Chris Grainger: 0:53

Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intended you to be. I'm your host, chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, this is your meat episode. Let's get right into it, okay?

Chris Grainger: 1:03

So the scripture of the week this week is in the book of Ecclesiastes, the fourth chapter, the tenth verse. It says for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion, but woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Guys, if you get a chance, go back and listen to the spiritual kickoff episode. If you missed it. I took some time to unpack that verse at length to help you simplify and apply it to your life. Hopefully, you'll find it encouraging. This is a very difficult verse for me to work through right now and I was really trying to be as transparent as I could be in that spiritual kickoff episode. So go back, listen to it.

Chris Grainger: 1:41

We also do the spiritual kickoff Monday through Friday every day in our Lion Within Us community. We offer it for free. So if you enjoy the spiritual kickoff episodes, it's almost guaranteed you'll enjoy the spiritual kickoffs we do Monday through Friday. Again, it's all found at thelionwithinus, start your daily spiritual kickoff. You'll see it right there on the main page. It's 100% free. It gets you into our platform as well. We don't put this content anywhere else, so it's not like we're sharing it anywhere. So, again, if you want to see that, if you want to have some encouragement each and every day, it's a great way to lean in.

Chris Grainger: 2:18

Okay, so for this conversation, I'm super pumped to have back Pastor Tim Timberlake Love working with him. He is the global senior pastor of Celebration Church and has 17 locations located in Jacksonville, florida. I mean, tim is just a great guy. If you remember him on the show he's been, he's been a previous guest, uh, he is from from where I'm from here back in, uh, north Carolina. Actually, his the original church is right there in North Carolina, so it's uh, so it's pretty cool to have those ties again. He's uh, just a great, great guy. Avid sports fan out of Jacksonville, now with his wife and his son, and Tim when he's pouring into others, which you're going to hear in this conversation, that's when he comes to life, fellas. So hopefully you're going to enjoy this conversation with my friend, pastor Tim Timberlake.

Tim Timberlake: 3:15

Okay.

Chris Grainger: 3:16

Well, Tim, welcome back to the Lion Within Us. How are you doing today?

Tim Timberlake: 3:19

Doing very well. Thank you so much for having me back on and honored to have this conversation with you.

Chris Grainger: 3:26

For sure. I mean it's a very timely one. I'll reveal why here in a minute, once we get started, but I'm just curious, since we recorded together last, it was probably 2023, what's new in your life?

Tim Timberlake: 3:38

Man, I like to say a bunch of the same that's absolutely new. Okay, you know it's a bunch of the same, but it looks new. It's a new day and so, approaching it and kind of addressing those things as they kind of come, you know, life every single day presents new victories and new challenges, and I think the longer we live, the more we have to get accustomed to navigating, day by day, different and with the nuance that each day requires and deserves. And so, not a lot new, a lot fresh, for sure. I think if everything is new, something is wrong. So I would say it's more fresh than new.

Chris Grainger: 4:24

I like that Fresh. Fresh better than new. There you go. Well, I'm blessed you sent me a copy of this book and I'm going to give you a kind of behind the scenes, tim, on the way I work. So usually I get, I get lots of books and I definitely try to read all of them. Guilty, I'm not always able to, so I put this one to the side. I'm like this is Tim's, it's going to be awesome, can't wait to read it. I know we were recording today. Well, on Saturday I was working on my farm here in Cremor that's right Close to your family church, absolutely. A tree fell and broke my ankle, oh no, it crushed me and my foot was jelly. Ambulance had to come, oh man.

Chris Grainger: 5:11

So right now I got it on a boot underneath the table here on the studio. I wasn't canceling recording you don't cancel that so.

Chris Grainger: 5:22

I was sitting there, they discharged me. I have surgery scheduled for next Wednesday, so I'm in a boot right now. But they discharged me Saturday late and I got home and this book was sitting next to the bed. I'm like all right, lord, you put this off for now, so within the next several hours. I just dug into it and I read it cover to cover and I will tell you what. The chapter one which we'll dive into for sure is where I'm at, because, as a guy on the farm, I do it all, I do so much, and the fact is now the Lord has literally said nope you got to ask for help.

Chris Grainger: 6:02

And then I opened this up, your chapter one. No thanks, I'm good.

Tim Timberlake: 6:06

Like that's been my life man.

Chris Grainger: 6:08

And so just walk us through, like why you wrote the book or I mean what? Obviously I know a lot now just because I literally just read it. Yeah, Give me some insight behind the drive, behind this one.

Tim Timberlake: 6:20

Absolutely. I think, you know, particularly as men I know we had a lot of men listen to this podcast I think, particularly as men, we have this sense of I can take this journey by myself, and some of us have the mentality I would rather take this journey by myself and some of us have the mentality I would rather take this journey by myself. And the reality is is that on this bumpy road we call life, you may be able to take it by yourself, but it would be unenjoyable. You have to walk this road out with somebody and my prayer is that people listening to this would, number one, walk it out with Jesus. Number two, walk it out in community to allow and assure us that we're not on this journey of life alone.

Tim Timberlake: 7:06

And I'm kind of in the process of looking back over some of the things in my life that I could have better walked alongside of people in, and I think the message of Jesus Christ will continually be written in our life as long as we are alive. And the bumpy road to better is just kind of a comma in the journey of life and some of the obstacles, some of the hurdles, some of the traumas and the triggers that I've endured and overcome that have led me to this stage and to this point in life, and so that's kind of the premise behind it. It's unlocking the power of hard things, and I believe you know, oftentimes in life we pray for miracles but we avoid the hard seasons and the hard things where the miracles will be provided for us, and so if we run from the hard things, we'll never be able to see the miracles and the breakthroughs the way Jesus intends for us to Right right, 100%, I mean.

Chris Grainger: 8:13

The very first example you gave was about your LASIK surgery. And as I was sitting there, literally asking my wife to bring me everything.

Tim Timberlake: 8:20

I was like I can, I'm feeling this right now.

Chris Grainger: 8:24

So, but I mean you're you're. I mean, you're just like me. You're a big guy, you're a strong guy, You're very capable. So I can only imagine in that season how difficult that was to you know you can't do it.

Tim Timberlake: 8:36

You have to reach out.

Tim Timberlake: 8:36

Not only are you dependent on someone, but you can't see clearly. You know, and so you have to trust that what you think is there is actually there, and I think that's a great depiction of faith right Now. Faith, according to Hebrews, chapter 11, verse one, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. When you close your eyes and you stand up and you have to find your way back to your seat, that takes an element of faith, that takes an element of believing that what you cannot see will actually be there when you need it to be the most. And so I think, in life, when we depend on Jesus and we anchor our faith in him, the things that we cannot see he's actually providing and he's performing. It's not our job to perform, it's our job to believe and anchor our faith in him, and he provides and he performs. And so I think if we can get accustomed to that, I think if we can make that a daily rhythm, it makes this road that is very bumpy a lot better Right.

Chris Grainger: 9:39

You also mentioned like five reasons that guys don't ask for help. I'm just going to call them out real quick. I'm curious for you, though which? Which one do you feel like you fall into the most? And then also, which one do you hear other guys Is there? Is there a common one that you think guys tend to gravitate to? But you say you don't know what you don't know. You've always done things on your own, so that guilty as charged.

Chris Grainger: 10:04

You think it's not okay not to be okay. You're embarrassed to admit you need help, or you just like to be in control. So which one for you?

Tim Timberlake: 10:15

the stumbling block. Mine is I've always done things on my own, and so I was the only boy in my family by birth. My parents adopted two more sons later on in life, but I grew up with sisters and so, although I was in a house full of people, I was by myself and I got that's why you're so tough, that's it, that's it, man. So them girls wore me out, man, but I got accustomed to doing things alone. I got accustomed to doing things by myself, and you just develop a rhythm in life of being content with being surrounded by people but still doing things alone. And I think you know that's one of the challenges I still have today at 41, working through navigating. No, I have capable people around me that desire to do these things with me, that desire to do these things with me, and so to yield and to be pliable and flexible, to do those things with the people that I love. It's very important, and so it's. It may be quicker to do it alone, but you'll last longer doing it alongside of somebody else.

Chris Grainger: 11:30

A hundred percent, a hundred percent. I know, for me too, so many guys that come into the lion, I think. Number five, you know you, you like to be in control. That seems to be one that keeps rising up for lots of folks, you know, this has been one for me too, because I definitely I'm a I'm a self-proclaimed control freak and. I'm really praying over it. So I mean, where do you think that one? For so many guys seems it seems to be just a big stumbling block.

Tim Timberlake: 11:54

I think, because for so long men have never thought that they've had control. Their lives have always been controlled by other people. For instance, if you are a husband and a father, the majority of your time goes towards your family, your wife, providing for them, and there's very little time for yourself. And so the things that you can control, sometimes we over control and we micromanage because we have not had that opportunity or the margin to have any capacity to do things for ourselves. And so I think a little bit of it stems from that. You know, you think about it.

Tim Timberlake: 12:36

When the kids need something, they run to mama. When mama needs something, she runs to you. But who do we run to? You know, who do we turn to? And the majority of the time we suppress it and we tuck it, we hide it, we pack it away and we compartmentalize, because that is just what men do, naturally. And so we have this incredible way of compartmentalizing everything. And the best way for me to compare it men's minds are like malls. You know, we have our department stores, our big buckets, we have our smaller stores, but the majority of it is that hallway man, and a lot of times we get stuck in the hallway and we're in search for something, and we may not even know what we're in search for, but we know we're searching for something, searching for more, searching for significance, searching for fulfillment, and so whenever we get an opportunity to grab a hold of something that we think we can control I think that's why it's such a difficult thing to shake loose of, because we haven't had that, that time and that margin for ourselves.

Chris Grainger: 13:46

Yeah, that's a great reflection. Great reflection, all right. I'm curious because anytime I come across great acronyms, I just got to know, from a writer standpoint too. But the acronym on help, I've wrote it down, I've got it, I got to highlight it because it's probably one of the best acronyms I've heard in a long time. So I got to ask you straight up Is this yours? Is this original? To Tim it is.

Chris Grainger: 14:08

How'd you come up with it? And like, will you please walk, Cause I I'm telling you I just think there's guys listening that that HELP acronym could be a great blessing for them, because it blessed me in that moment just by reading it and thinking about it and praying through it. So I'd love for you just to kind of explain that.

Tim Timberlake: 14:24

Yeah, so you know all of these concepts really, they don't come from a place of man. I want this to be implemented before something happens. All of these concepts come from man. I wish I had known this before it happened and I wish someone would have taught me that. And so, without giving you know the whole thing away because I do want our men to read it it stems from a place of pain. It stems from a place of understanding what I could have done differently and trying to help the reader navigate the various seasons where they feel helpless and various seasons where they feel hopeless.

Tim Timberlake: 15:10

I believe those two things, they kind of run parallel to each other, and so the acronym gives guardrails and it gives guidance to navigate those things in a practical and applicable way, and that's what I wanted to do with that. And you'll see other things in the book that are very practical. But I wanted to take revelation. I wanted to take truth. Revelation. I want to take truth. I want to take knowledge and wisdom and make it super practical so that when the reader reads it, they can apply it immediately and not have to wonder okay, how does this apply to my life? And so I've learned that an acronym helps to make things memorable.

Chris Grainger: 15:48

An acronym helps to make things retainable, so yeah, well, I would just say this home run on that. I mean that that one when I cause I read so many books and and sometimes it can feel like you're just going through them again, and for sure, it's the same thing, said differently, but this was extremely unique and, uh, I'm all about being applicable as well.

Chris Grainger: 16:10

So that was. That was huge. So, guys, if you're struggling and you need some help right now, just get the book, just for that. I mean, that would be huge for you, for sure. And one thing you call out throughout the book as well is how many guys, or people in general, really want quick fixes or trouble-free lives, fixes or trouble free lives, and and um, there's a lot of resistance out there to anything that causes us, causes us, discomfort. You know, people, they don't want that, they don't want to go through the hard part. It's like the old saying everybody wants to be strong, but no one wants to be sore, like you got to go through the store to be strong. So so I'm just curious you know what, what, what's your, uh, what would you be your reflection on that?

Tim Timberlake: 16:55

Yeah, so I. I utilize the story in the book in another part, but it applies to what we're talking about now. Everybody wants to be victorious and triumph, but no one wants to go through the process of battling to get the victory. I use the story in 2023, uh, the Jacksonville Jaguars are playing the Los Angeles Chargers and they go down substantially. So I'm at the game.

Tim Timberlake: 17:23

As a matter of fact, I'm on the sidelines before the game talking to the players, and everybody is excited, hopeful. This is a chance for them to break into the playoffs. And so first quarter, they're down. Second quarter, it seems impossible. Excuse me, off the top of my head, I think the score going into halftime was 27 to 3. And I remember at halftime thinking to myself man, I probably should go down to that locker room. You know what I'm saying. I need to go down there and check on these guys and see.

Tim Timberlake: 18:01

And I remember they came out of that locker room, chris, and despite the score, they were optimistic, they had expectation, they had anticipation. And one of my guys shout out Daniel Thomas, incredible safety for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I remember him saying on the sidelines guys, we've been here before, we've been here before. God told me that the victory wouldn't come easy, but if we fight for it we'll get it. And he just kept saying we've been here before and I think when you're going through those hardships, when you're going through those battles, when you're going through those moments, you got to remind yourself that God is the same yesterday, today and forevermore. And if he's bought other great men and women out of the challenges and the trials that they had faced, then he surely will bring you out of the trials and the situations that you currently face. And I think that's important for us to really remember and and keep in context at the forefront of our mind, to know this too shall pass.

Chris Grainger: 19:11

That's right. And in that story and that account rather than I mean that from the book they turned it around in the second half. Yeah, it was a nail-biter. They won by one point.

Tim Timberlake: 19:22

Won by one point, with no seconds on the clock. They won by a field goal and that stadium was electric, but it wasn't always like that. As a matter of fact, almost half of the stadium emptied out because they thought that the game was over. And as the game got a lot closer, people started to repopulate them seats.

Tim Timberlake: 19:47

And it's funny because the same thing applies in life when people can't see how God is going to give you victory, they're a lot less active in your life than they are from understanding and knowing.

Tim Timberlake: 20:02

And so you know, I always say seasons where God is revealing things and pulling back things are seasons where you do inventory on what relationships have sustained the test of time and those are the pillars of your life that you hang your hat on and you really anchor, you know true depth and meaning and relationships in. And so we go through those seasons. You know where the waves of life they crash in and it seems like oh man, this is great, but we don't like when the wave recedes. But when the wave recedes it shows what needs to be cleaned out. And some of our men are in that season right now, on this bumpy road where the wave is now going out and they're saying, okay, this needs to be cleaned up, this needs to be picked up. Don't rush through that season. Honor that season, walk it out with Jesus and I'm telling you your life will be so much better because you've taken the time to steward this moment so well.

Chris Grainger: 21:07

I've got something big to share. We're making a major shift because we know the battle is real and it's time more men had access to the support they need. For too long, guys have been trying to carry the weight alone pressure at work, tension at home, wounds from the past in a world that demands strength but offers no place to rest. We see it, we've lived it, and that's exactly why we built our community. It's a stronghold, a place where warriors can find rest, truth and a band of brothers standing beside them. And starting now, we're making it easier than ever to step in.

Chris Grainger: 21:41

We've lowered the barrier to just $15.99 a month. That means, for less than the cost of a drive-thru lunch, you can join a brotherhood that's centered on Christ and built for growth. Inside you'll find access to our daily spiritual kickoffs every Monday through Friday, our Lion Lunches, our Bible Studies, our Friday Forge Gatherings all that and so much more. Every man needs a stronghold, and you don't have to fight alone. If you've been waiting for the right time to jump in, this is it. Go to thelionwithinus and join the community and see for yourself what happens when iron truly sharpens iron. What about the guy, though, who doesn't want any support during that season Because you talked about you know. No thanks, I'm good, I totally get that.

Chris Grainger: 22:26

I hear guys say that all the time. What about it? Because that can come off for many guys as an indication of weakness. Yeah, you know, when you're having to ask for help and support. So what do you say to the guy who's walking through that right now? And that's what he's saying no thanks, I'm good.

Tim Timberlake: 22:43

Yeah, I would encourage that brother. Seek it out before it becomes a necessity. And what I mean by that is we all think we can make it on our own until we hit the level of pain where we can't avoid asking for help. And so you mentioned something that that man, I hate for you. You got a broken leg right. The pain and the severity of that leg was so intense that you had to get help. There was no avoiding it. You would not be able to utilize your leg the way it's intended to be used if you had not get help. There was no avoiding it. You would not be able to utilize your leg the way it's intended to be used if you had not gotten help. The reason a lot of men have not asked for help is because we have not hit a level of pain that requires help, and life has a crazy way of bringing us to that point if we don't get help in time. And so I would encourage those brothers that think, man, I don't need it, I'm good, I can, I can do this by myself.

Tim Timberlake: 23:40

The reality is is God did not create you to do life alone. He did not create you to walk out this journey by yourself. He did not create you to live life in a bubble. He created you to live life in community. He created you to live life in community. He created you to live life under accountability. He created you to live life with guardrails and guidelines to help lead you closer to him. And so I would say tap into that, get familiar and really involved in godly community around you so that you can be sharpened. Scripture teaches us in the Old Testament that iron sharpens iron, and there is no sharpening if there isn't first friction. And so I think that we have to apply that. We can't apply a partial truth, we have to apply the whole truth. And God himself lives out eternity in community. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. If the triune nature of God is community, then he's created us in his image to live and walk out the same.

Chris Grainger: 24:45

I'm curious from you, though I mean so many guys, the younger generation, well, all generations. Now, though these things right here, this is my smartphone. They distorted our idea of community and what that actually is in relationships. Generations now, though, these these things right here have just this, my smartphone. They they've distorted our idea of community and what that actually is in relationships. So, like, how do you help that guy who you know is actually just you know, uh, playing video games and not actually going out to engaging in the real world very often? So what do you do to pull that guy out of that digital world? And actually, okay, you got to have some real brothers.

Chris Grainger: 25:15

You know, flesh to flesh, knee to knee, elbow to elbow types of conversations, absolutely.

Tim Timberlake: 25:20

Yeah, I think it's okay to start there, but you have to have a vital part of community, which is accountability, and there is no accountability without authenticity.

Tim Timberlake: 25:33

And I think that, in order to be in community, there has to be accountability that flows both ways, so that you can know exactly who you're in this friendship or this relationship with.

Tim Timberlake: 25:46

And so I think that the way culture and society defines friends now has to be relooked at, because we define friends by the click of a button. Friends now has to be relooked at, because we define friends by the click of a button. And you know, for us to really dig deep into these relationships, we have to spend time with people, and I'm not saying it has to always be in person, but I am saying it has to be a time that's not spent being distracted by other things, because that's, you know, kind of deflecting away from the purpose of spending time in the first place. And so I would encourage that, brother, or even those, those, those great women of God that are listening right now, don't utilize crutches to prop up relationships. Allow whatever God has instructed you to do for this season, whether it's a friendship or relationship, to be bought together and kept together by number one, his spirit, and then the second thing by healthy communication, healthy boundaries, healthy expectations, and implement something that I call no technology hour, where you're just spending time together with no technology.

Chris Grainger: 27:01

Okay, no technology hour. That's good. There you go, yeah. Now, when we're listening to God, when we're obeying and growing, eventually usually he's chipping away and he's calling us to redirect, to reframe, and that requires change, and change is is hard. I loved your, your, the way you've made the connection to the pivot foot and basketball and the reason that the pivot foot exists, what you're ultimately trying to do. So would you mind just exploring that a little bit on, because I feel like that's a really great way for guys who are maybe getting ready to enter a season of change to reframe it and think about it differently, absolutely.

Tim Timberlake: 27:38

Me and you are from, you know, the greatest basketball capital in the world. There you go. The triangle has produced some of the greatest athletes that mankind has ever known, and you know the rivalries between Duke and Carolina are historic. And when you look at the history of great basketball in the triangle, you see that the foundation of it is fundamentals. A part of that fundamental is the pivot and being able to position yourself where you have options to make a decision. And in life, I believe it's our, you know, obligation to position ourself where we can receive all of the options needed to make a decision in following the spirit of God. And so I played basketball growing up and I was pretty good at it, and one of the things that I knew is if I can get to my pivot foot, I have control of the defender, I can dictate where I want to go, I can determine if I pass, if I shoot, if I dribble, and so there's a lot of power in the pivot, and a lot of us think that we're blocked, a lot of us think that we are cornered, when in fact, god has positioned you to make a pivot. And and the pivot is powerful if you utilize it for purpose. And so you know, I would say to our listeners position yourself to pivot from hard situations. Hard circumstances, don't run from them, just pivot from them, because I believe in those situations and seasons. They produce something that's meaningful. And so one of the things I posted this a few days ago, but a lot of times the mountain isn't moving in our life because God desires for us to climb it. And so, instead of us praying all the time that God would move us or God would move the mountain, we have to pivot those prayers and say, ok, god, give me the strength to climb this, give me the strength to scale it, give me the strength to get over what it is that I need to get over, give me the strength to get over what it is that I need to get over. And when we start praying the right things, god starts revealing the things that we have been praying to see. And that's a passage in scripture. It says if you ask, I shall give.

Tim Timberlake: 30:15

And so often we think, ok, I can ask for anything and God's going to do it and you'll, you'll, you'll find out very quickly, specifically, if you've been walking with the Lord any amount of time, there are very few prayers that you pray for that are answered the same way that you pray them In the original context of that scripture is, if you ask what God is already saying, then you'll see what God is actually saying. And when we pray the prayers that God is speaking, when we pray the mind of Christ, when we pray the heart of the father, then we begin to see those things unfold and begin to take place the way that he desires for them to take place in our life. And so, instead of thinking solely on what we want, I think this is a season for us to pivot as men and say okay, god, what is it that you desire? What is it that you want? What is it that you have in store?

Tim Timberlake: 31:06

I want to pray those things, and so something that I started praying is God, would you do these things, whatever that is, a, b, c, d, e or something better Because I want God's best, I want his best. I want his plan to be revealed and unveiled in my life, his purpose to be pushed to the forefront. That's what I want. So I encourage our brothers to do the same thing Just whatever it is that God has placed on your heart, pray those things, but at the end say oh.

Tim Timberlake: 31:34

God something better. Whatever you want to do, I am willing and I'm ready to receive whatever he has, because if God gives it to me, it's way better than what I could have expected and anticipated in the first place.

Chris Grainger: 31:47

Got that right A hundred percent. I know one thing when I was reading that and working through it and just wrestling with that the way you were talking to the pivot foot, I really appreciate how you talked about it creates space, because I never really thought about that. But yeah, it creates the space. And guys, our schedules are so jammed up, from meeting, the meeting, to engagement to engagement, I mean usually from the time our eyes open in the morning to the time we lay down at night. There's something pulling at our time all the time, and the evil one. He likes to distract us and keep us busy.

Chris Grainger: 32:19

So I really appreciate how you said that pivot put creates the space, and now fill that space with. Okay, God, what do you have for me? I don't know if that's where you were hoping to direct it, but that's where I went when I was reading it.

Tim Timberlake: 32:30

Yeah, Again, you take that pivot analogy and it gives you three options and those options leaves the defender in our life, the enemy, unknowing of what comes next. And I think it's something powerful in scripture when you read the Old Testament In scripture, when you read the Old Testament, you never see prophecies that had great detail. You never see prophecies that gave specific times, specific dates, specific places all combined. You just don't find that. Even when in Isaiah it's talking about the Messiah and his crucifixion and his torture, it gives us enough details to know that it's talking about Jesus. It gives us enough details to know what is going to happen, but it doesn't give us a timeline as to when. And the reason the Bible gives us prophecies in that format in the Old Testament is so the enemy would not know what was coming and try to stop the plan and the purpose of God.

Tim Timberlake: 33:41

And I think in our lives we have to remember that, like God creates enough space in our life to where the enemy has no clue what's coming next.

Tim Timberlake: 33:48

And if we trust in him and we create space in our schedules, we create space in our day to day.

Tim Timberlake: 33:54

We create space in our schedules, we create space in our day-to-day, we create space in our life to spend time with him, prioritize that relationship. It puts more space between us and the enemy and that, to me, is the power of that spiritual pivot. You know, more time with God means I'm getting more of his presence, I'm receiving the fruits of more of his power and I am being empowered by the spirit of God to continue to fight, continue to defend, continue to war off every tactic, every plan of the enemy. And that doesn't come if I don't produce that space through that pivot. And so I think we've gotten accustomed to settling for very busy lives and not very productive lives, and there's a difference. There's a difference between being productive and being busy, settling for very busy lives and not very productive lives, and there's a difference. There's a difference between being productive and being busy is when we utilize that pivot and the power of the pivot to create that margin, that space, that we get an opportunity to transition from being just busy to now being productive.

Chris Grainger: 34:52

Great, great, great insight, tim. Thank you so much for that. Absolutely One thing that and I'll keep.

Chris Grainger: 34:59

I know I feel like I'm bashing digital technology but, I, just can't help, but the chapter about saying what we need to say around the hard conversations. So many guys struggle now with actually being expressive with their words. Either they don't know how to do it or they go completely to just anger and wrath and that's all that spews out and there's a difference there. I mean, yeah, jesus, split some tables, but if that's your go-to scripture every time we talk, we should understand. You know, that was a couple, maybe two instances where he did that.

Chris Grainger: 35:33

So I don't know what encouragement would you have to the guys out there who are really struggling with how to navigate these difficult conversations in life, because we got to figure this out in order to really move the ball forward.

Tim Timberlake: 35:45

Yeah Well, scriptural approach is to go to the person first and bring them into your peace. Don't allow them to bring you into their chaos. Bring them into your peace, explain and express what has either offended you, hurt you, position you in this place where you have to have the conversation in the first place. If that does not work, then bring in a neutral mediator, someone that can help navigate that conversation with you. And then, if that does not work, then bring in a neutral mediator, someone that can help navigate that conversation with you. And then, if that does not work, then shake the dust off your feet, keep moving forward, don't worry about it. It's not on you to make someone else like you or treat you a certain way, but it is your responsibility to determine and decide how you respond and how you react to it. And so we can't control how other people live, but we can control our actions and our response to their decisions. And I think that, as men, we have to be more calculated, more intentional, more spirit led in our approach to that and not avoid it.

Tim Timberlake: 36:49

Avoidance does not create strength. If I say I want to get stronger and I avoid the gym, I have no desire to get stronger. But if I desire to get stronger, I have to actually put in the work, I have to actually sit under the weight, I have to actually put in to place, practicing resistance to get stronger. We can't say that we want to grow in our walk, grow as men and avoid resistance and confrontation and hard conversations. That's not growth, that's the opposite. And so we have to really reassess.

Tim Timberlake: 37:23

Why are we running Number one? Why are we avoiding Number two? And is it actually producing the fruit that we desire to see? And the reality is is, when you ask those three questions, the answer for all of them is no, no and no. And so going back to the drawing board and saying, okay, how can I have this difficult conversation, this hard conversation, lay it with the spirit of love to the lens of peace and then have it and make sure that it's all stewarded through the grace of Jesus Christ, the love of Jesus Christ, and giving to that person the same respect and rapport you would desire someone to give to you.

Chris Grainger: 38:04

in that heart conversation I understand. Well, I really appreciate you just unpacking that and trying to give the guys some reflections on that. Tim, I mean, when you were working through this book, what was, what were the some of the harder chapters to write?

Tim Timberlake: 38:16

Man, I think hard people, um hard conversations, um hard ask, um.

Tim Timberlake: 38:25

You know, there's a portion in there where, uh, I jokingly talk about when my wife says we need to talk, understanding what that means, you know, and navigating all of it through the lens of grace and through the lens of wanting to grow. And so each chapter was challenging in its own right, but those kind of stick out to me. You know, chapter 16 was another one that was challenging when I talk about some of the childhood traumas that I've endured and overcome. And you know, it's one of those things where, on this side, I don't know that I would change anything because it made me who I am today. But understanding man, even in those moments God was growing me, he was showing me the plans and the purpose that he had for me, and I pray that the difficult seasons of my life, the difficult moments that are written about in the book, help people navigate the various pains and tension points that they're walking through right now in their own journey intention points that they're walking through right now in their own journey.

Chris Grainger: 39:38

The last chapter I got a kick out of it because I have a farm and we have horses here, so when? You talk about eastbound on the south side of a mule, I'm like yeah, get that one.

Tim Timberlake: 39:50

I'm telling you, mccree Moyle.

Chris Grainger: 39:52

Butner man, the mule capital of America. But you're speaking to hard work. I mean, so many guys run from that. We were looking for the easy button. Staples, that commercial, just like that. That marketing was brilliant. The easy button is what everyone's looking for and sometimes you just got to dig in, get dirty and go to work, got to got to love it. Love it, tim. Well, I mean, as we wrap up, let's do it. We always like to do a lightning round. We already did one with you a couple of years ago, but I mixed it up for some new stuff for us.

Tim Timberlake: 40:21

So if you want to play, we'll jump in.

Chris Grainger: 40:23

Absolutely For sure. Okay, so I don't think I asked you this in the past, but if, if you, had a superpower, Tim, like what would it be and how would you use it?

Tim Timberlake: 40:35

Man, that's a great question. I think if I had a superpower, it would have something to do with time.

Chris Grainger: 40:46

Okay.

Tim Timberlake: 40:48

Whether the slow down time speed up time. I don't necessarily think it would be a time machine per se, but just the ability to, you know, bend time a little bit, get some moments back speed some moments up. You know what I'm saying. So often we find ourselves stuck in season and we're like, okay, god, when in the world is this season in? To be able to press fast forward a little bit would be, I think, a pretty cool superpower.

Chris Grainger: 41:14

Got it. So now I'm going a pretty cool superpower Got it, got it. So now I'm going to test your spiritual gift right here. See if you have the spiritual gift of prophecy.

Tim Timberlake: 41:21

All right, so when?

Chris Grainger: 41:23

is it going to be the Jags year Tim?

Tim Timberlake: 41:26

When is it going to be? I think that this year is going to be a good year. I think that this year is going to be a 10-win season, I think, as far as, like our year, where we, you know, really shake up a lot of different things. I think that will be next year, so I think we'll make significant strides this year. I think next year will be a great year for us.

Chris Grainger: 41:46

See, now you're sounding like an NC State fan, like we're always talking about. They're always next year.

Tim Timberlake: 41:50

You know, no, no, no, you know. I always say you know you don't trust a wolf. That's pretty good, it's pretty good, all right.

Chris Grainger: 42:04

So let's go back to marriage. What's a marriage tip you wish you had learned earlier man.

Tim Timberlake: 42:11

Uh, I think one of the most powerful things that we all can learn is men that are married, as we mentioned before, just understanding the power of doing things together, not being sil solo, not trying to do everything by yourself, but really partnering and understanding that your wife is your help, me and vice versa, your husband is your helper, and so you know. Walking that out, I wish I had had learned the significance and the power of just doing things together, carrying and stewarding and distributing the weight of life together. There you go, instead of trying to shoulder it all.

Chris Grainger: 42:51

Okay, how about debunk a myth that's out there, tim around pastors, people have their visions and ideas of what you do. Is there a myth that you just want to debunk right now?

Tim Timberlake: 43:05

I think one of the greatest myths is that all pastors are corrupt. All pastors want your money. All pastors live a certain type of way. You know those are myths websites tearing down pastors and ministers, churches and people in ministry than any other type of blog, and I just think that that's because number one, either, people have been hurt by people. We utilize culture and society I should say, utilize this language like church hurt. I've been church hurt and I always tell people the church has not hurt you, people in the church has hurt you, and so there's a significant difference between that. But you know, there are some incredible pastors out there that live their life with godly character and integrity. Um and so I think that's one that that needs to be debunked.

Chris Grainger: 44:01

Love it. Thank you for doing that Absolutely. How about, uh, your go to app Like what's the app on your phone that you find yourself? You couldn't live without any of them.

Tim Timberlake: 44:10

jump out devotionals. There's, of course, the Bible app. That is incredible as well. Those apps, man, they guide me, they are very good discipleship resources that I think we should all apply to our daily lives that provide more than just reading scripture, but videos, in-depth conversations around what you've just read, resources provided to you as to how you can go deeper in scripture.

Chris Grainger: 44:52

So, yeah, Okay, I have to check out Glorify. I'm not familiar with that one, I'm an author on the Bible app. So I have tons of studies on the Bible app. People love those. I'm trying to write about two a month. But I have to check out glorified. Does that have the Bible studies as well in the plans? It does, Okay, yeah.

Chris Grainger: 45:12

Okay, it does All right, we'll have to check it out and see if we can get to lie in on that. All right, good deal, tim. Last question for you is what do you hope the guys listening remember the most from our conversation today?

Tim Timberlake: 45:24

That life is never meant to be easy, but through it we grow, we grow stronger, we grow a deeper love for Jesus. Through it we get an understanding of who God is as a father, because of those seasons. And so I would say don't avoid the hard things. Lean into them, because they make you stronger.

Chris Grainger: 45:45

Amen, Amen, brother, when you want to send folks to get a copy of the book. Connect with you all the stuff you're doing on social media as well.

Tim Timberlake: 45:52

Absolutely Go to the bumpy road to bettercom, Uh. You can check out all of my social handles on my website, timtemberlaketv. Uh, and it'll lead you to the various places where you can find me.

Chris Grainger: 46:04

All right. Well, pastor Tim has been great again having you back on the show. Thank you so much. Blessings for when the for the book and the launch, and look forward to hopefully connecting again in the future.

Tim Timberlake: 46:13

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on.

Chris Grainger: 46:18

Most men are fighting battles. No one sees Strain marriages, silent wounds, pressure to lead without a place to rest. That's why we created our community To help build, strength, sharpen and support brothers just like you. And now it's even easier to join than ever. We've lowered access to just $15.99 a month. Immediately, you'll get our daily spiritual kickoffs, our Bible studies, lion Lunches, friday Forge and so much more. Every man needs a stronghold and you don't have to fight alone. Join today at thelionwithinus that's thelionwithinus and get started today. All right, guys, I told you that was going to be a great one. Thank you again for Pastor Tim for sharing.

Chris Grainger: 47:05

Question of the week this week is is it hard for you to ask for help when you need it? We went through a whole lot of reasons just now fellas on why it's hard for lots of guys to do that, and if any of these you check the box, I get it. I check so many boxes. Going through this conversation with Tim and reading his book, it was unreal. So if it's hard for you, reach out and the easiest way to reach out just head over to TheLionWithinUs. Okay, thelionwithinus, let's connect. There's lots of ways you can connect there. If you download anything, I'm going to reach out to you and then, hopefully, we can have a conversation. If you just need a word of encouragement or simply somebody to pray for you, brother, I'm here. You are not alone. Do not let the evil one lie to you. Okay, all right, guys.

Chris Grainger: 47:46

So give us a rating review. Share this one with others as well, if you know guys out there, like buddies and things like that, who are going through a difficult season. This Bumpy Road to Better, I'm telling you, is a great book. It's a quick read I literally read this thing in a couple hours, so you can blitz through it but there's lots of good insights that are worth exploring. Okay so, the bumpy road to better. Guys, go check it out. Okay so, have a great day. Thank you for listening again to lionwithinus. Daily spiritual kickoff our community experience. If you want to apply for a leadership mastermind, you can do that there as well. Pick up your Bible app, check that out, see if we can connect with you on that also. Okay so, have a.