Chris Grainger: 1:19

Subtitles by the Amaraorg community. Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I'm your host, Chris Granger. Let's jump in. All right, guys, it's your meat episode. I'm excited to be here with you, so let's get right into it. So our scripture of the week this week it's in the book of Joshua, first chapter, ninth verse. Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid, Do not be discouraged, for the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go. Love that verse, guys. Go back and listen to the spiritual kickoff where we unpack that at length. Okay, so have questions on that one? Just back up in your feed one podcast and it'll be right there. So this episode has been one in the works for a while. This is my buddy, Stu Grazier. He is an amazing guy. He's a retired Navy pilot. He had 20 years in the military. He's a retired.

Stuart Grazier: 2:43

Navy pilot.

Chris Grainger: 2:43

He had 20 years in the military. He did a 14 month deployment in Iraq.

Chris Grainger: 2:47

And he had. Really, it was during that deployment he did a deep dive into his faith as well as real estate investing. All the different things just started manifesting through his life and then he has. He's done some incredible things. He has lots of investment properties out there so far as how he's taking the rental properties and turn that into more and more of passive income. But the cool thing that I'm really excited about which is what he's going to talk about is how he's turned a lot of his focus into helping men grow to be the men that ultimately God's calling to be, but really more with their finances, with their careers, as well as with their families. So, guys, it's a great conversation with Stu. He's been married to his wife, crystal, for 15 years. They got two kids a nine-year-old little girl and a six-year-old little boy. They live in Colorado Fun stuff. This is one.

Chris Grainger: 3:44

He's got another podcast as well. He works with a partner named David. I've been on that show. Just had so much fun with him. When I went on the show I was like all right, stu, you need to come hang out on the line with us. Pretty excited that you guys got a chance to listen to him. His story is awesome, obviously, the service he did to him in the military. We thank him for that and I just think he's just one of those guys who's really trying to be intentional about being there with his wife, being there for his kids and being a good steward of what God's provided for him. So, guys, enjoy this conversation with my buddy, stu Grazier. So, stu, welcome to the Lion with Dennis. How are you doing today, brother?

Stuart Grazier: 4:22

I'm doing fantastic. Man, it's good to see you. Good to catch up. I like your locks, dude, it's looking good. Last time you had short hair, we were talking.

Chris Grainger: 4:31

I know, bro, and I got a ton of heat this morning on YouTube because of my hair, I mean. But one of my brothers in Christ, he went to battle for me. He let the guy have it so it's pretty awesome, but yeah, big hair goals man.

Stuart Grazier: 4:44

Don't let haters hate man.

Chris Grainger: 4:45

I'll tell you what, bro. I mean this dude came at me ferocious. I was like, okay, brother, the rest of my pack guy took care of him. Though. Nice, nice, I like it. It's kind of cool when others fight your battles, you know.

Stuart Grazier: 4:59

That's right, man, that's right. Got to have your army.

Chris Grainger: 5:02

That's it, brother. Well, I mean, this has been, like I said, a long time coming, man. You've had me on your show, kinetic man. You got a lot of things going on there. Man, give us something fun about you first, though, before we get into what you're doing and stuff. What's a fun fact about Stu?

Stuart Grazier: 5:14

to not make people know Fun fact about Stu, here's one I have about half of my face filled with metal. I had multiple sports injuries at different times. All ended up requiring lots of surgery and lots of metal in my face. So I had a high school football injury that basically fractured my jaw in half. So I have a fake tooth. Right here I have metal, an entire huge plate of metal across my jaw screws. And then in high school or in college I played college baseball and had a dude run me over coming into first base. His knee went into my eye socket and it completely fractured my entire eye socket orbital here. So I have a huge metal plate here and screws up above my eye and so, yeah, so like half of my face is metal and you would never know or could tell. But the surgeons did a great job, thankfully, and didn't impact my naval career whatsoever. But, yeah, something fun about me.

Chris Grainger: 6:22

There you go, brother. So you're a first baseman.

Stuart Grazier: 6:26

No, I played second base in college and I was covering first base on a bunt I got you. The pitcher took it, threw it down really low and I went to go aim for it to catch it and as I was reaching for it, the runner was coming in and his knee impacted my eye socket as I was trying to catch the ball.

Chris Grainger: 6:45

Oh, my gracious bro.

Stuart Grazier: 6:46

Yeah.

Chris Grainger: 6:47

Wow, where'd you play? Where'd you play ball at?

Stuart Grazier: 6:50

The Naval Academy. I went to the Naval Academy, played there Division I ball for a couple of years and then that injury kind of had a major impact on continuing to play. I tried to come back and play and I was just skittish at the plate. I wasn't taking ground balls, you know very well, and so I ended up calling it quits after my sophomore year playing college.

Chris Grainger: 7:11

I hear you, brother, man. Well, share some of your stories too. Let the listeners get to know who you are, man. I'm excited just because I know how many awesome things you're doing, but maybe talk us back to your faith journey as well, as you unpack it for us.

Stuart Grazier: 7:26

Yeah, sure, I don't know how far you want me to go back, but I'll start kind of from the college days. So I went to college, like I said, played baseball at the Naval Academy, did four years there and then immediately from the Naval Academy you get commissioned as an officer in the Navy.

Chris Grainger: 7:44

Right.

Stuart Grazier: 7:45

And I went pilot. So I went to Pensacola, florida, learned how to fly helicopters in the Navy and ended up doing long story short, I did 20 years of service in the Navy as a pilot, flew helicopters for 10 years and then transitioned and flew Boeing 737s for the Navy for a couple years and then transitioned and flew a Boeing 737s for the Navy for a couple of years until I realized I didn't really like the lifestyle of an airline pilot, which I thought that was the direction I wanted to go, and ended up kind of finishing my career just kind of on the staff route. Finished my career in Colorado, which is where my dad is originally from, and so I had a lot of family here and ended up retiring 20 years to the day in Colorado. And we are now here and doing life here in Colorado.

Stuart Grazier: 8:32

I'm married to my beautiful bride, crystal, of 15 years now, and we have two amazing children, collins, age nine, my daughter, and then I have a son, age six. His name is Wells, and so they keep me really busy. We were kind of joking before we started the podcast. You know summertime can be challenging. We intentionally really tried to not do a lot of summer camps and stuff to keep them busy and really wanted to be present and just do dad a lot this summer and that can be amazing, but it can also be a challenge at times, and today you gave me an excuse to come into the office and do a podcast and so taking a little bit of a break from from dad and so hard.

Chris Grainger: 9:14

So so it's good man, I hear you, brother. I'm curious on the stuff you were doing to with the as a pilot. What did you not like about it? He said he didn't like the lifestyle too much travel time away from home.

Stuart Grazier: 9:28

What was it? That's it. I liked flying, I enjoyed it, but the lifestyle of an airline pilot is essentially what I was doing in the Navy. We were moving people all over the world, flying around the world trips, moving cargo and passengers. You're just gone a lot, um, fortunately, uh, I had not started my family yet. You know I was married, um, but uh, we had not had kids in the equation just yet.

Stuart Grazier: 9:56

Um, and, and you know, just being gone from, from my wife and from my dog, like I just I just miss them. And so, you know, being gone all the time, living out of a suitcase, being in a different hotel room every night, um, it's challenging and it's great for some people, but it just wasn't for me. Um, you know, we we can kind of get into some of the motivation behind what I'm doing now, but you know, one of the things that I really wanted to do was just be present at home and be that present father figure for my kids and be there for everything right Take them to school, be at the school dances, be at the ballet practices, be at the baseball practices I'm the coach of my son's little league team and just be there for everything right, and you can't do that as an airline pilot. You're just gone. So I just didn't want that type of lifestyle for myself.

Chris Grainger: 10:48

I get it, brother, I get it. What about your faith journey? Before you kind of get into stuff you're doing now, tell us a little bit about your faith journey, brother. Yeah.

Stuart Grazier: 11:00

So, growing up, I grew up in Texas, born in Dallas, lived there for a while. My mother and father divorced when I was five years old and my father moved away. So for quite a while I grew up in a single-family household with my mom raising both my sister and I. You know we said we were Christians but at the time we didn't really know what that meant. Right, my mom remarried, I moved down to central Texas, to a small town and small town Texas there's a lot of churches and you know people would go to church on Sundays and then on Monday they'd go right back to you know booze in and you know all the stuff you're not.

Stuart Grazier: 11:36

You say you're not going to do on Sunday, but then you go and do it on on on Monday. So I saw a lot of that through high school and I I said I was a believer, but I didn't really know what that meant. I probably didn't really walk the walk Even into being in the Navy, kind of the same. I said I was a Christian, but I really didn't act like a Christian. I didn't really act out what I said was important to me act out what.

Stuart Grazier: 12:05

I said was important to me. Shortly in the Navy I got tagged to go on a long deployment to Iraq. At the time of the Iraqi war the Army was getting deployed like crazy and they were having multiple iterations of deployments where Army soldiers were just getting killed by going, going, going, going all the time. So they reached out to other services and they asked the Navy to participate and offer up bodies to augment them in all their deployments. And so I got tagged to go and augment one of the Army units, doing nothing that I knew how to do, to go and augment one of the army units. I'm doing nothing that I knew how to do, but I went over to Iraq for it was a 14-month deployment shortly after my wife and I got married 14 months.

Stuart Grazier: 12:54

It was 14 months. Yeah, I was 10 months on ground in Iraq with you know, four months of training on the front end, um, away from home, um, so yeah it was.

Stuart Grazier: 13:07

It was a long time and, um, you know, again, I said I was a Christian. Uh, I said I was a believer, um, but you know I had my big stack of pornography DVDs with me that I took with me to to deployment, um, and I mean, something happened out there. I mean God driven, obviously, but I really found my faith when I was out there. There was an army unit and there was an army chaplain that was deployed with the unit and we connected pretty quickly when I was on the ground there and we started meeting on a regular basis. He wanted to start up this coffee shop, this coffee house. There's this old shack and his army unit found the funds to rehabilitate it and turn it into a coffee house and he had volunteers come and serve coffee in the mornings before everyone had to go to their offices and we started doing a Bible study together.

Stuart Grazier: 14:05

We got a group of men together and, yeah, man, it was awesome and really started to start my faith journey and really kind of figure out what really being a Christian was right, really being a believer and a follower. I threw all my pornography away. I started reading the Bible every day. I started, you know, talking with him about stuff and that just started the journey. And, uh, you know, I just came back, my wife and I started going to church, found a church in San Diego, california, where we were living, and and that kind of just started, you know, the the true walk um you know, to where I am now, man, I'm light years ahead of where I was.

Stuart Grazier: 14:46

I still got a long way to go, obviously, but then connecting with David David he's my co-host of our podcast and my business partner and everything. We were college roommates together and he now lives in the same city with me and man we meet on a regular basis, we share offices together, we do work together. We city with me and man. We meet on a regular basis, we share offices together, we do work together, we do life together and we just hold each other accountable to continue to go on that journey together and walk in our faith. And it's been a true blessing, man. It's been a lot of fun.

Chris Grainger: 15:17

That's awesome, man. I mean that chaplain. Was it a Navy or Army chaplain?

Stuart Grazier: 15:22

He was an Army chaplain for the navy was it a navy army chaplain.

Chris Grainger: 15:24

He was an army chaplain yeah, army chaplain in iraq, that's cool man. So I mean, was he kind of just taking you as one-on-one discipleship, just walking with you through something, answering your questions, exposing you to scriptures like what did that look like?

Stuart Grazier: 15:35

yeah, we did a lot of one-on-one meeting, um, and then we did a group bible study, okay, together. Um, and uh, you know, we we just hung out a lot, right, we just drank coffee together. We would meet as much as we could. Um, he got, uh, his, his army unit funded for um, dave Ramsey's uh, financial peace university. So we all, you know, we took that class together. Um, so we, just, you know, every chance we got, we we would just hang out, and and we, you know, we took that class together. So we, just, you know, every chance we got, we would just hang out. And we, you know, we, I started volunteering at the coffee shop to like serve coffee in the mornings for people that would come and get coffee early in the morning, and just, you know, fellowship.

Chris Grainger: 16:16

It was just a really cool time. That's cool man, and so it sounded like that was a little bit of a growing ministry too, which you wouldn't have thought that you know been based off the environment, but that was really cool to hear that man. Yeah, it was man.

Stuart Grazier: 16:31

It was. You know, I won't ever forget it. It was definitely some, again God-driven for sure, to put someone like that in my life. You know, just a divine appointment to kind of wake me up, uh, to to kind of wake me up. And you know also the uh, the Thursday, uh, bombings and rocket attacks, uh, you know there's, there's a lot of time to do some some serious uh, reflection of prayer and ask for help.

Chris Grainger: 16:54

Right, right, gracious. Hey guys, we're going to take our first break. We'll be right back, though, if you're a man who's looking for greater spiritual guidance into how to become a better leader, finding resources that you can trust and then implement can be daunting For me personally. I thought it was a lost cause and I decided to take the action, knowing that I wasn't alone. It was because of this wide gap that we created our line within this community, and the areas that we're helping Christian men grow are incredible. For instance, we've built ways for guys to lean in and grow through fun events like our daily spiritual kickoff, where you get that much needed boost directly from God's word. Our Bible studies that always focus on how to discern and apply what we learn, on how to discern and apply what we learn, and even our amazing form, where you can speak your mind without fear of getting shut down or judged by the extreme rules of modern day social media. On top of all that, we know that many men won't help overcoming issues and becoming stronger in many different areas. That's why we created several mastermind groups, where the iron truly sharpens the iron.

Chris Grainger: 18:03

Our community is about having a growth mindset, accountability, intentionality and transparency. In other words, just leave, fake you at home and come to community just as you are. I fully believe what we feel. I see the impact it's making on men right now and I would love to have you check it out. So start your very own 30-day free trial today to see how we can help you be a better leader. So, if you're ready to take that first step, head over to thelinewithinus and get started. Your journey begins here. Visit thelinewithinus and I'll see you inside the 10. And Stu, I'm curious man. So you, you you did all that in the Navy, came back and now you've really taken a deep dive into I'm just gonna let you unpack it the way that you talk about investing in real estate. I know that's such a passion for you, man. So what, what, what opened that door for you?

Stuart Grazier: 18:58

Yeah, um, the. So I've always been an entrepreneur at heart. Um, both my parents, uh, were entrepreneurs, um were entrepreneurs, small business owners. And even in college I was like the kid that was running around the halls after hours and trying to sell underground t-shirts, trying to make a couple bucks. And I would say about halfway in the Navy I really got interested in real estate. I took one of those three-day boot camp courses that the gurus offer and they sign you up for the membership, and then that membership offers the bigger, more expensive membership and then it's one-on-one coaching and I did it all. But it was a huge education for me and motivation to really get me started on the entrepreneurial path and to start to create some assets and get really financially savvy and understanding what it means to be an entrepreneur and to be financially strong.

Stuart Grazier: 20:00

So I started that journey, started trying anything and everything within the real estate investing space, failed a lot, had some wins along the way as well, and at about the 15-year mark in the Navy, I got stationed in Naples, italy, and my college roommate from the Naval Academy, david Gutierrez, was also stationed there, and so it was a really cool time that we spent life together. We rode the bus into work every single day. We went on family trips together around Europe. My daughter was born in Italy and so David was there very quickly afterwards to welcome her to the world, and so we just did life together. We worked out together, we had lunch together and we just started talking about what it would look like after the Navy to go into business together.

Stuart Grazier: 20:46

He had been doing some real estate separately. He owns some rental properties. I own some rental properties. We started comparing notes and we knew both of us really didn't want to go into corporate America W-2 job after our time in the Navy you know for for kind of being in that W-2 space for for 20 years, and so so, yeah, so we we decided to start some real estate companies together.

Stuart Grazier: 21:10

He had had some challenges with his rental properties through this quote unquote turnkey company and they were somewhat fraudulent in being turnkey and he had to kind of figure out how to build a team from scratch and kind of replace the people that he had to fire.

Stuart Grazier: 21:31

And so, through that transition and challenge, we built a team, we started buying some rental properties, we started taking on private capital from investors just friends and family and we started flipping houses in Milwaukee, wisconsin, which was where he had bought those rental properties.

Stuart Grazier: 21:49

Word quickly spread of what we were doing, just kind of word of mouth, and we started buying and rehabbing houses, turning them into rental properties and then selling them as a turnkey investment opportunity for our friends and it was primarily for military veterans that wanted to get into the investing space and own assets that were cash flowing. And it grew very quickly to where we were flipping about 50 houses a year. Oh wow, while we were still in the Navy and we were both in leadership positions in the Navy, he was the commanding officer of a big cyber command in Fort Meade, maryland, and I was the executive officer the second in command of a huge 700-person Navy Reserve Center. So we were super, super busy to the point of exhaustion. We had some come-to-Jesus aha moments in around 2021, about a year or so prior to finishing up our 20-year naval career. That made some major pivots for us in our real estate businesses to be a little bit more passive and kind of led us to what we're kind of doing more now, focusing on our podcasting, our men's group Um.

Chris Grainger: 23:07

So yeah, there's there's a lot there that we can unpack. Well, I'd love to unpack some of that for sure. I mean because I'm sure lots of guys are thinking out there, and you mentioned Dave Ramsey already. You know, so I know you had some of that training. So how much did his training conflict with what you were doing?

Stuart Grazier: 23:22

Uh, big time, yeah, big time. Um, you know Dave Ramsey, big time, yeah, big time, dave Ramsey. I like to say now that Dave Ramsey is a great person to follow to get you from a negative net worth to zero to zero net worth, but then at some point you kind of have to contradict what he says, and this is my philosophy. I do think that there is good ways to use debt. You have to be smart with it. But I think that we started to kind of go more of the rich dad, poor dad, robert Kiyosaki kind of way of looking at things, to use debt, to leverage debt smartly, to go and build your wealth and build your assets, and so we started going more that direction.

Stuart Grazier: 24:12

But we've kind of gone back and forth and we don't have the right answer. I love the idea of being completely debt-free and we're going back to more of that idea as we've kind of built those assets and as we've started to kind of start to do that snowball, start to pay down debt Right, and we love the idea of owning those assets that we now own, free and clear. So it's, it's a, it's a roller coaster, it's a, it's a juggle of like you know what you believe and what's right. But you know, if you go back to the truth in the Bible, like he says, um, that debt is a slave to the lender, and um, you know. So we're kind of leading more of that direction recently.

Chris Grainger: 24:53

What was the hardest part about getting started with some of this too? Was it the education piece, or is it just, you know, I mean the, the funding. I mean what was the hardest part of getting started?

Stuart Grazier: 25:03

Um, man, I think, uh, it's scary. It's scary to to get started and that's with anything, right, Like, you can educate yourself as much as you possibly want. There's, there's so much education out there. There's so much information free, right, there's there's great books, there's great podcasts, there's great courses. There's, you know, YouTube, like you can find anything you want.

Stuart Grazier: 25:28

But, but then to actually take action and go do it right, To go risk capital your own money, to go ask people for investing in you when you've never done it before, Right, Trying that for the first time and potentially failing, uh is really hard, yeah, and uh, it's really hard to put yourself out there. Um, you know, that's something else that I've really had to, um, be okay with. I was, I mean, for almost my entire Naval career. Uh, I was very negative on all things social media, on all things thought leadership platforms and I kind of finally realized that this is kind of the way of the world and you kind of have to be known and be out there to get your word across and hopefully, you know, it's all in a positive light, Right, but, uh, you know, I I didn't want to tell people what I was doing. I, I was, I thought um, you know, that was all negative and I, and I don't, I and I, I now see that as as not truth, but, um, but yeah.

Stuart Grazier: 26:41

I think that was hard to put myself out there, you know, to be kind of in front of people, tell people what I'm doing. I thought, you know, I needed to be humble, which I still, you know, really tried to be humble. But I thought, like by posting stuff, you know, being somewhat braggadocious and letting families see what I'm doing and people in the military see what I'm doing was not a good thing, so that's a long answer to your question was not a good thing. So that's a long answer to your question. But I think just getting started, just trying to do stuff for the first time after you've been educated and and put yourself out there to be in the spotlight, to possibly fail, is hard.

Stuart Grazier: 27:20

Yeah.

Chris Grainger: 27:21

That fear can paralyze us. Man, sounds like you and Dave similar core beliefs as well. I mean. So you, uh, you lean into your faith and you guys just move forward. So, and I'm sure it hasn't been easy, you know, but uh, you're learning as you go. Yeah, that's right man.

Stuart Grazier: 27:37

Yeah, you know, it has definitely taken some uh, faith, you know, and and and taken some some blind steps, knowing, uh, knowing that God has our back, knowing that, uh, you know he's, he's driving the path Right. Often we get off path and he steers us back on. Uh, but uh, yeah, man you know there's there's definitely been ups and downs and it's been a rollercoaster ride, but uh, I think we're in a good spot.

Chris Grainger: 28:04

That's cool, man. So I mean, take us to what you're doing now, like your passion now. What do you guys do with Kinetic man? Like I'd love to just share with our guys where that's taking you guys to this point.

Stuart Grazier: 28:15

Yeah. So you know, kind of at the end of our naval career we were hot and heavy in the real estate trying to build those businesses. Like I said, we were flipping 50 houses a year and it was chaotic. We were a part of some real estate business mastermind groups, high performing men and women that were doing hundreds of deals, and that was kind of what our mindset was hustle, grind, more. There, you know, more, more, more, and it was all based on fear. It was all based on fear of leaving the military, knowing we weren't going to have that standard.

Stuart Grazier: 28:56

You know, paycheck on the 1st and the 15th, Right, and you know, really, really thinking that we had to provide for our families in the same manner that we were financially in the military. So our entire goal was to essentially replace our military income with all of our business income, with all of our real estate income. And so we were just in hustle grind mode. I was up at 4 am every single morning, just hustling, just working morning, just hustling, right, Just working.

Stuart Grazier: 29:30

And then I'd go to my Navy job and I'd be half distracted, not really being present with my Navy job and trying to build our real estate business and empire on the side and then I'd come home, I'd high five the wife and kids, we'd sit down for dinner, but then I'd go right back to my, my work, Right, Right, Um, I was just always just half there, I was half present and, uh, you know, COVID hit and our real estate um started having. There was an impact there. You know the our flips that would take three to four months. We ended up taking nine months um you know supply we're taking longer and more expensive.

Stuart Grazier: 30:05

We could only get one contractor in at a time to do our rehabs and we started losing money quite a bit and it started to be really hard and we started becoming really anxious, really frustrated. We were having a lot of arguments and battles with our team uh, both internally and externally, with David and I, and we had joined this other mastermind group, um, and we had a life coach. We had essentially like a life coach and this individual took us through this. He saw like kind of the writing on the wall. He kind of saw where this was going and he just asked a simple question of and he put us through this exercise of what would your life, what's your life, going to look like 10 years down the road if you don't change anything? And he let us sit in that for a little bit and reflect on it and journal on it. And it was incredibly powerful, man Cause I looked at that.

Stuart Grazier: 31:02

I looked at what I'm doing right now, 10 years down the road, if I don't change anything. What does my life look like? And I saw my wife and I not having a relationship. We were just roommates, right. I saw my wife or my children, not even knowing who I was, because I was just always working. Now I was. I was the dad with my cell phone in front of my face, just looking at the cell phone or on the call. Right, right, I said that my faith was a priority and was important to me. But we weren't even going to church on Sundays because that was like my catch-up day, to like get caught up on work, emails and social media and capital raising calls and all that stuff.

Stuart Grazier: 31:38

I said my health was a priority to me, but I was the heaviest I'd ever been, I was completely out of shape, I wasn't going to the gym, I was overweight, I felt terrible, I wasn't sleeping, and so all these things that we said were a priority in our life, our words weren't matching our actions Right. And this aha moment, this exercise that we went through, really kind of woke us up and we were like all right, we got to change some things. So we took and talked to our team and we said, hey, everything that is currently in the pipeline for flipping, we're not going to flip. We're not going to sell, we're going to stop everything. We're going to finish the rehabs and we're going to take all those houses and we're just going to put them into our own portfolio for rental properties.

Chris Grainger: 32:23

just to rent them.

Stuart Grazier: 32:26

We did big cash out, refinances, put them into our own portfolio and we stopped flipping houses. Everybody that had personally invested with us we said hey, if you want to invest with us, we're going to just pull your money and we'll just put it into a fund and we'll just be more passive and we'll lend that out to operators who need it. And so we just basically changed the entire system and processes within our real estate companies to be more passive and allow us to really get back to what was a priority and take action on those priorities Go to church, read the Bible, pray in the morning, go to the gym, go have fun with friends and relationship, have date nights with our spouses, have dates, dates with our kids. I do the things that we said were a priority, uh, and take action on those. And so, uh, we knew we couldn't do that alone and we knew that, you know, being in masterminds, being in small groups at church, uh, surrounding ourselves with community within the military we knew that we needed that, we needed accountability partners.

Stuart Grazier: 33:27

So David and I just asked 10 men that we knew would show up and just say hey, guys, you know, this is what we're doing, this is what we're working on. We want to be better husbands, we want to be better friends, we want to be better fathers. Can you guys just show up once a week on zoom and we'll just talk through this stuff, like we'll just sit with an hour. We'll talk through all these things. We'll hold each other accountable to these action steps and see if we can become better.

Stuart Grazier: 33:53

And so we just did that for 18 months through the transition out of the Navy into civilian life, and it was the most impactful, powerful thing, the most needed thing, at the exact right time, that we could have had and, reflecting on it, it was again God-driven, with the people that we asked to join Right and the conversations that we had, the vulnerability that we had, the honesty and the impact that that had on our families and ourselves was just huge. And so we knew that men need this. We knew that there's a lot of identity issues and crisis. There's a lot of challenges with the world and what success means to them what the world says success means versus what really is successful, and so we built a business from it. We started a podcast just discussing these topics and, man, it's. It's been, it's been huge for us, it's been super purposeful. I wake up every single day and I'm just on fire to go help men realize that there's more to life than than just making money and work and career.

Chris Grainger: 35:10

Amen to that, brother. Hey, we're going to take our second break. Guys, Be right back. I find it helps me to have a guide at times when I'm reading and studying the Bible. One way that helps me is by using devotionals to guide not only what I read, but insights into the scriptures themselves. So we were blessed to become an author on the YouVersion Bible app and we saw an immediate opportunity to help others with devotionals around the areas that we spend the most time talking about at the Lion Within Us.

Chris Grainger: 35:45

So if you enjoy the show, you may enjoy these devos as well. We have some guys that are using them as part of their small groups as well, as they're a great way to get conversations going. So to see the ones that we've created, head over to thelionwithinus slash youversion, and that's Y-O-U-V-E-R-S-I-O-N to learn more. So that's the lionwithinus slash YouVersion. To get started with your own men's devotional today. Dude, I'm curious, man. What does this look like? So you got these mastermind groups. Are they virtual? Are they in person? Give us some insight to how you guys are doing this and how you're helping people, man.

Stuart Grazier: 36:28

Yeah, so we came up with I think a lot of people have seen people call it the wheel of life or it's basically a circle with kind of pie charts. And so we did that same thing. We call it the kinetic life circle. And we came up with what's called the kinetic man, kinetic being, hey, what's called the kinetic man kinetic brain, hey, you know, we don't want to get to the end of our lives and say this, this man had a lot of potential, right, we want to, we want to take action, we want to be kinetic, we want to do what we say is important to us. And so we kind of came up with that concept. We came up with the kinetic life circle and we came up with a curriculum that goes with that. It's about an 80 page workbook document that we work through. We have two separate meetings. They're all virtual. We have, you know what we? We don't really call it the inner circle, but it's, it's the mastermind, it's the main mastermind, right, and it's it's one large group cohort. We meet once a week on zoom. We said that we didn't want our businesses to impact our family's life. So we do it on a Tuesday at lunch, right, so it's not impacting our nights and weekends to where we're with the family and we go through each section of the pie, the kinetic life circle, one month at a time. We call it getting real. It's the real paradigm.

Stuart Grazier: 37:43

We reflect on what success looks like in our lives for that subject Say it's family. We ask them really hard questions to reflect on that and answer those. We discuss it and we'd be vulnerable. We're honest. There's lots of tears, there's laughter. Week two is execute. Whatever we said was a priority, whatever we said, success looks like. We're going to talk about how we execute that. We assign accountability partners. Week three is account. So we come back and we talk about hey, how are we accounting for our actions? How are we holding each other accountable to that? Sure, and then week four is live. You know how do we live this out, not just this month, it's on the subject of what we're talking about. But but how do we live that out? How do we match our calendar to what we say is a priority?

Stuart Grazier: 38:26

What's what's what's making it on our calendar Right? How do we live this out on a regular basis? So we just kind of talk through those. We have some really hard conversations. We do Socratic conversations where we throw out a topic and just let guys debate. So that's all virtual and and then uh, Each month it resets.

Chris Grainger: 38:45

Is that kind of what I'm hearing?

Stuart Grazier: 38:46

So each month is a new topic, so we go through each topic of of the kinetic life circle.

Stuart Grazier: 38:53

Um, you know, we talk about family, faith, finances, health, um, I see giving, uh, stewardship, identity, so there's, there's a, there's a lot there. Um, that's kind of the main inner circle. And then we we knew that there was some barrier to entry to that because we expect people to show up and invest in that, and so we created a monthly kind of less barrier to entry to get into it just to kind of see what it's all about. So we do a monthly call as well and that's just kind of hitting the wave tops of of what the topic is all about. They get the workbook. They can work through that on their own.

Stuart Grazier: 39:32

We just do the very first subject, you know the the reflection piece to it. So we call it TKM reflections, and then they are assigned accountability partner and they go out and kind of do the rest of the workbook throughout the month on their own with some check-ins, right. And then we also try to do in-person community locally here in Colorado. You don't have to be a part of the membership for that. We just do weekly kind of hangouts whenever we can, and then we do also a in-person retreat once a year for first.

Chris Grainger: 40:03

So that's the one I saw. I think I saw a picture online with you posting that. It looked like a great time.

Stuart Grazier: 40:10

Yeah, man, we, you know, we, we've been doing them. We've done a few out of out of out of Colorado, but most of them have been right here in Colorado. It's just a great place to do them and get up in the mountains, get in solitude. We, we, we have, uh, olympic style games. We do like yard games where we do competition, um, which is a lot of fun.

Stuart Grazier: 40:29

We, we go on, you know, do some hard stuff. We go on a hike. We'll do like some like ropes course or something fun, um, you know, up in the mountains and then we, just, you know we we've had some guest speakers come in, um, but then it's just a lot of time of just fellowship. You know, breaking bread around a table and, um, you know, diving in and staying connected with each other and asking hard questions and doing some reflection time and journaling time and, um, just, you know, getting away right, just getting away and getting out in nature and giving yourself some space and some time to really reflect on, uh, you know, what's important in life is, is is huge.

Chris Grainger: 41:05

It is man and guys don't get that very often either. I mean churches. I'm curious what are your guys saying? How are they finding any of this what they're looking for in their church? Or I'm assuming they're coming to you because the church doesn't offer stuff like this right?

Stuart Grazier: 41:19

You know they're, they're, uh I don't want to talk bad about a church, you know, I think church is a great place, um, but they can only do so much, Right, um, and I think that there's just more needed, and I think that that we have to create more opportunities for people to connect, uh, in community. And, and again, the church does a really good job as much as they can for that. You know our church. They do men's retreats, they have small groups. I think. The difference, though, is that the church doesn't require a commitment. It's essentially all free, right, yep, and you know, I'm sure you've been a part of church small groups before, like I have, but every time I've joined a small group at church, um, you know, week one, everyone's on fire, everyone shows up.

Stuart Grazier: 42:15

You know you have a big group, but then it just dwindles, you know, and by the end of your you know your session, you know, maybe you started with 15 men and there could be like six at the end of it, right, and that's how it's always happened for me.

Stuart Grazier: 42:31

You know, people get fired up to go to these men's retreats, and they'll go to them, but then you never talk to anybody ever again. Right, there's no follow up, right, and so I think the differences with something like what you're doing and what we're doing is like we require an investment, and that changes things, because as soon as you kind of put your money where your mouth is, you show up differently and and you're you're actually investing in yourself and you're investing in, uh the people that you're hanging out with and you're investing in um the community that you're with. You're investing in uh yourself, uh and're with You're investing in yourself. And I think that there's a difference there and you just show up different and you show up better because of that 100% man Our community when it was just an open platform for anyone it had its bright spots.

Chris Grainger: 43:24

But, man, when we made that requirement, it changed the whole dynamic.

Stuart Grazier: 43:30

You guys want to be there. They want to be there, that's right.

Chris Grainger: 43:33

Yeah, amen. So I mean what's been maybe some of the coolest things you've seen with your groups and with the growth from the guys that you're working with.

Stuart Grazier: 43:42

Oh man, there's been so many cool stories in, uh, in different aspects of of men's lives, Um, and, and all these men have given me permission to kind of share these stories. I won't use names, but, um, you know, and one of the men had a similar story to me where his parents were divorced when they were really young. His father actually left, but he didn't have any contact with his father. He's now age 40. So for about 35 years he had no idea where his real father was. He basically just left the picture. He basically just left the picture and through these conversations of being a father and being present, he really had this conviction that he needed to kind of get in touch with his dad and at a minimum, forgive him, right, because he had a lot of anger deep, deep within, and so he figured out a way, through his grandma, to get in touch with his dad.

Stuart Grazier: 44:45

He wrote his dad a letter. That got to him. His dad responded in a letter and since, you know, it's not like a great news, end of story, but like they're starting to have conversations. Right, they've reconnected, they're starting with letters and I think they recently just got to phone calls and who knows where it goes, maybe they meet in person down the road, but it's a start, right, it's a start to creating a relationship with again. Um, so that's a really cool story. Um, you know, we have men that have found their faith. You know, when we first started talking about the kinetic man, we didn't really necessarily want to call it a Christian group, umarily, because we have friends that don't necessarily identify as a Christian, and so we wanted to keep it open with the idea that, hey, it's a discipleship opportunity.

Stuart Grazier: 45:35

And we've since recently said like, hey, this is a Christian group because we talk every time about our beliefs and if you don't have that belief, it's okay, but you need to know that we're going to talk about this stuff. So we've recently said, hey, this is a Christian group, but there were men that joined us at the very beginning, that weren't necessarily claimed to be Christians, they weren't necessarily said. They are believers and have since found Christ, found the Lord, and are walking in their faith. We have one of the men who left the religion a long time ago. His family grew up as Catholics. He hated it. As soon as he left out on his own, he never went back. As soon as he left out on his own, he never went back, as recently now going to church again, taking his family, going to small group, doing Bible studies and just engaging and just on fire for God, and so you know really, cool to see that kind of stuff too.

Stuart Grazier: 46:37

So you know, just good stuff, man. We've had a dude lose over 40 pounds, get off of a ton of medication and go on a health journey and hire a coach, and just lots of cool stuff going on. So just at the end, man, just really figuring out and defining what success looks like for you and only you, and not letting the world define success for you, and then going after that and pursuing what it means to be successful, and then going after that and pursuing what it means to be successful for you for your family and, with it, all centered on Christ, 100%.

Chris Grainger: 47:13

Brother, what do you say to the guy out there who's listening, who's like, yeah, that sounds great, but man, I don't need to pay to be in a group around a bunch of guys. That's going to make me better. I got my own little group. I know there's so many guys who are negative when they hear it. When I hear stuff like this, how do you approach it?

Stuart Grazier: 47:28

I told him. I told I tell them that I was the exact same way, I had the exact same mindset. I didn't, uh, I, I was the biggest naysayer of, of pain, for really anything I was. I was, uh, somewhat. You know, some people call me a cheap. I like to say frugal, but right. But yeah, man, I think you know, do you invest in in your bank account?

Stuart Grazier: 47:59

Do you invest in growing your, your stock portfolio? Do you invest in in anything that you want to become better? Like, why would you not invest in your, in your life? Why would you not invest in your family? Like, why would you not invest in your life? Why would you not invest in your family? Why would you not invest in your health? Like, there's something that happens and changes when you invest your personal dollars into something. Right. Right, the college of YouTube isn't going to get you there because there's no accountability, there's no community and there's no follow-up. Right, you have to have that to grow. Right, you have to have people checking up on you. You have to have people that are calling you out on on your non-action, your BS. You have to have people lifting you up and pushing you forward to make you better. You can't do that on your own.

Chris Grainger: 48:43

Can't, brother, can't. Oh, man, you got. You got to do some incredible stuff out there too. I'm absolutely just blessed to know you and be in. Have you share? I mean, before we wrap up, though, man, let's do a lightning round with you. I want some fun stuff out of you before we go. Bud, let's do it All right, bud. So maybe baseball's the answer. I'm curious, what? Maybe baseball is the answer. I'm curious. What's your favorite hobby?

Stuart Grazier: 49:03

I like baseball. I like coaching baseball. My six-year-old is all into baseball and it's been really, really fun to be a coach out on the field with him.

Chris Grainger: 49:17

You bring a whole other level to the volunteer coach, bro, because you played D1 ball.

Stuart Grazier: 49:31

I mean you're not out there YouTube and have a run of practice. No, I, uh, I try, I try to uh to um, stay grounded, right, I try to not be. You know, the, the, the super intense uh coach at at age six. You know, maybe we'll get there down the road, but, um, but yeah, I love it, man, it's, it's, it's a lot of fun.

Stuart Grazier: 49:42

Um, you know, I recently told this story on a different podcast but it really fires me up. We've been talking a lot in the family about um, our values and we. We put kind of words and phrases to our last name and um, a in grazier we came up with always point up and and my son, uh, he, they have this. Like the um, the other coach, like came up with this, uh, this idea where, like we all, they all have walkout songs, like they get little walkout songs and they walk up to play and they have like this, you know, announcer from like the major league, like now up to bat, Wells Grazier with the cool little song, and so he walks up to the plate and he does this every time and he looks at me down the third baseline I'm the third base coach and looks at me and he, and he taps his chest and points up, as he kind of gets up to the plate. You know, as for our value of of always point up, and dude, he gets me every time.

Stuart Grazier: 50:37

It gets me. Every time it just puts the biggest smile on my face and, uh, it's such, it's just such, a pure joy, uh, to be out there and be present be a part of that, and so, yeah, so we're spending a lot of time playing baseball recently.

Chris Grainger: 50:49

Love it, brother. Love it all right now. How about superpower? If you could have one, what would it be and how would you use it?

Stuart Grazier: 50:55

oh, superpower man, uh, to be a better listener. I think, just um, it's, it's a superpower that I think everyone should be better at. And, uh, I'm not very good at it. I tend to open my mouth a lot faster than I should. Uh and yeah, man like maybe it's just keep my mouth shut and just listen a whole lot more. That'd be a great superpower.

Chris Grainger: 51:26

There you go, brother. How about a all time favorite movie? Man, when are you popping in?

Stuart Grazier: 51:31

Ooh man, we. So you know we're these days we're big into the Disney movies, the Disney Pixar movies. I don't know if I can tell you there's a favorite. I'll tell you one that we just recently watched that had a major impact on me. It's still in the theaters. It's called Inside Out 2.

Chris Grainger: 51:49

I didn't even see Inside Out.

Stuart Grazier: 51:50

1, but Inside Out 2 had a massive impact on me. I highly recommend it, really really good. Another one that just came to mind is it's an Oldie but a Goodie, but Sandlot, it's kind of a baseball theme.

Chris Grainger: 52:04

Yeah, bro, love that movie.

Stuart Grazier: 52:05

It reminds me of my days of being a child. I wish, I wish we could kind of get back to the those same days for my, my children, you know, just to go and play all summer long. No, you know, parental authority go play baseball, go, I like that movie a lot.

Chris Grainger: 52:21

It's a great one, man. It's a great one. What's your all-time favorite food, man? Where are you going to? Oh, dude, Mexican food. All things.

Stuart Grazier: 52:29

Mexican food. I grew up in Texas, so Tex-Mex that's what I grew up on. But I love Mexican food in Colorado, I love it in New Mexico, I love it in Texas, I love it about anywhere. You just put meat, beans, cheese, rice and all the all the fixings together, in any form or fashion, it's delicious.

Chris Grainger: 52:46

Yeah, that's right, you're good to go there, no doubt about it. How about a habit man You're? You're with your mastermind groups and stuff. You're coaching a lot of guys Any habits that you started recently, that man, you just get a lot of value out of.

Stuart Grazier: 53:07

Yeah, dude, I've been working a lot on, um, just silence, silence and solitude. And what I've been doing a lot of recently that's been really, really powerful for me is I really enjoy listening to worship music, I really enjoy listening to podcasts, but recently I've been just putting all that away, putting the phone away, not listening to anything, and just going on a long walk, just getting out in nature. A lot of times I'll do like a weighted backpack, like a rock or something like that, and and I'll just go for like an hour long rock with, with no music, no podcast, no nothing, and just like engage in in full listen mode, full, just, you know, observance of of what God created, and just like let my, let my thoughts just run and just observe and thank God for everything that he's provided for for us, Um, and it's been really, really powerful. It's, it's allowed me to really slow down and it's allowed me to then be present, uh, for for my family and for the ones that you know, my relationships, that, uh, that I desire most.

Chris Grainger: 54:04

That's cool, man. That's cool. I love rucking too, dude. That's some fun stuff. Yeah, I'm not running, I love to do. I usually do about two rucks a week.

Stuart Grazier: 54:13

Yeah, that's my goal as well is try to get two in.

Chris Grainger: 54:17

So an hour you're hitting. What about a 5K?

Stuart Grazier: 54:19

About a 5K. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

Chris Grainger: 54:21

All right, I'm on the same, we're on the same page, bro.

Stuart Grazier: 54:24

Yeah, it's good, man, it's. It's just good for the soul, it's. I mean, it's good for your health, it's good for your body, but it's just good for the soul. Just to just to, you know, and the Uh, I first thing I do in the morning is grab a cup of coffee and open up, you know, the Bible and start reading. I have a devotional that I go to, so I journal, and sometimes I just sit, just sit there in silence and just allow for kind of everything to to kind of be downloaded. Um, that's cool man. Yeah, that's been a good practice for me this year.

Chris Grainger: 54:58

Well, when you sit and think about God man, what's your favorite thing about him?

Stuart Grazier: 55:04

Hmm, when you sit and think about God man, what's your favorite thing about him? I love that he comes through at exactly the right time.

Chris Grainger: 55:09

Right bro.

Stuart Grazier: 55:11

Exactly the right time, and it might not be in the exact same way that you think he needed to come through, but he always comes through.

Stuart Grazier: 55:19

It's the one conversation you needed that day. It's the one line in the book that you read that morning that just blew your mind. It's the divine appointment that you had a conversation with. That was a networking call. It's the random dude that you talked to at the gym that day that you said hello to. It's it's the, the phone call that you needed to like raise some money because you were in a dire need for your real estate deal to to get to closing. Like. Whatever it is, man, whatever it is he always comes through.

Chris Grainger: 55:51

Amen, bro, amen. What's your least favorite thing about the evil one?

Stuart Grazier: 55:59

He's really good. He's really good at what he does. Um, he makes it really good. He's really good at what he does. Um, he makes it really easy, uh, to believe the lies that he submits. It makes it really easy, uh, to believe that success is what the world tells you. Right, he's really easy. He does a really good job and makes it really easy for you to think that you're going to be happier with more things more money, more power, more social media likes, more thumbs up emojis. He makes you think that the world is successful by the things that he promotes right, All the idols that aren't God. He's really good at it.

Chris Grainger: 56:49

I know, bro, I know Well, man. Last question for our lightning round brother is uh, what do?

Stuart Grazier: 57:00

you hope the guys listening remember the most from our conversation I think. I think I want men to to really think about what success looks like to them.

Stuart Grazier: 57:09

Not, not what, not what the world says, not what the devil is trying to tell you and what he's lying to you about, like, what does success mean to you for your life? And then go take action on that Right and be intentional and be present at home with your family, with your friends, with your most important relationships. Because I tell you what no one cares on your deathbed about how much money you made Right, no one cares about all this. You know the quote unquote successful stuff you did. Everyone cares about the relationships that you had with the people that you loved.

Chris Grainger: 57:50

Amen, brother. Where do you want the guys to go through to connect with you what you're building, just all the wonderful things that ways you're serving others?

Stuart Grazier: 57:58

Yeah, man, thank you. Thank you for this opportunity. So we have a podcast as well. It's called the kinetic man podcast. Chris, we were blessed with his presence on there quite a while ago. We need to have you back on for round two.

Chris Grainger: 58:10

Yeah, bro.

Stuart Grazier: 58:11

So go check out the kinetic man podcast. We're a little behind you. I think we just went over episode 350 just recently.

Chris Grainger: 58:18

There, you go.

Stuart Grazier: 58:19

So that's been a lot of fun and, if you don't mind, one of the things like I've been talking about a lot is just being present at home with family. We came up with a hundred questions Like one of the things that we really try to be present with is just sitting around the dinner table and making that a habit to sit around the table and have conversation with our family. We came up with a hundred questions like a hundred intentional questions to ask around the dinner table to have more of a conversation than just like what you did at school that day and what's the weather and what's the sports right Like some deep, meaningful, fun conversations to ask at the dinner table.

Stuart Grazier: 58:52

So we had a list of a hundred questions of those. If you want that, you can just reach out to us in an email and we'll send you that list of a hundred questions. You can just send an email to me, stuart, at the kinetic mancom, and I'll send you that list.

Chris Grainger: 59:07

It's it's pretty fun to to have that conversation over me too, bro, I want to use it.

Stuart Grazier: 59:14

I want to use it. It's fun, so that's it, man.

Chris Grainger: 59:16

That's it, Awesome brother. Anything else you want to share today, man?

Stuart Grazier: 59:19

No, I thank you for this time, man. It's great to see you. You know, I know you're doing amazing stuff and I applaud you for your efforts. People won't know until you get to heaven how many blessings you've created.

Chris Grainger: 59:35

Brother, that's right back to you, man. I mean, you're one of the guys, I look up to you and Dave. So, man, keep rocking it, keep being that kinetic man, and thank you so much for sharing your story today, brother. Thanks, keep rocking it, keep being that kinetic man and thank you so much for sharing your story today, brother.

Stuart Grazier: 59:44

Thanks brother, you too man.

Chris Grainger: 59:48

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Chris Grainger: 1:01:09

All right, fellas, I told you that was gonna be a good one, so it did not disappoint. Stu was awesome, so hopefully you guys got a chance to listen, take some notes, maybe think about the way that you're evaluating some of your investments moving forward. I mean, he really challenged some of our thinking right there, so I'm just so grateful for him. I'm just less than honored to know him. One thing I want you to think about this as you move forward is what fears are holding you back from taking the action that God's calling you to do. I mean, god's calling you to do something. So are we going to let that fear paralyze us or are we going to let that faith motivate us to action? Okay, and that's it. We have to move to do something, all right? So, guys, hopefully you enjoyed this one. Share this out with others, particularly if you have any former or any guys in the military or maybe they served at one point they probably enjoy hearing a story like this and connecting with him. If you're in Colorado, check out for sure some of the events they have coming up. I just absolutely love this guy. He's just a cool brother in Christ. I definitely want to support him and what he's doing.

Chris Grainger: 1:02:02

Okay, head over to the lionwithinus for all our resources, all our Bible studies, the devotions, access to our community, access to our masterminds. Guys I mean, again, we have masterminds as well. Just not pitting one against the other, just find a group that works for you, lean in and make it happen. Okay, so, guys, this is what it's all about just supporting fellow brothers in Christ. So, thank you, guys, so much Again. Thelionwithinus is how you connect with us to get started with any of the stuff that we're doing, maybe jumping to the community and be part of our group, all right. So, guys, come back on Friday. We'll have a bunch of tips, we'll have some dad jokes, obviously a book of the week and we'll give you a fun way to head into your weekend.