Chris Grainger: 1:02

Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I'm your host, chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, it's your meat episode. I'm excited to be here with you, so let's get right into it. So the scripture of the week this week is Galatians, chapter 6, verse 10. It says so. Then, as we have an opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. Fellas, love that scripture. Go back, listen to the spiritual kickoff episode where we unpack that at length to give you some ideas on how you simplify and apply that to your life as a Christian leader. And again, we do this every day the reflections on scripture inside the Lion Within Us community. So go start your 30-day free trial right now to get started.

Chris Grainger: 1:48

All right, that's thelionwithinus. So for this episode, I'm pumped up. This is going to be a fun one, guys. You're going to really like it.

Chris Grainger: 1:56

Kent Evans is the executive director and he also co-founded Manhood Journey. So this is a ministry that's out there helping dads become disciple makers. So that's really what it's all about. He and I we met, really just had a good instant connection out the gate. He sent me some of his material. It was just like all right, kent, let's work together. I'll be going on their show as well at some point. So we're just, we're really doing just some trying to support each other and the different things that we're doing to serve fathers, husbands, dads. You know, you know who you are, right.

Chris Grainger: 2:27

So he started about 20, 20 year business career and then he headed down this, this, this path on biblical fatherhood, and he's been on TV, radio, web outlets, podcasts. He's a Christian speaker, often unpacking parenting and different types of topics at different men's events. He's got three books out there. He's got the podcast, the Manhood Journey lots of tools, lots of resources. He's married. They've had five kids 29 years been married, by the way, fellas and he lives out there in Louisville, kentucky.

Chris Grainger: 3:05

So fun guy, lots of energy. You don't have to wake up, kent. I mean, when Kent gets going, it's just fun to sit back and just let him go and learn from him. So I'm hoping, if you're a dad right now, here's a little thing to consider. If you're a dad right now and you don't feel equipped and you feel like that you're just not fit, like I'm not sure, god, that you picked me, maybe I shouldn't be the dad, because you know all I do is screw up. I'm here to tell you Kenton is going to speak some truth to you. He's going to speak some encouragement to you and my prayer is, as you go through this and listen to this, you know, if you have any doubts, if you have any questions, reach out. Reach out, reach out to the Lion Within Us community for one, because we can speak that life right into you. So enjoy this conversation with my friend, kent Evans.

Kent Evans: 3:59

So, kent, welcome to the Lion Within Us. How are you doing today?

Chris Grainger: 4:03

Great, chris. Thanks for having me on. Brother man, I'm so excited to have you on. When we met the first time, there was just an energy about you. I knew this was going to be a good conversation. Before we even get into anything we're going to talk about, share something fun about you, man, that maybe not many people know about.

Kent Evans: 4:17

Man, what did not people know about? I have five boys. They may know that I've been married 29 boys, that they may know that I've been married 29 years. They may know that, um, I really love okay, this is a little quirky, since you said they may not know one of my very favorite bands of all time is the band elo. They played in like the 70s and 80s, the electric light orchestra. They were like one of the first bands to do the fusion of like orchestra music and rock music. Um, so I love their stuff, man. When I'm when I'm on a road trip, my kids are like, oh no, one of the first bands to do the fusion of like orchestra music and rock music. So I love their stuff, man. When I'm on a road trip, my kids are like, oh no, dad's going to play yellow. And I'm like, look man, y'all better figure this out Well.

Chris Grainger: 4:53

So what's the age range of the kids, kent? Let's see, our youngest is nine, and then we have 13 year old, 20, 22 and 25.

Kent Evans: 4:57

OK, OK, 25 down. Our youngest is nine, and then we have 13-year-old 20, 22, and 25. Okay, okay 25 down to nine, all boys. By the way, we have all sons, all boys, and one amazing daughter-in-law. One amazing daughter-in-law.

Chris Grainger: 5:10

Okay, so your wife man bless her heart. I mean, we got all girls and one boy, and the boy, he's something else. I can only imagine her patience.

Kent Evans: 5:21

Absolutely Well, and it began with me, so hey, there you go.

Chris Grainger: 5:26

That's right. That's right, that's right. Well, I'm just blessed that you know that we're able to sit here and have this conversation. I got the book Don't Bench Yourself and when I read it, I've been talking with a lot of guys about it ever since then, about just the way we disqualify ourselves. I mean, I love the metaphor and what inspired you to just to use that metaphor? Because I'm a baseball guy, so I'm like all right, you got me now.

Kent Evans: 5:50

Well, what's interesting is, man. I was at an event speaking in front of about 160 some odd guys and we did Q and A and the very first question that came out of the audience was what do you do when you feel like you're moving backward as a?

Chris Grainger: 6:03

believer.

Kent Evans: 6:05

Which is a great question, because you know, we've all felt that way and everybody in the room was nodding like, yeah, good one. You know, and it's kind of funny. You know you've done this, chris, where you prepare and you prepare for an event, whether it's a business event or a ministry event, and you've got tons of time and prep and slides, and you know you've pulled a zillion bible verses or whatever your content is, and then god just prompts you to say something off the cuff that was more meaningful or more relevant than all the prep and you think, man, I'm just going to quit preparing for these things. This is the dumbest idea ever. Um, because I did. I just said, hey, man, um, well, I don't. I want to tell you what you do when you feel like you're moving backward, but first I want to tell you what you do not do. And it just, that's just.

Kent Evans: 6:49

I just was, uh, you know, led to say that and I said the first thing you don't do is you don't bench yourself and I just used a metaphor we can all relate to, like in my era.

Kent Evans: 6:58

The big player, one of the players to watch in baseball in my era was Derek Jeter. Whether you love the Yankees or hate the Yankees, you have to tip your hat to. You know, he's one of the best players ever and I said here's what happens when he makes an error. When he used to make an error, he didn't just stomp off the field like a baby, throw his jersey down and throw his hat down, his glove down, go sit on the bench because he made an error.

Kent Evans: 7:22

But man, that's what a lot of us guys do. We make an error as a dad, make an error as a husband, and we just go, you know what, forget it. So we just retreat to, you know, our fantasy football or our golf habit or our alcohol or whatever we retreat to because we're going to bench ourselves, even though no one asked us to bench ourselves. So that's where the idea came from. It was a spur-of-the-moment comment, but it resonated with a lot of guys. They came up to me after and said man, that thing which is just hilarious, because I hadn't planned on saying that at all. So I've decided that's it. I now have two speaking gigs next year booked and I'm not going to prepare for either one.

Chris Grainger: 8:03

No, I'm just kidding, there you go.

Kent Evans: 8:04

I will prepare I will prepare.

Chris Grainger: 8:07

Well, it sounds like that was a spirit-led moment and definitely it resonated with a lot of guys. And you know you kind of lay out some really good steps here. I love how you break it down into just the two simple sections. But you know the why and you have several things and when I read it I was thinking around that the impatience and the fear jumped out to me. I'm just curious how did you come up with these four? Did you? Lots of conversations, I'm sure, but I always love to get you know. Writer's insights.

Kent Evans: 8:35

Yeah, honestly, man, I sat down and the first thing that came to mind was I wanted to do a two part book, kind of I wanted to talk about. The first thing that came to mind was I wanted to do a two-part book, kind of I wanted to talk about. The first thing that came to mind is why do we do this? That was the and that's kind of like the first section of the book it became. Then the second one was well, how do we get out? You know, I don't want to write this hopeless book. It just says here's the reason why, man, best of luck, uh call me if it works, it doesn't work out for you.

Kent Evans: 8:59

Uh, so I wanted to write a two-part book and then I thought, well, let's balance it. You know, I have a little bit of this marketing nerd in me I've been a marketing guy for a long time and so I wanted there to be four things in each one, and whether that's good or bad, you know, I don't know. And then I just thought I literally was just praying and asking God what are the main reasons and this isn't exhaustive. There may be 40 reasons, but what are the main reasons that we tend to?

Kent Evans: 9:27

pull ourselves out of something important and go to something less significant. So, for example because for me, the lens I passed all this through, chris was um, a lot of guys are especially if they're listening to this show they're christian men, they are married and they may have kids. If that's the case, then I already know something about some of the work God's called you to do. If you're a believer, I know some of the work God's called you to do Prayer, reading God's word, etc. If you're a husband, I know some of the work God's called you to do Love your wife as Christ loved the church. If you're a dad, I know some of the work God's called you to do.

Kent Evans: 10:08

Now, I may not know your exact context, but I thought, man, what is it that tempts us to get out of those? And, to your point, it's impatience, it's fear. We talk about shame, criticism, but there's dozens of reasons, but I think these four we put in the book at least get us started down the road of thinking. What is it that benches me? Why am I tempted to quit or not get in the game?

Chris Grainger: 10:25

Right, I know the fear when I talk to a lot of guys. A lot of times we don't move forward as leaders because we're afraid of failing, and you address that big time. So I mean, when you have those guys that come up to you, I've always loved just to hear other people and their takes. What do you tell that guy who's fearful of failure?

Kent Evans: 10:47

You probably will.

Chris Grainger: 10:50

Amen to that, bro.

Kent Evans: 10:51

You know what's interesting, man? Part of the reason is that I just love to kind of joke about some of that is because we can approach life with two, I think, dominant philosophies. Right, and you see all this through Scripture. It's the philosophy of the world or the philosophy of God, and you can put it in some other label if you want a biblical worldview versus a secular worldview. However you look at it, if you are deeply concerned about the fear of failure, you've just got to know a lot of that is coming from a secular or a non-biblical worldview. And you go oh, I don't know, kent, maybe, maybe not.

Kent Evans: 11:31

Well, consider the Apostle Paul, who you could argue was the most prolific Christian of the early church. He's planning a bunch of churches, he's writing a lot of letters, all of which today we still read and study and break apart. This morning I was in Romans, chapter three, and Galatians, chapter three, both written by Paul. And so when you look at the life of Paul and you go did he succeed or fail, man, it totally depends on which ruler you're using. It totally depends on which ruler you're using. Sure, because if you're using the world's ruler, he's a total failure. He went backward. He went backward. He had less prominence in the roman government he had. He had less access to the leading thinkers of the day that he used to be trained by. He was trained by some of the leading thinkers. Now he can't even get him to return his text right. So, like he went down the cultural ladder, lower and lower and lower and lower, all the while moving up the biblical ladder.

Kent Evans: 12:31

And so the reason I want to mention that is to the guy who's worried deeply about failing. There is a sense in which you cannot fail in God's economy. Now. You can get it wrong. You can spend money unwisely and be stuck with a financial burden, or you can cheat on your wife and be stuck with split time over the holidays. There's things that can happen that cause you to reap consequences. However, romans 8.1 says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and on and on it goes. If you believe the biblical worldview, failure becomes this thing that happens. That just informs you the next time. Like it happens. I'm not denying I've failed as a dad over and over. However, that's information that's actually input for me to fail less and less in the future, and so I just don't sweat failure, even though I'm up against it and I know it's probably going to happen.

Chris Grainger: 13:30

No, you're right, man, and I think that's that's, that's so spot on. And then the failure leads to if, if we do try stuff and I've seen so many guys, man they'll take that, that leap of faith, kent, and they'll try something new. And the first sign of criticism like they shut it down, bro, it's like no, not doing this one. And I just I'm so thankful that you addressed that as well I mean, just give us some insights, some reflections on how you help guys with that area.

Kent Evans: 13:59

Man, I think I've heard it said, and I think this is largely true.

Kent Evans: 14:12

I don't know if it's 100% biblically accurate but it's largely true, is that you can impress people with your strengths but you win them over with your weaknesses. That's not entirely true. There's a little bit of gray area in there. But I think what's true about that is that when we are real and when we are honest and when we are humble, we're magnetic. People want to be around people like that Amen. When we're fake, when we are posturing, I know a guy who is up front quite often and unfortunately there's a fair amount of disconnect between how you experience him one-on-one and how you experience him up front. I'm not saying he's immoral or hateful, I'm just saying he's better up front than he is in person. But by contrast, I know people who I've met. I've met some of my heroes, some of my spiritual heroes, if you will Sure, and some of them are better one-on-one. Like.

Kent Evans: 15:03

We had a pastor at our church for a long time named Bob Russell, and Bob, up front, was amazing. A plus, a plus, a plus every week is like literally watching a home run Derby. Every time he'd give a sermon it was like well, he had another one out, he had another one out, he had another one out, just every single week. He did that for 40 years Chris, 40, four, zero. Now he's 80 leading pastor retreats and I see him about once a month. He's better in person, one-on-one, than he ever was, even up front, which is saying something, because up front he was amazing. And so the reason I share that is because we're going to have shame come our way, we're going to feel exposed, we're going to feel like man. I tried fine, kent told me to get over the fear, so I tried it and it went terribly awry.

Kent Evans: 15:49

Uh, now I feel exposed and yeah, but I'd rather try and fail than not try at all. I'd rather try and fail than not try at all. And so shame's going to come in. You're going to experience some degree of criticism. Once you know that, then you can withstand it even better.

Chris Grainger: 16:07

Right, Right, Amen to that, Amen to that. And I think when I'm thinking through the first part of the way you wrote this, Kent, also, the impatience just jumps out as well, because that's for me, that is the the, the fruit that I lack the most in my life. I'm just not a patient guy. I want it done yesterday and I want it done right, and, and I think sometimes it's just a good reminder for me that God's timing is perfect. He's just rarely early and I just have to tell lots of guys that all you know over and over and over, and maybe where do you see guys struggling or stumbling, you know, with the impatience from so far as you know doing what God's calling them to do.

Kent Evans: 16:48

I see this a lot. If a guy's listening to this and he happens to be in any kind of a measurable job context and what I mean by that is pretty much everybody except preachers, because it's really hard if you're a preacher man, because what you really want is you want to be able to stick a thermometer in your in your congregants mouths and gauge their spiritual progression, and it doesn't work. So that's the measurement that you desperately want as a preacher, but you never really totally get it. But everybody else teachers, business guys, chemists, lawyers, you name it we all have metrics that we can run our lives by. Maybe you're in sales and you know that, like next quarter you got to sell a little more than you sold the previous quarter, or next year you got to see more patients than you saw last year.

Kent Evans: 17:34

Like growth, man up into the right is the dominant mentality in the vast majority of men and women. Even for that matter, the jobs that we do, our success can be measured and any downward trend is negative. So knowing that, knowing that we tend to become not only are we wired this way because we're sinful thanks, adam and Eve like we're sinful. So we're going to be impatient to begin with, because patience is called a fruit of the spirit, and so there you go. But we want metrics and we want numbers. I looked at my email list this morning. I get an email every Monday about our email list and we were down like 25 people. Now, on a percentage basis, it doesn't matter, like it's insignificant. However, I immediately want to be screenshotting that, sending it to our marketing guys and going guys, why would we have a week where our email list goes down? You know?

Kent Evans: 18:26

like I'm so frustrated by the smallest things because I'm impatient and I want growth and I want it every week and I want it bigger. If that had said plus 25, I'd have probably emailed everybody and said why wasn't it 50?

Kent Evans: 18:39

That's just how my mind is. You know that's unfair. It's too much of a driver, so I didn't send it to anybody. Praise the Lord, I'm getting better, chris, I'm growing. I'm growing. I didn't send it to anybody, although it is still in there, right, it's still in the head. Impatience is so tempting because we want what we want. We want it now. We actually won it yesterday. And that can be especially true for guys who work in jobs where you can measure the outcomes, because we're just so used to KPIs and if they're not going up, then we feel like we're failing.

Chris Grainger: 19:09

Yeah, and sometimes too, it even robs the joy we have in the current moment because we can't appreciate where we're at. And that's just like I mean. It's just. I don't know as someone who writes and does a lot of content and does it all, and you do the same stuff, man. Like I mean you're always thinking about the next project and the next thing, and like I had a guy this morning email me. We have a weekly newsletter goes out email and the guy texts me. It's like man, these messages was just spot on, solid. Did you write all that?

Chris Grainger: 19:39

I'm like yeah, I broke the next month and like, but I mean I don't take the time to like just sit there and reflect on you know man that made an impact on him, and it's so easy as guys just to be driven to the next thing.

Kent Evans: 19:54

I get. If I get an email like that, I sit back and wonder why weren't there two emails like that? Right, it's pathetic. It's so sad.

Chris Grainger: 20:02

Man, bro, that's real, though that's real. We'll take our first break, guys. We'll be right back with Kent. I don't know about you, but I used to find Mondays really rough. I would find myself trying to reset for work, trying to get my bearing on the family calendar, trying to find time for my own spiritual growth and development, and often I found myself overwhelmed or just flatly ignoring aspects of my life that I know are meaningful to me. What I learned was that if I had immediate access to important and impactful spiritual topics and reflections to start my week well, after the allure of a Sunday sermon has passed, I would set my whole week up to be more meaningful and for the opportunity to make a true impact.

Chris Grainger: 20:53

If you think that getting such a boost would help your week to get started on the right foot, we would love for you to sign up for the Weekly roar, which is our newsletter that is produced by the lion within us. Each week will deliver a powerful reflection and practical steps to help you apply scripture with clarity and purpose, all being rooted in light and truth. So in just a few minutes, we hope to arm you with insights for living out biblical leadership with confidence and strength, and maybe even have a little extra bounce in your step. If that sounds useful, head over to the lion withinus slash roar to sign up today. That's the lion withinus slash r? O? A? R to get your weekly roar today. So, Kent, this is again great stuff In any transition. You know you didn't leave the guys hanging about while we, while we get on the bench, you try to coach them off the bench and get back in the game. So how did you come up with this area so far as these four specific spots to get the guys back going?

Kent Evans: 22:05

well, mainly it's because a it's. If I were writing a book on how to be a godly wife, I'd be stuck right, because I'm not a godly, I'm not a woman. I don't understand me being a guy who can tend to bench himself and be overly passionate and be really excited when it's great and really down when it's not. I just thought, man, what are the steps I see guys take who stay in the game long term? They're godly husbands till they die. They're godly dads, you know, not perfect, not flawless, but they're in the game. They're godly leaders and they go through seasons and they weather seasons. A good friend of mine runs a camp and he went through COVID and man, that thing almost shut down. But man, I watched him just get through that and get down to a staff that was a fifth of his normal staff and then he came back out and now they're in like really great shape and building a new building. But man, it was rough a few years ago. I'm like, what do the guys like that do? I think there's commonality? Number one I'll bounce through them quick. We can come back to any that you want to come back to.

Kent Evans: 22:59

Number one, we call it out. We're really honest about the problem. We're really honest about the problem, then, if possible, if possible it's not always possible, but if possible we make it right. We do something to correct the mistake or make it right. Third, we leave it behind. We don't live in yesterday's problem, we press on, as Paul said, as Jesus said, we press on, we're going to look forward and then, lastly, we let it transform. We don't just waste failures, we don't just waste mistakes. We're like why did that happen? I'm going to reverse engineer it, try to do it better the next time. We call it out, we make it right, we leave it behind and we let it transform.

Chris Grainger: 23:38

Amen to that, Amen to that. Well, I mean the one that just jumps out to me that I think so many guys struggle with and maybe this is why we need some more brothers in Christ in our life that are willing to speak truth to us is the calling it out, Because so many guys are just living in this state of constant state of denial. Do you see that as a common area where guys struggle with actually just calling a spade a spade?

Kent Evans: 24:00

Yeah, I mean we sugarcoat our mistakes and it goes. It goes back to where we get our identity from. There are two kinds of mindsets. I love the book it's 20 years old now or so by Carol Dweck, called growth or no mindset and she talks about fixed mindset versus growth mindset. Oh, yeah. And the fixed mindset says I am who I am, I'm not going to be any different If growth mindset and the fixed mindset says I am who I am, I'm not going to be any different If you have that mindset then feedback is threatening to you, cause it's like it's Chris, you're a bad person, you know, like it's like a finger pointed at you.

Kent Evans: 24:33

If you feel that way, but if you feel like I'm going to be better tomorrow, I'm going to be a better podcaster, a better author, um, then you have a growth mindset. Then feedback becomes fuel, becomes information. It's like it's an accelerant to where you want to go.

Kent Evans: 24:48

So, a lot of guys have the fixed mindset and they don't even totally know it. It anchors back to their identity. So anytime their wife says, hey, you seemed really angry with the kids today, instead of going, shoot, is that right? I don't want to be an angry jerk. How can I do better next time, Instead of saying that you go, well, they were out of line? Well, maybe so, but now we have two sins, man, theirs and yours Right. And you got to own yours.

Kent Evans: 25:12

You know so as as only God can do. While I was writing this book, something happened in our home and I can use it as a very vivid demonstration of how to call it out. We were getting in the car. I am, historically, in a hurry. It's not good, it's not a character trait, it's a flaw. So all you type A's out there who just fist pumped yourself no man, you're, stop it, knock it off, like being as Nicky Gumbel at Holy Trinity Brompton, the founder of Alpha Project, likes to say intensity is not a fruit of the spirit. So get settled down, man, settle down. So I was getting in the car and my nine-year-old and my 12-year-old were getting in the car. We were going to baseball game. I was coach at our church league and we were running a little late. So I'm hustling everybody, let's go, let's go, get in the car, move it. So we finally get in the car. My 12-year-old goes behind the car, get something out of the trunk, comes around. We all get in the car. We leave later that night my wife says to me hey, honey, I need to tell you something You're not going to want to hear. Uh, which, by the way, if you're a wife sneaking into this line within podcast. Uh, great tactic. I mean that's brilliant. That's out of like that's wife 401. That ain't wife 101. That's out of like that's wife 401. That ain't wife 101. That's 401, man, that's brilliant. So I'm braced for impact and she goes well.

Kent Evans: 26:28

When y'all were getting in the car we were, you know, I know you were hurrying Timothy went around to the back and when the when the hatch came open, one of the iPads that you use for your ministry fell out, probably broke. He shoved it back in the car and he got in and I said I don't care that much, it's a broken ipad, we'll go get a new one. She goes well, that's not the part you're not going to want to hear. And I'm like, oh, it gets worse. So she's like, yeah. So she says, well, um, timothy wanted me to tell you about that thing happening. Yeah, and I said why? And she said, well, because he was concerned with how you would react. Okay, now I want the dad listening or the guy listening to process that moment, which is ironic, right, I'm literally.

Kent Evans: 27:17

I don't remember exactly where I was in this book, like what chapter I was on, but I was literally writing a book about calling it out and making it right, which is pretty funny. God has such a sense of humor and I said, wow, so that a guy processing that? I think you, I think you see in front of you two doors. Door number one says be defensive and explain it. Well, I'm the coach. I got to be there on time. On time, arrival is a fruit of the spirit, you know, or whatever. Like I had the balls and the bats, we couldn't start practice till I got there. They need to understand that it's time to get in the car, and when I say get in the car, I mean it All right, that's door number one.

Kent Evans: 27:57

Sure, door number two is what kind of a? That's door number two and, frankly, that's a much more accurate door and a much more actionable door to walk through. Because the problem was not them, the problem was me, and, frankly, the problem wasn't just me that one night. The problem was a pattern that I had established in my home where when things go wrong and dad's in a hurry, he's going to react angrily. Watch out, that is an unbiblical, unwise, sinful pattern.

Kent Evans: 28:41

And if I can say that out loud and own that, call it out, then I can go make it right. Hey man, timothy, listen, dad was a jerk and frankly, evidently I've been a jerk more than once and I've set a pattern around our home where you can't tell me the truth. And I'm going to change that, I'm sorry, will you forgive me. Right, that is calling it out. And then what you find out? It's kind of like we're getting ready to go into the holidays and my wife will bake some pies for our families and I'm always the guy who wants to like sneak in behind her after she's done and grab the spoon that she used to like, mix the batter and I'll lick your chocolate off till the spoon looks like, you know, a dog had had it for four hours and it's completely clean.

Kent Evans: 29:27

Because I want to get to every last little bit of that chocolate that's still stuck on that spoon. I want to get to every last little bit of sin that's in my heart and in my behavior patterns so I can clean it out, so I can be a vessel fit for good use for the Lord. And so I'm not hiding my own sin from anybody, most of all me, because when I can get there then all the other doors open. Once I can call it out and be honest, all the other doors open.

Chris Grainger: 29:58

Amen to that. You know that story, kent. I think that's probably going to hit a lot of guys. To be true, you know, if we're honest with ourselves, if I'm honest, that's me so many times I come in, I'm looking for what's wrong versus just trying to, you know, just praising. There's no praise. It's like what can I find wrong here in this situation today, I'm telling you, man, that's a crappy way and I recognize it. Sometimes too, it still is hard. It's hard to put that to the side. So I'm just appreciative for you sharing it. How did your son respond when you went back to him?

Kent Evans: 30:52

done quite enough there because there's still some hesitance. So I still have more work to do in that area, but I'm in the process of trying to build a better pathway and be more. I had a business leader friend of mine tell me one time his name is Greg and Greg told me Kent, you're going to unlock your leadership when you learned how to respond and not react. And that is such good advice for a guy like me who tends to talk before he thinks. And Greg's like stop reacting and start having a response.

Kent Evans: 31:25

And sometimes your response ought to be quiet, sometimes your response ought to be prayer, sometimes your response ought to be a question. But stop reacting and learn how to respond. And so I'm still a growth um, work in progress. Uh, I should say, chris, I'm work in progress, and my son responded really well, as they often do. Sure, humility to our kids, man is endearing and, and it's honest and it's real. Uh, and I can tell them look, man, one day you're going to be a dad, and when you blow it as a dad which, notice, I didn't say if you blow it as a dad, when you blow it as a dad, you're going to have the same choice to make that I'm making. Do you hide and run and pretend everybody else is the problem, or do you just look in the mirror and go?

Chris Grainger: 32:08

I screwed that one up, man, I blew that, and if you can do that second thing, you'll just find it opens a lot of doors but it takes a lot of courage and you've already mentioned humility as a dad to do that. And I just tell I try to remind guys a lot of time. I mean, we set the tone, we set the temperature of our home, the culture. People talk about thermostat and thermometers and I think all those things are great. You know analogies to think about, but at the end of the day, you know, if it's a tense environment, most of the time it's because we're bringing that and people are just responding to that.

Kent Evans: 32:45

So true.

Chris Grainger: 32:46

So, true.

Kent Evans: 32:47

I had an elder friend of mine one time told me this isn't statistical, but a lot of guys will be nodding their head if they're honest. He said you show me 10 jacked up marriages and I'll show you nine stupid husbands. Okay, god bless you. But for the rest of us, for the other nine of us? Normally we look around us and the storm we're standing in the middle of we had a hand in creating.

Chris Grainger: 33:16

Amen, amen. Hey guys, I'm going to take another quick break. We'll be right back with Kent. The kind of things that the men who participated in our discipleship masterminds had in the past. I am overwhelmed by the quality of their comments and commitment to each other. Several of the guys commented that this was the most meaningful leadership experience they've encountered, and we even had one man log into a discipleship mastermind while a hurricane was hitting his house. He was that committed and received that much from his peer group that he didn't want to miss it. Because of this extraordinary commitment and because it's a true gift and pleasure, we made them a core part of our community and we hope you might join us. We sit up men with their own peer advisory group of seven individuals that meet every other week for 12 weeks. Each member shares areas they want to focus on, such as improving their prayer life, being more intentional with their wives or maybe shedding a few extra pounds Together.

Chris Grainger: 34:30

we help them strategize, make commitments, find accountability and learn. It's been our experience that most guys want a community of trustworthy men to share their ideas and create support for each other with, and it's been our experience that most men don't either create this for themselves or seek them out. So we do this because we want you to have that in your life, and all that is needed to begin winning is you. If this sounds interesting, check out our community to see the dates and times of when these different groups meet. Visit thelionwithinus to start your free trial of our community. To get started today, that's thelionwithinus and I would love to see you lean in and tap into the power of our discipleship masterminds.

Chris Grainger: 35:28

Ken, I know you work with a lot of guys. You work with a lot of fathers out there. You've done some wonderful things. I mean, what are? You work with a lot of guys. You work with a lot of fathers out there. You've done some wonderful things. I mean, what are you hearing right now so far as where are guys struggling the most? Raising their families? Any common threads? I'm just always for experts like you. I love to hear what you're hearing from the front lines.

Kent Evans: 35:46

Well, I'm going to double back on that word expert. I don't know if I'd say that, Chris, but to your point, I have seen a lot of I'm highly exposed. Let's put it that way.

Chris Grainger: 35:55

Sure sure.

Kent Evans: 35:56

I see a ton of input and information and data. Here's what I'm hearing, in no particular order top two or three challenges Number one time. I hear that all the time and it comes in a few flavors. One flavor is I don't know how to wear all the hats, Like how much time do I spend playing versus cutting the grass, versus teaching my kid versus going to work? You know, there's like what I call time management, or like there's a pie and there's slices, and how much time do you give to each one?

Kent Evans: 36:20

The other version of time we hear a lot is I'm running out of time. You know my kid is 9, 10, 12, 15. And I feel sorry, pal, he's 75% out of the way out of the house and he said what do you mean? And I go. The next nine years won't be like the last nine years and I'm not just saying this because Kent said it. Tons of stats back this up. The amount of time you're going to spend with your kid between nine and 18 is roughly half of the amount of time you spent with them from zero to nine.

Kent Evans: 36:57

Yeah, Because you know jobs and cell phones and high school and homework and okay, there's just life, even if you're fairly restrictive and life, so time, time is a big deal. How we allocate our time, how we spend our time huge, massive deal. The second thing I hear all the time is communication. Dads are wrestling with communication. They don't know how to get through to their child, they don't know how to listen well, they don't know how to not get angry when they're having conversations on certain topics. We hear that all of the time. We hear time, we hear communication and then we just hear this big bucket that I'll just I'll put in a loose bucket called like leadership or something, where dads feel like they just don't quite know how to lead. They feel concerned about either their equipping, their skills, their background, their Enneagram, whatever their issue is. They just don't feel like they have the right equipment to lead.

Chris Grainger: 37:57

So I mean when you hear these things and time and communication, that's two big buckets there, man, that guys are stumbling. I mean I'm struggling with those two myself right now when I think about and I reflect on that, for me the time when maybe give me some insights. So four kids, multiple businesses, you know different types of you know all good things Right, and I mean it's not like I'm doing drugs over here and alcohol over here. It's not that like it's all good things, like when you have, when you talk to the father out there, who there, who's legit leaning in and trying to do the good things and yet he's still struggling. What encouragement, what do you?

Kent Evans: 38:36

tell that guy.

Chris Grainger: 38:38

You don't see that glaring hole of you've got to stop this right.

Kent Evans: 38:41

It's not that he's on the weekends, he's some drug dealer or he's running a prostitution ring. It's not that he's got some obvious evil that he's overseeing. I like to start with. None of us have a time problem, because god ordained the sun to rise and set with a certain fixed distance in between. It called 24 hours, and there's a day, and we all have the same days. Chris has the same day as ken evans, as Billy Graham had, as Marie Curie had. Nobody had more or less time. Albert Einstein didn't have more time.

Kent Evans: 39:18

However, the real issue when it comes to time is priorities. That's the actual issue. If you say I don't have enough time, what you actually mean is I don't know how to prioritize my calendar. That's what you actually mean, and as long as you can say that, then you can begin to diagnose. Well, why is that? Okay, great, so.

Kent Evans: 39:41

So, for example, take the guy who is um. Normally, here's what happens A dude is 20 or 25. He gets married, they start having kids around 25 or 30. By the time he's 40, he has an 8 or 10 or 12 or 14-year-old son or daughter in the home, and that is about the time when he gets an opportunity to be promoted and take that next job and he may go make 30 or 50 or 100 grand more a year. At one point, chris, I was in discussions with a job in my early forties where literally I would have doubled my salary. Like it wasn't a small thing, it was going to be like this massive jump. I didn't get that job offer but, man, I was like, wow, so my forties could be a lot more lucrative than my thirties, evidently.

Kent Evans: 40:25

So, knowing that I'm not criticizing the guy who takes the job and then travels 80% of the week, I am saying it is worth evaluating whether that's worth doing at the season that you're in, because here's what so many guys it's like many are the slain, and David has slain his thousands right or his tens of thousands. It is so patternistic. Like, really, you go out every week and you cut your grass right Every week and the grass grows. No one gets surprised and they go gee, that keeps growing. I'm shocked.

Kent Evans: 41:05

So many guys hit 45 or 50. And they have a wayward teenage child and they look back and think, man, I should have spent more time with that child. Maybe it would have fixed the issues, maybe not. You're not the fix it man. However, the regretful investor at age 50 is like so common as to be boring. It's like, oh, he ran off with the secretary Shocker, like I mean, can we get a new story here, because that story is just keeps playing on repeat. Dad, man, husband, you are not going to regret the time you spent coaching your kids team when they were 12 and you were 42, but you might regret being gone five nights a week. You might regret that.

Kent Evans: 41:49

And so my encouragement is not just pull back and no one gets. No one gets promoted. What I am saying is we've got a way where we invest our time and see if we're going to be on the other side of this looking backward. So you know, we started passing up job opportunities and that kind of thing. Um to to be to be fair, like that's. That's what I did a lot of things wrong as a dad. One thing that I did intentionally was I intentionally did not stay gone very long, even to the point. I had a job that was international and the headquarters was in Paris, france, and I told my boss there Alexi man, I'm just not coming here every month, like fire me bro, I don't care, and he worked around my schedule.

Kent Evans: 42:29

One day we were sitting in the headquarters in Paris, France, and he goes Kent on one of your occasional trips outside the state of Kentucky. And I said, and I pointed at him and I said, exactly you got it.

Kent Evans: 42:43

That's right, because he wanted me in the job. However, the job I probably could have done better. I took a B plus in that job to get an A plus, I just had to been on the road more. I was okay with the B plus and I had a boss who was okay with the B plus. But I just want to encourage the guy man, if you have time challenge, welcome to the club.

Kent Evans: 43:05

We all have time challenges. Sift it back through. What's most important you know, your time with the Lord, your time with your wife, your time with your kids and see if you can find a way to work in a context where, even if you have a job that requires some travel, take your kids on the trips. Sure, let's just work it in. I did that with my boys occasionally, not all the time, but every now and then. I took one of my sons to St Louis with me, and I'm not down on St Louis, but I'm just saying it ain't Hawaii right? No offense to anyone living in St Louis, but he still remembers that trip like as if he went to Hawaii, like he thought that was so fun.

Kent Evans: 43:39

He dressed in a suit, he had a tie on, he went to some of my meetings and that was a corporate job and I just told people hey, this is my son, he's shadowing me today and they just accepted it. Well, you can do some of that, like you can do more of that, even than you could have 30 years ago with the work-life balance movement. It's helped. Let's go.

Chris Grainger: 43:57

A hundred percent. A hundred percent, I mean, I think through. I was in sales prior as well and I and I and that was my big requirement was, you know, I really put everything through the lens of overnight travel and I was like I can make more money if I open it up and travel further, did more, but the cost benefit does not come back ever. When I ran it ever and I look back and I was like you know what I probably missed? There was a lot of money I left on the table, but the relationships with my kids is so much more important, so much more. Exactly 100%. What about, man? I definitely want to get your insight on this. There's cultural pressures now as dads raising their kids that my dad didn't have.

Chris Grainger: 44:47

And your dad didn't either. And when I look now, my oldest is 14. She's a ninth grader, then I have a seventh grader and then I have two toddlers. So we're in the throes.

Kent Evans: 45:00

Eye of the storm.

Chris Grainger: 45:01

Yeah, that you know I'm just having to address straight on and you know a lot of it comes down to LGBTQ plus and all the different types of agendas that are being pushed out there. And you know, as a dad raising daughters or as a dad raising sons, what encouragement would you offer up that father out there who's dealing with some of these societal pressures? Yeah, trying to maintain that biblical worldview and recognize their kids are just a tough battle right now yeah, it definitely is.

Kent Evans: 45:35

We definitely have some unique challenges, uh, and then we have some challenges that are common, that they're the same as when abraham had kids. You know there's some that are very similar, um, but yeah, technology's changed the game news outlets, etc. Media has changed the game, for sure. Um, um I w I generally want to help uh dads realize what's happening is and I think a lot of dads can relate to it in the form of a sports metaphor If you had a team and all you played was defense, you would never win.

Kent Evans: 46:05

You would never win. Uh, now, if you had a team and all you played was offense, you'd never win. So we know, we know that there's this balance in sports between defense and offense. Most dads in the area of culture or even sexual purity or things like that, gender, all we play is defense. All we play is defense. You need no cell phones till they're a certain age, which I'm a huge fan of, big fan of late cell phone adoption, which is funny because now society is catching up. Oh, my goodness, the movement on late cell phone is hilarious.

Chris Grainger: 46:38

What's your number?

Kent Evans: 46:41

I'm careful to say the number because I don't want anybody to feel judged or arrogant, but 16. None of our kids get a cell phone till they're 16.

Chris Grainger: 46:49

I need my daughter to listen to this, because she's the only she's legit. She's 14. I'm the only one in her class who doesn't have a cell phone right now well and here.

Kent Evans: 46:57

Okay, so let me address that in a second hang on. So I'm gonna come back to that. Okay, um, but late cell phone adoption, which is hilarious, because now you got secular advocates citing brain scan studies about why we shouldn't have cell phones till later and you're like no dip man, like Solomon told us this in 2000 BC. Right, oh, my word. So it's just, it's not new, but society's catching up. They're catching up to social media and they're catching up to cell phones. But Christian should have been leading this for the last 20 years. Anyway, having said that, I want to help the dad play. Play like, not just late cell phone adoption, not just internet filters, not just no computer in their bedroom. If you're a dad and your kid has computers bedroom, you're a moron. Sorry, pal, you are asking for Satan to run your family. Stop it. Okay, I won't be quite so dramatic about cell phones, but, like dude, seriously, you let your kid have a computer in his room. That is, give me a break, pull it out now. Stop this podcast. Go yank your kid's computer out. Come back to the rest of the show, give me a break. So it just should be so obvious to a believer. Um, but that's defense, that's all defense. Okay, we need a good defense, we need a good defense.

Kent Evans: 48:06

Offense is what augustine talked about when he talked about the Ordo Amoris, or the order of your loves. What do you love the most? What do you love the most? And the good news and the bad news is that is going to trickle down in unseen and osmotic. Like osmosis, your kids will catch what you love the most. Is it your job? Is it your stiff drink on a Friday night? Is it your Alabama football? What is it? What do you love the most? And when our kids learn to love wisdom, to love the Lord, to love his word, to love relationships, to love their parents, to love their siblings, when our kids learn that they're building a very strong offense, a very strong offense because that's what they can chase, they can go after. It's not just the fiery darts of the evil, one that they're withstanding.

Kent Evans: 49:08

It's what they're going after. And if I said to a basketball team hey look, guys, here's our strategy for the first half Don't shoot, take no shots at all, but just stop the other team from scoring. It would be exhausting and demoralizing. We'd be down 30 to nothing by halftime. Easy, because you just can't stop all of the, all of the attacks. You just won't stop every single one. But you can teach your kids how to play spiritual offense. And when they play spiritual offense they will occasionally put some points on the board, because they'll make good choices. They will pick good friends. They will choose forgiveness and not resentment and bitterness. Why? Because we've taught them the offense of how to forgive. So, coming back to your daughter, one thing that dads and moms struggle with is helping their kids fit in.

Chris Grainger: 50:02

Right.

Kent Evans: 50:03

Another extremely unbiblical approach to life and parenting, In fact. In fact, the new Testament calls us to not fit in that's right Part of the whole point of the new Testament is Jesus said hey, they're going to know you.

Kent Evans: 50:23

They're going to know you. They're going to know you by how you love one another. What does that mean? By know you, they'll be able to tell the difference between the believer and the world. So the whole idea, the whole philosophy of I don't want my kid to feel left out or to feel weird or different or odd or not fit in man. I know the 13-year-old girl or 14-year-old girl may not like hearing this. However, you are unique, you are set apart, you are sanctified, you are holy. We think of holy as being pure. That's about half the meaning of it in the New Testament. The other half is different, set apart. When God says I am holy, he doesn't just mean I'm flawless.

Kent Evans: 51:09

What he means is I'm different, go look it up Like just go, do the holy Bible study. You know, do Greek word study on the word holy. You're going to find it means pure and different. And so, from an early age, I want my kids to learn you are meant to be different. And so, from an early age, I want my kids to learn you are meant to be different, you are meant to be unique, you are meant to be special. Now, what that's going to mean eventually is that there's some means floating around you're unaware of. There's some inside jokes you're not on the inside of, right, don't sweat it. That has nothing to do with your identity or who you are. And so I know some Christian parents, man, who desperately want their kids to fit in, and I desperately want them to understand how foolish of a chase that is. That is, that's the devil's playground, man. Let's not do that.

Chris Grainger: 51:48

Amen to that, Kent Amen. Thank you for speaking that word of truth right there.

Kent Evans: 51:52

Sorry, a little bit of a rant there. I apologize, Chris.

Chris Grainger: 51:54

No, bro, that was spot on. Guys, I hope you're taking notes. We'll take our last break. We'll be right back.

Chris Grainger: 52:02

I find it helps me to have a guide at times when I'm reading and studying the Bible. One way that helps me is by using devotionals to guide not only what I read, but insights into the scriptures themselves. So we were blessed to become an author on the YouVersion Bible app, and we saw an immediate opportunity to help others with devotionals around the areas that we spend the most time talking about at the Lion Within Us. So if you enjoy the show, you may enjoy these devos as well. We have some guys that are using them as part of their small groups as well, as they're a great way to get conversations going. So to see the ones that we created, head over to thelionwithinus to learn more. So that's thelionwithinus, to get started with your own men's devotional today.

Chris Grainger: 52:56

So, kent, this has been phenomenal. I knew this was going to be a great one. You gave me tons to think about. You gave the guys tons to think about. Before we let you go, though, let's do a quick lightning round. We always like to have a little fun at the end of the show, just to let the listeners get to know you a little bit more, man. So if you're willing to play, we'll hop right in. I'm ready, all right. But what's what's a hobby? What's something that you enjoy doing for fun?

Kent Evans: 53:18

Uh, I really enjoy reading. I really do like reading. I just finished a fiction book. Like I'll, I'll read a lot of nonfiction, like how to be a better guy and all that, but then every now and then my wife she'll, she'll go. It's about time for you to read a fiction book. She can tell I'm getting a little tight, a little a little highly, more highly strung than normal, so she'll be like read something for fun. So I just finished a fiction's a blast. I will play the occasional round of golf, but that's about four or five times a year and only if somebody invites me and they pay.

Chris Grainger: 53:45

There you go, there you go. If you could have a super superpower, which one would it be and how would you use it?

Kent Evans: 53:51

Teleportation.

Kent Evans: 53:53

Oh, I would definitely use teleportation and like it would have to be one where I can grab somebody and they go with me, because then I would just teleport my wife to a beach basically every night, every single night. We would teleport to a beach, maybe only for an hour or two. We come back to Louisville, but like I'm looking out the window, it's gray, it's almost winter and I'm like nah, man, I would grab her hand, take her to a beach. Uh, come back and get her in a couple hours with, you know, a fresh cup of hot tea there you go, amen, amen.

Chris Grainger: 54:20

What about cartoons? Growing up, what was your favorite one man?

Kent Evans: 54:25

Oh man, that brings back so many memories. Roadrunner, fantastic, Loved it. I loved the Tasmanian Devil there you go. He's one of my very favorite Him. And who was the guy with the mustache that was rooting tooting?

Chris Grainger: 54:36

Oh, yosemite Sam, Yosemite Sam, I love.

Kent Evans: 54:39

Yosemite Sam. In fact he had a quote at one point. Him and Bugs Bunny were talking and something about looking stupid. And Yosemite Sam says I don't need you to make me look stupid. No, no, no, no, wait, sorry. Bugs Bunny said to Yosemite Sam you don't need me to make you look stupid. And Yosemite Sam says you're darn right, and I just love that. That's such a great line. We've used that in my house. We saw it 10 years ago and now it's become Evans parlance. It's pretty funny.

Chris Grainger: 55:06

Man, love it, love it. And, by the way, the Tasmanian devil. So I got those floor mats for my truck when I turned 16, the Tasmanian devil floor mats. And I still have them, bro. No way, they're in my gator. We have on the farm, right.

Kent Evans: 55:20

So yeah, I was so jealous of guys like you who had Tasmanian devil accoutrements. That's amazing.

Chris Grainger: 55:28

What about favorite food Kent?

Kent Evans: 55:33

What's your go-to man, go-to favorite food? Probably a really good hamburger, like if I think, man, it's dinner tonight and I get to pick. Probably a really good hamburger.

Chris Grainger: 55:43

Yeah, that'd be top of the heat for me, Nice man. What about sports teams? Who are?

Kent Evans: 55:46

you following, oh golly, almost nobody. I've had friends who've played at pro sports and when they played I followed whoever they played for. Sure, uh, cause I live in Louisville, kentucky, so I'm a UK fan go cats.

Kent Evans: 55:58

But, um, you know, I don't know our record. I don't really know what's going on. Somebody had to tell me the other day we beat Duke. We're recording this late 2024, so we beat Duke in a game and I didn't know until about two days later and I had to go watch the highlights. So I wouldn't even call me a fan. It's a disgrace to the fans to call me a fan.

Chris Grainger: 56:18

What do you think about the last year, Kent? What did you spend too much time doing?

Kent Evans: 56:22

Oh golly, chris, Will you just do this off the air one day and just coach me for two hours, because your questions are so good? What did I spend too much time doing? I spent too much time meeting with people for no apparent reason, and here's what I mean by that. What I mean by that is I work in a nonprofit, so I do donor development. I'm always trying to meet with dads to learn what's on their mind and heart. I'm trying to I'll be counseling people, not counseling like an official sense, but like giving them counsel, if you will.

Kent Evans: 56:55

And if somebody were to reach out to me and go hey, I'm thinking of starting a nonprofit, or I'm thinking of starting a blog or a podcast, you know, can I get an hour on your schedule? I almost always said absolutely no problem, and then I find myself running through the year or trying to get my book done, or trying to get something done at Manhood Journey, my main business that I need to care for. So I probably spent too much time of the year being a bit distracted by other people's calendars. So I'm going to screw that down a little bit in 2025 and be a be a little bit more intentional and diligent with my time.

Chris Grainger: 57:29

What about, unless that leads me into the next one? So do you have any things that you're doing, any tips that are helping with that so far? I'd love to get some insight.

Kent Evans: 57:40

Yeah, I remember years ago seeing the ideal week for an author, a guy named Michael Hyatt, and whether my week needs to look like his week or not isn't the point. The point is he had one and he showed it. He took a screenshot, said here's my ideal week. Now, no week is exactly ideal, but a lot of them are 90 or 95% ideal, and he had certain things in his calendar at certain times of the day.

Chris Grainger: 58:07

And so so yeah.

Kent Evans: 58:08

So for me that translates to in the early morning. In the early morning like before 9am, all almost nothing Like like if you go a whole month and there's, you know five times four 22 working days in a month, on average, 21 and a half of those. I have not one thing scheduled before nine o'clock Nothing, because that's my time in the Bible. I'm going to spend time in the word, I'm going to spend time in prayer and some days, a little time in just thought. I'll just be thinking, drinking my coffee, thinking about the next week ahead or whatever. So, honestly, to get on my calendar before nine is nine is almost no way. So I've learned that, which means I've shoved a lot of meetings to afternoons.

Chris Grainger: 58:51

Okay.

Kent Evans: 58:51

So if somebody says hey, man, can we hop on a Zoom call to talk about X, mentally, I start at 2 pm and I work on that two to five block and I just go as far out as I need to. Yeah, five block, and I just go as far out as I need to.

Kent Evans: 59:01

Sometimes things have to happen sooner, but putting meetings in the afternoon were really healthy for me, Ideal week. Putting Bible study early in the morning very healthy for me, Ideal week. I write better, create better content in the mornings than in the afternoon. So when I was in book writing mode earlier this year, those were big three hour blocks in the mornings eight to 11, you know something like that where I would write up until lunch and then I would get my work done after that. So, yeah, that's been really helpful.

Kent Evans: 59:27

And then this year I set up a workout goal that I'm about to hit. It's late November at the time we are recording this and I've hit swam 90 miles this year Wow, and my goal was swim a hundred. So I've got about five weeks left and you know, Lord willing, if I don't get sick or, you know, the YMCA doesn't get, you know, destroyed I'll hit the a hundred mile swim goal this year, which is first time I've ever sat a goal in 20 years. That's a workout related goal. So I did that. Well, I kept that part of my calendar blocked out.

Chris Grainger: 59:56

Good for you, brother. Good for you. Love, love those insights. Time blocking is massive and appreciate that you just being so transparent there. What about speaking of transparent? What's something that you're struggling with? Anything that has currently been a struggle for you?

Kent Evans: 1:00:11

Man, I would say every day, every single day, especially work days, work days I wake up and I think, man, I have too much to do today and I'm sure a lot of guys can relate to that. I doubt there's any guy who wakes up and just goes I got so much free time I don't know what to do. So I know in some ways that's really common. What that often means is, to your point, I'm not struggling between like, should I love my wife or abandon her. You know, I'm not struggling between these massive dark and light kind of struggles.

Kent Evans: 1:00:44

Uh, as an old elder at our church used to say, decisions between right and wrong are simple. You need God's word and a moral compass. Those are pretty clear. The decisions between right and right can be tricky, you know. Do you go and do that thing or that thing, both of which God says are okay, right, one of which may be your Ephesian two 10 good work, and one might be that belongs to somebody else, or that's you in two years, or whatever. So I would say I struggle with prioritization of my days and making sure that each day I do the thing that I feel like God is calling me to, versus the thing that just looks shiny and fun and interesting, as would be my default. So choosing to do some hard things, some maintenance-related tasks, some things even in our nonprofit that are more boring or not as fun. Doing those things and knocking them out, that's a big deal for me these days.

Chris Grainger: 1:01:40

Amen. What's your favorite thing about God?

Kent Evans: 1:01:46

That his mercies are new every morning. I have become such a fan of my opening one hour to 90 minutes in the day. On my desk I've got this coffee pot that holds the coffee, keeps it hot for hours. I brew my coffee in this thing, I bring it downstairs to my home office and then I got my insulated coffee mug and I will sit down here with that and a big jug of water and for the first hour it's quiet.

Kent Evans: 1:02:16

I'm almost always five days a week not seven, but five days a week I'm in God's word for an hour or so studying God's word before my day gets rolling. And, man, that's just a time where I feel like God says all right, man, yesterday doesn't matter, yesterday's in the past, don't worry about it, let's learn some lessons from it. Hey, that thing you did yesterday, let's not do that again. Or that thing you did yesterday, let's not do that again. Or that thing you did yesterday, let's do that again. And for me, the fact that his mercies are new every morning is becoming more and more real to me.

Chris Grainger: 1:02:50

Love it. What's the least favorite thing?

Kent Evans: 1:02:54

about the evil one, the fact that he seems to be able to use the same tricks on me decade after decade.

Chris Grainger: 1:03:02

You know like the same things you know, you just kind of go seriously.

Kent Evans: 1:03:06

could you invent another way to get at me Like seriously? And he's like why? Why would I do that when this one seems to work so great?

Chris Grainger: 1:03:25

So, yeah, that's probably my least favorite thing is he's not all that creative, but still, some days, quite relentless, relentless, 100%. What's the one thing, kent, that you hope the listeners out there remember the most from?

Kent Evans: 1:03:30

our conversation today. Don't bench yourself. You are doing something in life that is important. You're loving your wife, you're loving your kids. You're working at a job, you're leading a church. Whatever you're doing, you're loving your wife, you're loving your kids. You're working at a job, you're leading a church, whatever you're doing, and if you walk off that field, it will almost always be because you chose to.

Kent Evans: 1:03:51

Not because the team owner came down and told you to get off the field, not because the coach pulled you out of the game. Your wife doesn't want you to stop being a dad, she doesn't want you to stop being a husband. So, dad, husband, man, don't quit. Galatians 6, 9 says do not grow weary in doing well, for in due time and, to be fair, that's the part of that verse I hate. Okay, just to be honest in due time, when the heck is that Well, in due time, you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. So do not give up, do not quit. Keep going and be looking for the harvest and let God control the outcome. You do the work, you be faithful and let the results be up to God.

Chris Grainger: 1:04:34

Amen to that, Kent Amen. So where do you want to point the listeners out there to connect with you, the wonderful things you're doing? The book, obviously. So just want to give you open space here to share.

Kent Evans: 1:04:44

Well, we can find everything we do at manhoodjourneyorg. That's manhoodjourneyorg. Links to the book, links to our podcast. We have a free weekly newsletter. If you're a dad, we would love to help encourage you every Monday morning. So just head over to manhoodjourneyorgorg and you'll find everything that we have to offer.

Chris Grainger: 1:05:04

Amen, brother, we'll make sure that stuff is linked up in the show notes for you guys. Thank you so much, ken. Anything else you'd like to share today? This has been wonderful.

Kent Evans: 1:05:11

Well, chris, I love what you're doing. Man, I am so excited that God crossed our paths. Thank you for the line within, thank you for what you do, thank you for being faithful as both a dad, a husband, a worker and also just this moonlighter for doing ministry work. A lot of guys don't realize how hard that is and how challenging it can be. I'm a huge fan and and would love to support you in any way I can.

Chris Grainger: 1:05:32

Thank you for letting me be on today and keep going, brother you're doing great work, amen brother, you have a great day you too, buddy if you're a man who's looking for greater spiritual guidance into how to become a better leader, finding resources that you can trust and then implement can be daunting. For me personally, I thought it was a lost cause and I decided to take the action, knowing that I wasn't alone. It was because of this wide gap that we created our Lion Within Us community, and the areas that we're helping Christian men grow are incredible. For instance, we've built ways for guys to lean in and grow through fun events like our daily spiritual kickoff, where you get that much needed boost directly from God's word, our Bible studies that always focus on how to discern and apply what we learn, and even our amazing forum where you can speak your mind without fear of getting shut down or judged by the extreme rules of modern day social media. On top of all that, we know that many men won't help overcoming issues and becoming stronger in many different areas. That's why we created several mastermind groups where the iron truly sharpens iron. Our community is about having a growth mindset, accountability, intentionality and transparency. In other words, just leave fake you at home and come to community just as you are. I fully believe what we feel. I see the impact it's making on men right now, and I would love to have you check it out. So start your very own 30-day free trial today to see how we can help you be a better leader. So, if you're ready to take that first step, head over to thelinewithinus and get started. Your journey begins here. Visit thelinewithinus and I'll see you inside the den.

Chris Grainger: 1:07:20

All right, guys, I told you that was gonna be a great one. So thankful for Kent for coming on. Just the wonderful things that he's doing, love, what his ministry is all about, obviously. So, again, check out the show notes, all the resources, fellas, that we have in place to help you lean in to learn more. The question of the week this week is are you ready to get off the bench? It's all up to you. No one can do this for you, guys. No one can do this for you guys. No one can do it for you. You have to do it for yourself. So if you are ready and I pray that you are now get off the bench, get in the game and look your family, your wife, everyone's waiting on it. They're waiting for you to recognize the amazing call that you have on your life.

Chris Grainger: 1:07:56

All right, so, guys, head over to thelionwithinus. We have tons of resources there, tons, tons, tons. Visit us on the Bible app, the Lion Within Us. Search for that. We have lots of devotions out there and I even lead Bible studies directly on the app on a regular basis. You can find the different calendars and the different times. We do that on thelionwithinus. Go check it out. We have all the resources right there. Sign up for our weekly roar. Love to serve you each and every week with our weekly roar. Take our assessment. We have a wonderful assessment. It is in-depth assessment to see how you are as a Christian leader. So many ways that we serve people with our discipleship mastermind groups and our Friday fours, our lion lunches. I'm telling you guys, every day we're leaning in to build disciples.

Kent Evans: 1:08:44

That's it.

Chris Grainger: 1:08:46

That's it. We're just helping disciple leaders every single day. So I pray that you head over to thelionwithinus and check it out and get started. Give us a rating and review. That will be tremendous. If you like the show, just give us a rating, five-star rating. Write a two-sentence review. That makes a big difference, all right, so, guys, thank you so much. Come back on Friday, prayerfully. We'll be here. We'll have some good fun. Friday tips for you and remember whatever you're doing out there keep unleashing the lion within.