So there's no pressure here, just a resource that many guys are finding helpful. So grab the format that fits and take your next step.