Chris Grainger: 1:01

Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I'm your host, chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, it's your meat episode. Let's get right into it, okay? So the scripture of the week is Matthew 28, verse 19. You guys should know this verse. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son of the Holy Spirit. Guys, go back and listen to the spiritual kickoff episode Just one back in your podcast feed or unpack this scripture at link to try to give you some ideas on how you can simplify and apply it to your life. As a quick reminder, we do that every day, monday through Friday, in the Lion Within us community. So the Lion Withinus to get started today.

Chris Grainger: 1:42

Now, this is going to be a great conversation. This is going to be one it's on the nose because we're going to have how you can transform your life after pornography. Pornography takes so many guys down. The stats are just so alarming. The church is not immune to this. The church is just being pounded with the impact of pornography, and we brought in my buddy, brandon McCray. And Brandon, he's a disciple. First and foremost, he is a disciple. He's a husband, he's a father, he's a friend and he's a layman at his local church and he's really moved. The Lord put something on his heart and a calling on his life to help as many men as possible find freedom from lust and pornography through that relationship with Christ. So he started the Transform Discipleship Ministry and this has been a tool that has really enabled this freedom to happen, and he built a wonderful guidebook as the next step in continuing the work that Laura's called him to do. So I'm telling you this is just a powerful conversation.

Chris Grainger: 2:48

I love Brandon's energy. It's always cool when you meet guys who are just leaning into the hard stuff. Right, they know that they're going to get the pushback, they know that the evil one's not going to like it, they know that it's never going to be an easy proposition, but they choose to do it anyway because it's about walking in obedience. That's what it's all about. So if you are struggling with pornography, this conversation is going to definitely encourage you. If you know brothers that are, then this is one you should share. If you have any influence in your local church, I'd encourage you to share this with your pastors and the decision makers there so that they can get plugged in with what Brandon's doing at Transformed After Porn and the wonderful resources that they have available. So sit back. Hopefully you guys enjoy this conversation with my friend, brandon McRae. So, brandon, welcome to the Lion Within Us. How are you doing today, man?

Brandon McRay: 3:43

I am excellent, Chris. Thank you for having me on your show. Very excited to chat with you about this topic.

Chris Grainger: 3:50

Absolutely, brother, absolutely. It's going to be a heavy one, but before we get into it, let's start lighter, man, let's just start lighter. So tell the listeners out there something fun about you that maybe not many people know about, about you that maybe not many people know about.

Brandon McRay: 4:01

Hmm, hmm, that's a good one. Uh, let's see. So I uh got recruited to play football at West point and I'm only five foot nine and like I was like 175 pounds at the time. Okay, okay, surprisingly. Um, yeah, so that was, that was pretty cool, man, that was, that was something I didn, man, I didn't have a very good career, but it was pretty fun to go up there and try and hack it with those big boys.

Chris Grainger: 4:30

Heck yeah, what position were you playing I?

Brandon McRay: 4:32

was in safety.

Chris Grainger: 4:35

Okay, so quick quick.

Brandon McRay: 4:38

I'd like to tell people fast enough I could have used more quickness. I probably could have played longer if I had more quickness, but yeah, it was fun.

Chris Grainger: 4:49

That's awesome man. That's awesome. Thanks for sharing that and thank you for what you're doing as well. Maybe kind of give the listeners out there some insight to your background and why you started the mission that you have started, because I know this is going to be one that's going to hopefully encourage a lot of guys out there today.

Brandon McRay: 5:08

Well, thank you, thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this, and I do want to say, before we start, like I am extremely appreciative of the line within us and everything that you are doing to encourage men to come into a deep and abiding relationship with Jesus Christ and live that abundant life that Jesus promises us. So, yeah, so very excited to be here, and so I always like to kind of start with my background and where I came from.

Brandon McRay: 5:37

So I grew up as a lukewarm Christian, and so Monday through Saturday I was doing what I wanted to do, but every Sunday I was in church, very religious, I wouldn't miss church, but I didn't have a repentant heart, and so that was the way I lived a majority of my young life. And unfortunately, I got exposed to pornography at um eight years old, and I yeah it was. I remember being repulsed at first and then just lured in to to lust, and so so uh, what Print type?

Chris Grainger: 6:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brandon McRay: 6:24

So this was magazines. I'm old, yeah, and so, anyways, you know, just pornography, lusting after women, objectifying women, masturbation, the whole thing Right, just from from early on. The whole thing right, just from from early on. And so, um, like I said, I went off to military academy and unfortunately, like that, just amplified everything. Unfortunately, I could, you know, watch porn, get drunk and cuss with the best of them, because that's you know how we in the world.

Brandon McRay: 7:00

Right, we are man's man, but again, every Sunday was in church and confessing my sins, but really just continuing to struggle, and so, fortunately, my wife saw something in me at the time that was worth marrying, and so she agreed to marry me. We got married, went off and and started serving in the army. I was a Blackhawk helicopter pilot and, about a year into our marriage, got caught watching pornography, and it was obviously one of the worst days of my life, but also the best, because, like you know, the struggle was out there, and so she was praying for me. She was my accountability partner, which was really hard. I don't recommend that having your wife as your accountability partner, but just continue to pray for me. She read Every Man's Battle Fred Stoker's book and it was like, hey, I read this and it really opened my eyes to what this struggle is for you guys and I recommend you read it, and so I read it. It helped.

Brandon McRay: 8:14

I continued to struggle for about the next six years. About that time, too, when I got caught, I a an incident happen downrange that was traumatic, and I felt like I should have been taken instead of the guys that were, and I just asked the Lord. I was like, how come, you know, why didn't you take me? And? And I felt like he said because I need you to get serious about your faith and I'm in.

Brandon McRay: 8:39

And so ever since then, it's just been this slow, steady growth towards the Lord and away from those things. So, you know, the pornography dropped off, the drunkenness, the, the foul language, and then he just continued to to sanctify me, and the more I pressed in right, just like it talks about in James 4, 8, the more I pressed into him, the more he came through. The more I pressed into him, the more he came through. And so then I started to experience that peace of mind and heart that Jesus talks about. And so, fast forward, I'm continuing to grow in the Lord. And then he challenges me. He's like he challenges me to start sharing that testimony with any guy that will listen and, statistically, focused on the family, did a study back in 2021 that said 70% of Christian men are struggling with pornography, and so I was like, well, I mean, we can start addressing the demand, you know, by pointing to Christ as the solution.

Brandon McRay: 9:54

And part of it, too, was like I wish I would have had a brother who was free from this right, that I could confide in confidently. Yeah, and so that's what I did. I just started sharing my testimony with guys in my small group, fellow military brothers with guys in my small group, fellow military brothers, and just sharing what the Lord was doing with me and offering to go one-on-one and coach them to help them find the freedom that they so desperately desire, right. And so that was six years ago when I started doing that. That was six years ago when I started doing that. And then. So our ministry model, our nonprofit, is the Transform Discipleship Ministry, and so our ministry model is once a brother finds freedom going through this one-on-one coaching process, we hope and pray that he will turn around and start coaching and join us as a coach, because the best way to continue in purity and freedom is to is to drag someone along right, encourage someone along in that process, and so that's been our model. We've been doing it for six years. It's been amazing, super hard, super difficult, but I mean, scripture is true, right, all things are possible with God. And so, yeah, he's really transforming lives, our home church here.

Brandon McRay: 11:12

I took it to our men's pastor and I was like, hey, this is working. At the time they were starting to realize the severity of the issue going on within the Big C church and so, um, five years ago, we rolled it out there and just slowly started. Um, guys started coming forward. So it was the men's pastor and I that were the first two coaches and then, and then we just started, you know, helping guys. And then we realized we had a tactical problem because, uh, we had a tactical problem because we had more guys coming forward than we had coaches available. And so, fortunately, my friend, the men's pastor, started putting a call out for guys that are free to join us so we would train them up. It's really not that hard. I know you're going to get into the book in a minute, but it's really just overly relying on the Lord under relying on yourself, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation and just trusting him to come through in the way that only only he can.

Chris Grainger: 12:14

I'm curious, man. So, first of all, awesome, you're crushing it. So the coaches that you, that you're working with, like that you're looking for? Is it better to have a coach who's never had a pornography issue, or is it better to have a coach who has had one and has come free of it?

Brandon McRay: 12:33

Good question. So, if, if, if a guy has never had this struggle, praise God for you. That's, that's amazing, but that's not who we're looking for, and so, mainly because this discipleship model right is, is someone who has the street credibility, yeah Right, of being delivered from, from the, from the stronghold, and so you know that's. That's one of the really important pieces of this. This whole thing is having another brother who's strong and courageous to say, hey, man, I've been delivered from this and I want to turn around and help someone else. Right, I want to. I want to disciple someone and help them find that freedom, that same freedom that I'm experiencing now. Right, where I've got again that peace of mind and heart. Right, like my marriage is better than it's ever been. Right, I'm closer to God than I've ever been. Generational sin is cut off from my kids. Right, they're not going to catch anything on my devices that they shouldn't be seeing, like all these different second and third order effects that are a result of being strong and courageous man.

Chris Grainger: 13:48

I'm just hats off to you again. So, as you, as you built this out, you put this book together. You also mentioned Fred, you know, and the wonderful things that he, that he's built. So how did the curriculum come to be, you know? Cause, as you're coaching and getting a coach prepared, you got to have some content, and that can be the hard part, because then you're getting down to application at that point. So how did that whole process work for you?

Brandon McRay: 14:11

Yeah. So fortunately, guys like Fred and Michael Cusick and a bunch of other really smart, intelligent guys have written Christian purity curriculum already on this Right. So we're like, well, there's no point in reinventing the wheel, right, like sure it's already out there. And so what we do is we use that curriculum right as a tool to help facilitate the conversation.

Brandon McRay: 14:39

And so, so that you know that is what we're. We're again helping, helping to facilitate the conversation. We're again helping to facilitate the conversation, but sometimes honestly, like we might not even touch the curriculum, because one week you know we're dealing with a bigger issue, right, and like the Holy Spirit leads the conversation and we're, you know, and so that's what we use as far as the curriculum is concerned. And then the Transformed After P porn book is really a guidebook. So, like, as I'm, as I've been doing this over the last six years, um, you know, I'm I'm starting to realize like, okay, I need, yeah, just like you said, right, I need to build this out and and and have a model, have something that guys can follow, literally as a guidebook, and so that's.

Brandon McRay: 15:31

I didn't want to write a book, but I felt the Lord wanted me to, and so I'm learning to, you know, just be obedient and say yes, even though it's hard, and so, yeah, so I wrote it out and so, so, yeah, so I wrote it out and it's, it's for any, any church that's interested in implementing this ministry model within their organization, any coach that's interested in running this as a personal ministry. We've got the whole thing in there. That's laid out and yeah that's awesome, man.

Chris Grainger: 16:05

That's awesome. We'll take our first break. Guys, be right back. I don't know about you, but I used to find Mondays really rough. I would find myself trying to reset for work, trying to get my bearing on the family calendar, trying to find time for my own spiritual growth and development, and often I found myself overwhelmed or just flatly ignoring aspects of my life that I know are meaningful to me. What I learned was that if I had immediate access to important and impactful spiritual topics and reflections to start my week well after the allure of a Sunday sermon has passed, I would set my whole week up to be more meaningful and for the opportunity to make a true impact.

Chris Grainger: 16:54

If you think that getting such a boost would help your week to get started on the right foot, we would love for you to sign up for the Weekly Roar, which is our newsletter that is produced by the Lion Within Us. Each week will deliver a powerful reflection and practical steps to help you apply Scripture with clarity and purpose, all being rooted in light and truth. So in just a few minutes, we hope to arm you with insights for living out biblical leadership with confidence and strength, and maybe even have a little extra bounce in your step. If that sounds useful, head over to the lion within dot us slash roar to sign up today. That's the lion within dot us slash ROAR to get your weekly roar today. To get your weekly roar today.

Chris Grainger: 17:49

So, brandon, I got to know man. So give me an idea for a guy who is interested in entering you know your program and one-on-one coaching. What can they expect from an experience standpoint? Is this a month's you know long type process? I mean, just give me an idea of a feel what they can expect coming in from day one and the time requirement and things like that.

Brandon McRay: 18:11

Yeah, so we have an agreement that both the brother in Christ is who we address the struggling brother as, because that's what he is, and the coach. So the reason for the agreement is really expectation management, right, like here's what you can expect from me as your coach and here's what I'm expecting for you from you as a brother in Christ. And so, within that agreement, it says, okay, we're going to agree to meet for one hour a week for eight weeks straight, okay, and and if we, if for most of the purity curriculum that's out there, if you do two chapters a week, okay, that would be eight weeks. Okay, that's, but that's the initial commitment. So much like the lion within us, right, we're trying to build a brotherhood as well of authenticity, right Of, of men that are that are willing to be strong and courageous with regard to this, this stronghold, and so, like we're committed, like we're we're, yeah, our initial commitment is eight weeks. But once we see, right, the Lord doing the work, like and it's hard not to get excited about it, um, right, I shared with you a little bit, um, at the beginning, about what the Lord has allowed me to do. I recruited to play football.

Brandon McRay: 19:33

All at West Point, went off for combat deployments, flew helicopters, armed drones, retired as a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force. Like three you know three kids, married 22 years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You know three kids, married 22 years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, aside from having a Proverbs 31 woman as a wife, raising kids and, first of all, choosing to follow Jesus Christ, right, like when I'm coaching someone and see the Lord like start to pivot him from. Like I can't stop looking at pornography or less than after women and masturbating to. I don't want to have pornography or less than after women and masturbating to. I don't want to have anything to do with that anymore. Right, and you see the Lord and that's why we call it transform, right, cause he's being transformed by the renewing of the mind, like dude, it's highly contagious, like exciting. So that's your, that's your fire, bro.

Chris Grainger: 20:26

That's what it's about, man. But the stat you know 70 to 70, I've heard 75%. And then I hear it's like what? Almost 50% of women. Now it's in the 40s, when the cumulative men and women in a Christian church it's well past half. 50%, like this is a big deal. I was talking to a guy yesterday or last week, I can't remember, but he went through a seminary and did the training, the biblical training and all that, and I'm like, well, look bro, this is such a big deal of pornography in a church. It's out there, but I rarely hear churches addressing it head on or even knowing how, and it seems like it's such a gap. So you're stepping into that gap, man. So hats off to you. How's it being received by churches right now? Because I would hope that it would be received well, but I know working with churches can be challenging at times, so let's just get real here with it.

Brandon McRay: 21:24

Yeah, so unfortunately, the enemy has done a very good job of keeping this a taboo topic within the church, uh, the big C church, and so, um, yeah, it it it, because, statistically, most men are struggling with it right, like it it it, um, it touches a nerve and I think that's why when we find a church that is willing to come on board and and embrace this ministry model and and give us a chance, um really fires me up.

Brandon McRay: 22:01

Um, you know, I'm just really excited that that we have had opportunities to to go in and but then also, like that's also why, like, we give it an option to run it as a personal ministry right as well, and and we never want to go against like a church leadership and and roll something in that the church isn't in support of. But, um, you know, we, we looked at it as that option as well and, honestly, like, that's what a majority of my coaching is, because I still voluntarily coach and most of my coaching of, uh, you know, keeping it taboo and um, but you know, like, in our home church, like this topic, this ministry hasn't come out on Sunday mornings, like it's been at men's conferences and men's breakfast and us walking around and talking in groups and having one-on-one conversations, so it doesn't have to come from the platform on Sunday mornings, right, so, as you kind of walk me through the ideal scenario, working with the church.

Chris Grainger: 23:18

What does that look like? I mean if I'm just trying to understand. So you're walking in as transformed after porn. This is a, like a bolt-on solution, or is this coming in part with your ministry? Like, give me some some ideas of how this could get integrated, because we've got lots of guys out here listening from a Christian standpoint, a lot of Christian leaders, and they may be interested. Okay, how would we move forward with something like this?

Brandon McRay: 23:41

Yeah, great question and thanks for asking that. So I'll start off by saying if you get the book, it'll lay it all out for you. But, um, but essentially what we're targeting, you know, and it depends on the church size, but, um, we're target targeting, you know, the either the pastor, men's pastor or men's lay leader. Okay, so that's, that's someone who we would like to have a conversation with. All right, right, because really what we need is a champion. We need somebody that's passionate about this, that is free first of all, obviously Right and then but has a passion to see men go to a deeper level with Christ by having him deliver them from this sin Right, from this thing that is, I would say, is crushing the big C church right now statistically. And so that's who we want to have a conversation with, because we need a champion.

Brandon McRay: 24:40

I was a lay leader at our home church. I had pastoral oversight. This can be a layman led program and work effectively, and so so, having that conversation, that's where us me as a, as a nonprofit ministry, I'm offering to come in and consult and have a conversation about how to roll it out, what it would look like, cause, essentially, once we get um, one man that is is passionate about this and helping we. We identify him as the head coach and so, like he's available to start coaching right away and so he in theory could read transformed after porn, talk with us, let me know if he has any questions, answer any questions he has and then you know, pick one of the really good purity curriculum and start having a conversation with guys about finding freedom.

Chris Grainger: 25:34

Okay. So I mean I know the answer, but I want to ask you, just so you can let the guys who are listening think through it Like, how do you get the guys that are okay, you got that champion, you're set up, they're ready to move forward? I can't imagine this is a sign-up sheet at the back of the church, like hey, I'm struggling with porn, so here's my phone, here's my email, right? So it's got to be super delicate I kid, but I'm being serious, because churches don't know how to handle this sometimes. So how do you go about doing that to get those guys in a safe place to identify?

Brandon McRay: 26:09

hey, I need help here yeah, so there's a couple different ways. One of the ways that we talk about in the book is having a lead connector. Okay, so someone who, uh, is also free and meets with the men regularly, so can go and have a conversation over coffee or lunch and be like you know, hey, where are you at with regard?

Chris Grainger: 26:27

to the one-on-one type of got it. Okay, yeah, and then also.

Brandon McRay: 26:31

So what we did at our church is on the men's ministry um website. On the church website, under the men's ministry part, there was a link that you could click on and send an email to the men's pastor. So the lead connector and so like that is completely confidential as well.

Chris Grainger: 26:49

Right, right, that's great. That's great because I could see some churches trying this and going the wrong way. Man, this is not signing up for the uh, for for caroling.

Brandon McRay: 26:57

You know this is not how it works yeah, and but you know, to that point, to that point, like got man, I gotta say, like this is, this is such a rewarding ministry, right To to, to really be tested and and and again, overly relying on the Lord under relying on yourself, because, man, this is hard stuff, you know. Yeah, it's not caroling, it's not, you know, open up, opening up a door and greeting, like this is some some stuff and so, and to that point, you know, we talk about it in the book, but we we have, you know, professional sex counselors, sex addiction therapists that we refer guys out to if it's too deep, and it's not something that we feel that we can help with. Like we are, we are tied in to to those folks, to to send them over and get some help amen, man, amen.

Chris Grainger: 27:57

So is it, men? Only right now that you're working with so?

Brandon McRay: 28:01

it is. We are trying to be really good at the one thing we've been tasked with right now, however, all we need is one strong and courageous woman to step forward that's free and wants to make a difference, and I believe this ministry model can be used to help women find freedom.

Chris Grainger: 28:24

What's been some of the feedback on marriage, specifically for guys who have gone through your program? And I'm just curious do you hear from the spouses Like I'm just, I'm always, I like this stuff because this is encouraging guys to go ahead and take those first steps, any feedback that jumps out to you?

Brandon McRay: 28:42

Yeah, so the beautiful part of my wife being on board with this and if she were on board with it six years ago, there's no way I'd be talking to you today, but she has agreed to come alongside the wives and do the same thing as far as coaching with regard to the restoration of the marriage. So that's been a beautiful thing. So that's been a beautiful thing. You know, fred wrote a book the title's escaping me right now on that. I think it's Restoring the Heart on that, which is really good. And so you know, we do recommend that, once a brother finds freedom, that him and his wife get into some kind of marriage counseling, marriage group, some something to help with the restoration process.

Brandon McRay: 29:36

Right, right, um, because this is, you know, it's Matthew 5, 28,. Right, I mean, you've, you've committed adultery in your heart and so like there is a betrayal that has happened there and it's deep and it's and it's um, it needs to be healed, and so so we have that um lined up, something that we really recommend. And I'll tell you, chris, one of the biggest compliments that we get is when we hear guys that, uh, are either going through the program or have gone through. The wife doesn't necessarily know. The confidential coaching is happening right now, but the wife says to the brother in christ what has changed about you? You're no longer angry, you're no longer snapping at the kids like there is something that is very different about you and like that is like man hallelujah, like that is the lord and and we're like the Lord is totally in this, and it's beautiful to hear those words.

Chris Grainger: 30:43

It is man, and I want to go back to something you said at the very beginning, because I've heard this now from a couple of guys and you mentioned that your wife is usually, in most cases, not the best accountability partner in a topic like this and it seems like that's a big you know reasons why you put you know one-on-one men, coaching men, iron, sharpening iron but why for you, specifically, was did you learn? Did you you know, do you feel that way? And just based off of it sounds like part of your journey? It was some learning there as well.

Brandon McRay: 31:15

Yeah, absolutely, it was the, it was the experience. You know, I think that was the thing that hit me the hardest, and um, and and, and and and the. Really, the reason that I think the Lord wanted me to to to start this whole thing is because, you know, I mean it's just it's it's on a different level, like we were talking about before, because I mean you're just getting real right with another brother and again, once you've had the street credibility right and you've come, the Lord has delivered you from this stronghold, like it is it. It sets you apart, and so it's super cool to be a part of. It's super cool to to be entrusted right To, to get to do this, to partner with the Lord. You know, we, we, we do believe, um, accountability partners are, are great, um, they, they are a help for sure. Um, however, that's horizontal accountability, right, right. What we want to get to is vertical accountability, right, and so, like cause, what happens if your accountability partner graduates and goes to heaven?

Brandon McRay: 32:32

like, you know, or or whatever you know, like, know like. At the end of the day and that's what we really try and get to with this ministry model is we ultimately fear the Lord and we want to please him, and so that's the reason that we want to find freedom.

Chris Grainger: 32:52

And it's wonderful what you're doing. I mean as you, as you build this out. You have a wonderful ministry model. You have goals. How does how does the finances work? And then what does it look like? You know what. What's the end goal? If you, if you want to look for success for Transform After Porn, I mean you assume you're doing that You'll be doing that full time. You have a staff of coaches like give us some some future vision and also have the funding. So if you guys want to support, they can understand that.

Brandon McRay: 33:19

Yeah, absolutely so. So we are first of all happy to accept anybody that would like to come alongside and support our mission. You know, if you want to see men restored marriages, restored generational sin cut off, if that is in your heart, yeah, TransformDMcom. You can click the donate button. We'd we would love to have monthly supporters. That would would be in support of what we're trying to do, cause, essentially, what we're trying to do, I firmly believe, chris, this can be in any Bible believing church in the world.

Brandon McRay: 33:51

This ministry model, and so, um, so yeah, from the get-go, we'll gladly welcome any of that. Also, the Lord put it on my heart, though, that he does not want finances to be a reason. Men can't find freedom from pornography, and so all of our coaches are volunteers Okay, so they're all volunteers, volunteers, okay, so they're all volunteers. Um, if a church were to adopt our ministry model, my plan is, you know, we come in, we consult, we. It takes off like wildfire. Men start finding freedom left and right, and then, once that happens, the church consider, uh, giving back to the ministry in order to help us go and help more men find freedom and help more churches get established, get this ministry model established.

Chris Grainger: 34:45

Love it, man, love it. We'll be praying for you. For sure We'll take our last break. Guys, we'll be right back. We have wrapped this up with Brandon. When I reflect on the kind of things that the men who participated in our discipleship masterminds had in the past, I am overwhelmed by the quality of their comments and commitment to each other. Several of the guys commented that this was the most meaningful leadership experience they've encountered, and we even had one man log into a discipleship mastermind while a hurricane was hitting his house. He was that committed and received that much from his peer group that he didn't want to miss it. Because of this extraordinary commitment and because it's a true gift and pleasure, we made them a core part of our community and we hope you might join us. We sit up men with their own peer advisory group of seven individuals that meet every other week for 12 weeks. Each member shares areas they want to focus on, such as improving their prayer life, being more intentional with their wives or maybe shedding a few extra pounds Together.

Chris Grainger: 36:01

We help them strategize, make commitments, find accountability and learn. It's been our experience that most guys want a community of trustworthy men to share their ideas and create support for each other with, and it's been our experience that most men don't either create this for themselves or seek them out. So we do this because we want you to have that in your life, and all that is needed to begin winning is you. If this sounds interesting, check out our community to see the dates and times of when these different groups meet. Visit the lion within dot us to start your free trial of our community. To get started today, that's the lion within dot us, and I would love to see you lean in and tap into the power of our discipleship masterminds into the power of our discipleship masterminds. All right, brandon. So I mean, you know, walk me through the book process, though, man. So you said you didn't want to write it, but you wrote it. How long did it take you to put it all together?

Brandon McRay: 37:08

It took about a year.

Chris Grainger: 37:10

Okay, okay, did you learn a lot through it?

Brandon McRay: 37:14

Yeah, learned that I'll need a lot of help.

Chris Grainger: 37:20

Well, yeah, you did it out, man, because you did a great job with it well, thank you, I appreciate that.

Brandon McRay: 37:26

It uh, I tell you what, every time I sat down to write, you know, and I didn't like take a sabbatical or go off to the mountains maybe it would have been more productive if I did that, but you know, I'm doing it as well as you know, working my day job as well as coaching guys, as well as running the ministry, as well as running kids all around, and so it was really just man, every time I sat down like, okay, Lord, I need you to what do you want me to say here? You know, and and and, to begin even with the outline. You know, okay, let's, how does this outline look? What? What is the end result? And I think that's where, like it, it actually turned into an enjoyable experience for me.

Brandon McRay: 38:13

And so, just getting to go through, and then you probably, like, saw the testimonies from the guys that have gone through, Even my wife's testimony. Man, as hard as that was to to read, I was like man. I was just so thankful that so many men were going to come forward and just share what the Lord has been doing in their lives through this ministry.

Chris Grainger: 38:38

Amen, brother, amen. Well, brandon, hats off to you. We always like to wrap up the line with a fun lightning round, so if you're willing to play man, we'll jump in. We'll have some fun here at the end, and then we'll definitely give shout outs to where guys can go get connected man, okay, all right. What's a hobby? What do you enjoy doing for fun?

Brandon McRay: 38:55

Oh man, I love fishing, I love fishing. Yeah, Fishing is man, that is, if I could do that every day Freshwater fishing yeah. We're here in Fort Worth, Texas, so you got to settle for that. But occasionally my sister and I will run down to the coast when we can and try and catch some reds.

Chris Grainger: 39:19

Nice man, nice Okay, what's what's your?

Brandon McRay: 39:20

what's your favorite food? What do you enjoy the most? I'm a steak and potatoes guy. I mean, I am from Texas, so you know. But but yeah, my, my wife and I like to go to this like specialty taco place here in Fort Worth called Velvet Taco and they got like a you know Nashville hot chicken and waffle taco and they got like a you know nashville hot chicken and waffle taco and a pig taco. And yeah, it's pretty, it's good stuff that's awesome.

Chris Grainger: 39:45

What about uh sports teams? You know you mentioned west point. Any professional teams you follow college?

Brandon McRay: 39:50

uh, so, army, hey, we're 10 and 1 right now. Praise the lord, uh, we're doing well. Yeah, that's my team. Uh, nfl man, I've never really been that big of a huge nfl fan. Um, surprisingly, my son's an eagles fan and we live in cowboy country. Okay, he gets hated on a lot, um, but he stands firm, man he's. He's like. He wears his Eagles jersey to church on Sunday when they're playing the Cowboys.

Chris Grainger: 40:22

Hey, hurts is my quarterback in fantasy football right now, so I'm all with him, man, let's go, let's do it. How about when you look through the last year, bro? What did you spend too much time doing?

Brandon McRay: 40:36

Worrying year, bro. What'd you spend too much time doing? Worrying, worrying about how this was supposed to look? Man, my verse in season right now is Psalm 16, 8. It says I will let the Lord guide me because he is at my right hand. I will not be shaken. And so just really, you know you mentioned it earlier about trying, you know, eventually scaling this thing and this is my passion, you could probably tell but just trusting the Lord in that process and what that looks like, and scaling it as he sees fit, not how I see fit, love it.

Chris Grainger: 41:18

You've mentioned the Lord here. What's your favorite thing about God?

Brandon McRay: 41:23

How he always comes through. Let's flip it, go ahead. No, yeah, how he always comes through and his plan is always better than mine, like you know, like I think I want this and it's like here's something better, you know, and it may be less you know that's right.

Chris Grainger: 41:48

Let's flip it now.

Brandon McRay: 41:49

Least favorite thing about the evil one how he's taken out so many men through this sin.

Chris Grainger: 41:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's real, bro. Last one for the lightning round for you, brandon, is what do you hope? The guys listening, specifically the guys we do have some ladies, but the guys listening remember the most about our conversation today.

Brandon McRay: 42:11

That God loves you and he wants to have a deep and abiding relationship with you and he wants you to go all in on him and he wants you to take that strong and courageous step, whatever that looks like, whatever you're struggling with, and just talk to a trusted friend and confess right, james 5, 16, and confess right, james five, five, um 16, I think, um, you know, just trust, trust the process, trust him. Uh, he's worth going all in on 100%, 100%.

Chris Grainger: 42:48

So, brandon, where did the guys go to get a copy of this awesome book, to get connected with you, the wonderful things that you're doing with your ministry?

Brandon McRay: 42:55

Yeah, so transformdncom that's our website. You can get connected there. You can email me at brandon at transformdmcom, happy to chat with anybody. It's really exciting what we're doing and can't thank you enough, chris, for being in support of what we got going on A hundred percent.

Chris Grainger: 43:17

Brother, all in, I'm going to be sending guys from the lion to you. This comes across our plate all the time. This is nothing new, it's pretty regular. It's great to have a partner in Christ now and a fellow brother that we can point them to directly. Guys, it'll be in the show notes. Go check out the links. This is going to be the book of the week. Imagine that. So get prepared for your fun. Friday We'll be talking about this again. Go check out the wonderful stuff Brandon's doing. Man, it's been an honor. Thank you so much for what you're doing, brother.

Brandon McRay: 43:46

Thank you so much, chris Blessings, to you, brother.

Chris Grainger: 43:51

I find it helps me to have a guide at times when I'm reading and studying the Bible. One way that helps me is by using devotionals to guide not only what I read but insights into the scriptures themselves. So we were blessed to become an author on the YouVersion Bible app and we saw an immediate opportunity to help others with devotionals around the areas that we spend the most time talking about at the Lion Within Us. So if you enjoy the show, you may enjoy these devos as well. We have some guys that are using them as part of their small groups as well, as they're a great way to get conversations going. So, to see the ones that we created, head over to thelionwithinus to learn more. So that's thelionwithinus, to get started with your own men's devotional today. All right, guys, I told you this is going to be a great one. I told you we're going to talk about a lot of just really meaningful, impactful things. Brandon didn't disappoint. I knew he wouldn't. The scripture, rather.

Chris Grainger: 44:55

The question of the week this week is who has God placed in your life to disciple? Okay, I know somebody is in your life that you can disciple right now. Who is it and what steps are you taking to actually pursue that discipleship? You know the evil. One really hopes that you put this off, and you think you know what. I think he's calling me to it, but I'm going to let someone else in, if that's your mindset, going into it, he's one. We cannot let this happen to us. You have power, you have an opportunity, you have the ability, you have the requirement to get out there and make disciples. This is a command that Jesus gave. It wasn't some simple. If you feel like it, no, bro, we have to Now, at the Land, within Us, we do this all the time. This is literally what we do. We disciple leaders. That's the whole model. We disciple leaders, and I have guys in my life that I'm discipling, and I have guys in my life that are discipling me, because I can't do this by myself and do this by myself, and neither can you.

Chris Grainger: 46:00

So, particularly if this topic of pornography has hit you hard today and you know, you know that you've got to start dealing with it, but you don't know how I'd encourage you to one, check out Brandon's resources and, two, check out the line with Dennis. Come in, have genuine conversations, have connections, have the ability to talk with fellow brothers in Christ about the struggles, about the attacks of the evil one about your marriage. Now, the evil one doesn't want you to because he wants your marriage to fail. He wants you to fail, but I don't, neither does Brandon. So thelionwithinus is how you get connected with us. Go check out our free resources we all have all that stuff but then also check out our offerings. Step into the community. Step out of that darkness and into the light, all right guys. So look, give us a rating and review. That helps big time. Go to the Lion Within that's thelionwithinus to find all our resources. That definitely helps, for sure.

Chris Grainger: 46:54

Maybe you want to jump on and support the show as a sponsoring someone else. This is a great way. If you know a brother in Christ who struggles with this, sponsor them for a year in the Lion Within Us community. That's showing that you're making it to them. You're saying I believe in you, I'm going to make this investment because I know that you can be the leader that God's called you to be. We're going to help you. We'll take the hard part. You just get them in there. All right guys, we'll see you back on Friday for a fun Friday episode. Get after it. Have a great day. Remember to keep unleashing the lion within.